Dating an X-Man is Hazardous to Your Health
by robbiepoo2341
Summary: In Volume 2 of the 714 Marvel universe, Kate has been dating Nightcrawler for a while now, but now that she's living in the mansion, she's starting to realize that the X-Men and mutants have some problems that she just isn't used to dealing with. And she's not quite prepared to deal with all of them, so of course, she'll have to turn to her new mentor, Wolverine, for help.
1. The Kidnapping of Wolverine and Kurt

**Notes from robbie: For those of you that can be considered to be my 'usual crowd,' if I even have one of those considering how long it's been since I update my main stuff (SORRY), this is what has been occupying my time (and I'm not actually sorry about it).**

 **I'd like to send you to Canucklehead Cowgirl for Volume 1, "A Wolverine, an Elf, and a Hawkeye Walk Into a Bar," in which we set up what we're now referring to as the 714 universe, AKA the Marvel universe where we are going to make people _happy_ , gosh darn it. If we have to MAKE them be happy.**

 **… And then we will throw nasty stuff at them of course. But first, happiness! :D**

 **Anyway, yes, please read Volume 1 if you want an explanation for what the heck is going on with Kate Bishop and Kurt Wagner being the BEST SHIP EVER and also for just general awesomeness ;)**

 **Notes from CC: Hello! Oh lookit that! We just moved from one writer profile to the other! AMAZING. I hope you all came along with us. Bring a friend. Plenty of room on the good ship Kart!**

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 **Chapter 1: "The Kidnapping of Wolverine and Kurt"**

It was late enough that there were very few customers at the malt shoppe except for the two young women in one of the furthest corner booths — a blonde and a darker-haired woman. They were regular customers, though, and none of the wait staff were surprised to see them. It had been a longstanding tradition for Kate Bishop and Cassie Lang to meet up whenever they could get away to catch up with each other, and ice cream was their favorite excuse.

"Okay, but you _clearly_ haven't updated me on all the stories," Cassie said with a grin as she looked across the table at Kate.

Kate just gave her friend a wry grin. "That's because we haven't had the chance to sit down and talk since… forever," she pointed out, though that was only have the story. The other half was that she had broken a date with Cassie already, several times, because for a while there, it had been hard trying to do the solo Hawkeye thing _and_ the Hawkeyes teamup _and_ still hang out at the X-Mansion all the time.

That was the thing about superhero dating, Kate reflected as she took a bite out of the chocolate chunks in her sundae. Sometimes, the scheduling thing was hard. Sometimes, your boyfriend went out with the X-Men while you fought Hydra with a stupid blonde archer. And sometimes there were long gaps when one fight ended long before the other ended — so… ice cream with Cassie was a great time-filler. Well, more than a time-filler. But still.

She couldn't help but grin over at Cassie, whose eyes were positively sparkling with excitement. "Come on, Kate. I saw you on the news. Since when are you an X-Man? You don't have any _powers_."

"I don't have an X-uniform; I just hang out with them," Kate said in the tired tone of someone who had explained it a hundred times over.

"Uh-huh." Cassie smirked over the top of her spoon. "I tried to look you up at your apartment, but someone else lives there now." She raised her eyebrows and just slowly stirred what was left in her bowl as she waited for the dirt.

"Well isn't that interesting," Kate said with a straight face as Cassie just shook her head.

"You're _living_ at that mansion, aren't you?" Cassie blurted out, pointing her spoon at her. "I know you are — so start _spilling!"_

"Cassie, I send you selfies when we go out on adventures together, I call you all the time-"

"You are _living at the mansion._ You're totally an X-Man," Cassie said. She scooped out the last of the brownie at the bottom of her sundae and popped it in her mouth. "Doesn't matter if you have an X on your uniform. Don't lie to me," she said around the chocolate, not nearly as intimidating with a mouthful of brownie as she was probably trying to be.

"Look, they offered, but—"

 _"What?"_ Cassie looked mortally offended as she rushed to swallow her sweets with a hard gulp. "They offered and you _turned them down_?"

"I literally just went solo, like, a couple weeks before I met Kurt?" Kate pointed out. "I want to keep doing the solo-Hawkeye thing for a while."

Cassie raised an eyebrow. "I'd say a few months is plenty of solo time, Kate. Not that you've been solo that whole time."

"You promised you'd stop teasing," Kate said, shaking her head. "And making bad jokes."

"Never." Cassie said it with such relish that they both had to laugh. "He's cute, Kate. And I still haven't met him, and this is a _crying shame_."

"Your mom would have a freakout if you met any more superheroes than you already know," Kate pointed out.

"My mom has a freakout just because I eat ice cream with you," Cassie teased.

Kate just had to laugh at that and shake her head. "Your mom likes me," she insisted.

"Well... only because you don't try to take me out shooting Hydra or something. Malt shoppes are safe." Cassie made a little face, obviously annoyed at being stuck doing "safe" things.

"I will totally take you out shooting Hydra if you ask me to," Kate said with a little smirk before she looked down at her phone for about the eighth time in the past fifteen minutes to check for any messages. _Still nothing._

She was trying to convince herself she didn't need to worry, because it wasn't like superhero schedules were exact. She and Clint had been gone for _days_ one time trying to get Black Cat's little mind-control menaces all chased down — with an overly excited Wade asking her way too many questions about whatever-the-heck-'Kart'-was.

But still. She'd at least called ahead to break her date. And Kurt was actually pretty good about at least warning her that a mission was going to run long so she wasn't waiting for him to make plans.

She stuck her phone back in her pocket and sighed. She shouldn't worry. He was out with Logan, and those two lost track of time always. They were probably getting up to trouble without her — she was kind of mad she hadn't gone with, but hey, when America Chavez asks for your help fixing dimensional barriers that threaten to implode the multiverse? You say yes.

But… it had been a few days. Kurt and Logan were supposed to be back before Kate got home — in fact, they were supposed to be _bored_ and _waiting for her_ for at least a couple days by the time she was doing doing the space thing with America.

And now? She'd been back on Earth for three days without any sign of Kurt or Logan, and she was starting to wonder just how many days was the limit before she needed to call for help. Kurt _had_ said that it might take a while… But what was "a while" with the X-Men?

"What's the deal? You waiting on an important message or something?" Cassie asked.

"At this point, a _smiley face_ from Kurt would be nice," Kate half-grumbled.

"You still haven't heard from him?" Cassie asked with a little frown, and Kate slipped the phone back under the table.

Kate sighed and shook her head. "No. And this is really not like him — except that it's Wolverine. Those two… they're a special brand of trouble. So I'm half-convinced they're just fighting ninjas and drinking whiskey and they just forgot to look at a calendar or something."

"And the other half of you?" Cassie asked quietly.

Kate leaned back and pushed the empty sundae glass away from her. "The other half is thinking I probably should have called, like, Storm or something at least two days ago."

"So do that, then," Cassie said as she pulled out her card to pay for the ice cream — it was her turn to buy. "I mean, worst case scenario if you're wrong — you find your man drunk with his best friend and you can hit him over the head and make him make it up to you."

"Yeah." Kate fiddled with her phone for a minute and then let out a little laugh. "Sorry to cut the visit short, Cassie, but I guess I have some X-Men to… assemble."

"Stop hanging out with Clint. That was horrible."

"I know. It's catching. I'm looking into a program," Kate said with a little laugh before she started to look through her contacts. "Can you get home okay?"

"I _am_ old enough to drive now, _Mom._ "

Kate stuck her tongue out at her friend. "I thought you wanted me to worry at least a little."

"About the _cute boy_ , not _me,_ " Cassie said, laughing. "Just call up your team. And get yourself a patch or something. We all know you're in denial."

Kate just rolled her eyes but knew better than to argue with Cassie when she thought she was that right. She scrolled through the contacts once more, wondering if this was really worth a Storm call. She didn't want the Goddess thinking she couldn't handle a few days' separation if she was overthinking and overblowing the situation….

 _There. That one._

She pushed the little fireworks icon next to Jubilee's phone number and waved at Cassie as she started to walk down the street toward her little purple bug. When she heard Jubes' surprised 'hello?' on the other end, she launched into a quick, "Hey, I know it's kind of late, but I need your advice."

"No no," Jubes said quickly. "I'm up — it's cool. We're up. What's going on with you?"

"I need you to tell me if I'm just — not used to the length of X-Men missions or something or if I should be worried about Logan and Kurt not checking in for forever. Or at least, it feels like forever? I think? I may be overblowing it?"

There was silence on the line long enough that Kate had to prompt Jubes again to answer. "You should come home. Unsecured line and all that. Hank would skin me if I said anything right now."

"Okay, right." Kate nodded as she tucked the phone into the space between her shoulder and her ear and slid into the driver's seat. "I'm on my way now... just got finished talking with a friend after a couple days with Clint after the America thing... But… I'm not crazy then, right?"

"I'll be waiting for you," Jubes promised. "And no. You're definitely not crazy. At least not about this. I can't promise you're not crazy over other things."

"I'm… not sure that makes me feel any better," Kate admitted, though she had to smirk just the same at the little jibe. "I'll be there soon."

"I wish I could play it down better, and I'm not going to lie to you over the phone or otherwise... but I promise I'll explain everything. _Everything._ Just — don't get a ticket on the way."

"You're a gem," Kate said before she hung up and just _gunned it._ Perks of being a Hawkeye? She tended to know where the hidden police cars were. Whether from rooftops or from experience watching Clint try to explain that _no I'm seriously an Avenger — no I'm not Iron Fist; I'm Hawkeye!_

By the time she got to the mansion, it was well after midnight, and she wasn't surprised to see that most of the halls were still dark. Nor was she surprised that despite this, Jubes was waiting for her in the garage like she'd promised, and in a second, Kate all but jumped out of the car to run over to the older girl. "It's been... five days? Give or take?" she tried to explain.

"I know," Jubes said nodding her head as she took Kate by the hand and led her inside and down to the lower levels. "Normally, that's not exactly a big deal? But … We have a problem. And I don't think you've ever had to deal with this... issue." She gave her a forced smile and shook her head. "Of all the times to get my stupid powers back — it _had_ to be now."

"Why? What's that supposed to — what, are you wishing you were a vampire again so you could break someone in half? Because I will help if they hurt Kurt," Kate said in a rush.

"No — though it would be useful right now," Jubes admitted with a shrug. "Have you been watching the news lately? There is a _lot_ of anti-mutant huff going on." She opened the door to the ready room where Storm and Henry were waiting — several screens showing the side of the news that simply wasn't shown to the public.

Kate wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes. "That always happens during election season. It's stupid," she said, her voice filled with disgust.

"Yeah, well — it's not exactly the same as healthcare, and this isn't a cyclical issue," Jubes said quietly. "It's … these people want to lock us up at _best_." She flipped through a few screens until she found one with the shapeshifting androids that were taking what _had_ to be mutants into custody and forcibly putting dampening collars on them before they were cuffed and hauled off. "We're trying to get enough non-mutant support to go get them. Hence — the wishing I was still more vampire and less mutant. At least for the moment. The Avengers won't touch this. Too much of a PR disaster for them and SHIELD has never been helpful in these instances."

"Right…" Kate stared at the screens for a long moment as her frown just kept getting deeper and deeper before finally she just shook her head hard enough to move her headband out of place. "What kind of support do you need?"

"Two, maybe three non-mutants to help Spidey," Jubes said frankly. "Kurt will be fine, but depending on what they're doing to Logan? If he's got a collar on, he's not getting out on his own this far in the game." She rolled her shoulder. "None of us can go in without tripping off their sensors."

Kate was already running through the list of her friends in her head. She couldn't ask Tommy or Billy, considering their mom and their powers, but…maybe America? "Do you want someone stealthy? Because I might know someone, but she's so not stealthy."

"Well. It depends?" Jubes said. "Whoever it is has to work well with Spidey. If they have issues with him — it won't work. I've been trying to get a hold of Cap... but — he doesn't know me well enough? But I think he'd help outside of the Avengers if he's free."

 _Okay, America might not work. Dunno if she's worked with Spidey._ Kate chewed her bottom lip before she just nodded decisively. "Say the word and I'll call Cap up. Clint might help too." She paused and thought about it. "Clint _will_ help. I'll tell him to go, and he'll go." She whipped out her phone. "Which blonde Avenger do you want me to call first?"

"Whichever one will answer?" Jubes said with a shrug. "Hank couldn't get anywhere with Cap except a promise that he'd hold a press conference to distract them when we're ready — but... I don't know what that's going to do."

"Well, if the politicians haven't changed since I had to go to the last stupid party? They'll all be watching whatever Cap says, because you do not want a reporter to ask your opinion on what he said and have to admit you didn't watch," Kate said with a little smirk.

"Well then, I guess if that's all Cap can do for one of his best Avengers — or … two of them, then I guess call the other blonde. We can always use more blondes," Jubes offered with a nervous smile.

Kate nodded and pressed the '3' on her speed-dial. She didn't wait for Clint to say 'hello' before she launched into it. "Get your butt over here to the mansion, Barton. We're going to go save my boyfriend and his best friend from _stupid horrible people_ ," she said, shooting Jubes what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

There was just the slightest pause on the other end before Clint said, "Alright. Let me get my bow. I'll be there in half an hour."

"Twenty minutes. There's not much traffic right now, and I know how you drive." Kate waited just long enough to hear Clint chuckle at that before she hung up and turned to Jubes. "Alright. You have two Hawkeyes. Now tell me where to go and I'll make them regret stealing my man."

"Spidey is setting up a simulation in the Danger Room," Jubes said. "If you want to run it with him while you wait, you'll get to learn the layout of the facility you'll be going into. These places are a little scary though."

Kate's gaze rested on the screens for a moment as the pit of her stomach curled thinking of Logan and Kurt facing _that_. "Yeah… Not as scary as I'll be if I don't get my Elf back in one piece," she said with obviously false bravado.

"Chin up, Hawkeye," Jubes said as she moved to lead Kate to the Danger Room. "They've been through worse."

Kate glanced Jubes' way and cracked a little smile. "Yeah, well, that's not all that comforting. Just means more worrying for me down the line after we get them out of this one," she joked lightly before she looked a little more serious. "Besides, I'm not the one they're after. You guys… just… that sucks. It really does."

"We're doing what we can," Jubes said with a sigh. "Politics though. You know. There's not enough mutants anymore to make that big of an impact, and the ones that are still here? We're all labeled the most dangerous ones - some … worse than others."

Kate pursed her lips for a long moment in silence and then shook her head. "Yeah. They clearly misspelled 'awesome' with you guys. We'll have to fix that." She stopped outside the door of the Danger Room and quickly stepped in to give Jubes a hug. "You're a gem, you know that, right?"

"I've heard it once or twice," Jubilee replied with a smile. "Of course — just wait until my powers are back up to full — then we can have some fun." She sent up a few little sparkles from her fingertips. "Naturally — it's just itty bitty sparkles still. Useless."

"But very pretty," Kate assured her.

She leaned forward and whispered to her. "I blew up the danger room. Twice. These... are nothing."

Kate leaned forward too. "Don't tell me things like that. It sounds like a challenge and I like living here and not being kicked out for vandalism."

Jubilee kind of laughed at her for a moment. "I have found that if you tack on an 'oops' and act like you're horrified at your own actions? Pretty much anything is forgivable."

"Good to know." Kate just shook her head. "When Clint gets here, send him down — I don't think he knows the way. He's hopeless," she said with a small smirk before she slipped into the Danger Room to get in a little practice recon with Spiderman.

Peter looked up when Kate came in and only looked a little bit surprised - though he seemed more surprised at how long it had taken her to get there than anything else as he said, "You're joining the rescue team then?" with a little reassuring grin.

"If I'd known we needed to make a rescue team I'd have started it, and you'd be taking orders from me," she replied.

"Lucky for me that didn't happen then, isn't it?" Peter said with an obvious grin under his mask.

"I'm tough but fair," Kate countered, one hand resting on her hip as she gestured at the Danger Room. "For example, I _fairly_ concede that you know the layout better than me, so… lead on, Spiderman."

"I _firmly_ concur, and am more than happy to walk you through it before things get to the ugly stages. Unless … they're already ugly and we're batting clean up — but let's not focus on that, shall we?"

"Yeah, we're not even gonna say that out loud anymore," Kate agreed. "Just… gonna go get the boys."

After Kate and Peter had spent about twenty minutes running through the halls of the facility holding Logan and Kurt, the simulation broke for a moment as the doors opened and Jubes poked her head inside. "So. You guys feel like adding a couple more?" She opened the door wider to admit Clint — and Natasha.

Kate beamed at both of them, relieved to see them both, and gave them a little finger wave. "I see you brought a plus one, Natasha," she called out.

"You can't go pick up my _dyaden'ka_ without me," Natasha said as if there was never even a question of her coming before she gestured to Clint. "And this one needs to be paper trained still." She shook her head as she looked at Kate. "You let him slip. It's like starting all over."

"I'll have to get my spray bottle and newspaper then," Kate said as Clint put on a highly offended expression.

"I knew letting you to go on that weekend getaway together was going to come back and bite me," Clint muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. "Now you're teaming up on me."

"Like you _let_ us do anything," Kate said, rolling her eyes. She just tossed her hair over her shoulder and waved them in. "Come on in. Meet our team leader. Or — have you guys already met?" she said with a little smile as she gestured between Clint and Natasha and Peter.

"Oh hi," Spidey said with a little wave as he hung down from a web attached to the ceiling. "We've been introduced. Once or twice." He looked between the two of them and tipped his head to the side. "Kate — you wanna give them the quick and dirty run down and we'll rush through the sim so we can go get our missing mutants?"

"Yeah." She turned to Nat and Clint and took a deep breath. "They took my Elf. To this place." She gestured around the room. "So we're getting him and Wolverine back. Any questions?"

"You've been hanging out with Logan way too much," Clint said, shaking his head.

"That's not a question," Kate countered with a smirk.

"What's wrong with hanging out with Logan, exactly?" Natasha asked Clint with her head tipped the slightest and her arms crossed. "Details, please, since you seem to find her planning skills … lacking something."

"It's only a problem when she starts _talking_ like him," Clint said, pointing Kate's way. "If she says 'eh', then I'm going to put her through, like, some kind of therapy or something."

"I would like to state for the record," Spidey said. "That all Danger Room sessions are recorded, and the list of people authorized to review them is … incredibly _short._ "

"Careful there, Spidey," Clint said, turning Peter's way. "That sounded like a crack about a mutual friend of ours."

"Moving on!" Spidey said with a clap of his hands as the room shifted again to the sim. "We are here. They are not — so, please turn your attention to where they ARE — and let's go. I'm thinking — we split up and each of us gets a Hawkeye?"

"Sounds fair," Kate said, grinning at Natasha, who smirked the slightest bit.

"I'll let our team leader decide which of you two he's willing to inflict on himself," she said.

"You," Spidey said, pointing a finger Nat's way, "are far more suited to putting up with Clint. And - if Logan needs a little … help? Getting out? Both of us big strong he-men are up for the job. I think. Or you know — call me and I'll come and do the heavy lifting if he's not conscious."

"Well now I'm glad I didn't skip strength training in the Avengers' gym this week," Clint said dryly.

"I aced that course," Spidey said as he twisted in a drop from his web to land on his feet and look over his shoulder. "And I still get to keep my svelte figure."

"I think I lost my figure in the move to my current place. You know. The one for targets," Clint said with a shrug.

"The one that is rightfully _mine,_ " Kate said, and Clint looked at her like she was crazy.

"You have to _earn_ it, Katie Kate."

Kate just rolled her eyes at him and then turned her attention to the Danger Room and the simulation as Spidey walked them through the infiltration points and they ran through the halls of the facility a few more times until they'd all committed the layout to memory and were prepared for the task ahead.


	2. That's Not My Call Sign

**Notes from robbie: Yes, we are back with our "save the boyfriend" story ;) We couldn't leave you guys hanging for _too_ long, after all!**

 **We're having way too much fun with this story, y'all… We've already got so much written it's really just a matter of us sitting down to edit it that's keeping us from updating because why would we EDIT when we could WRITE about HAPPY MARVEL CHARACTERS? (ok so they're not happy right now because kidnap victims but you know what I mean). So… here, have a rescue party! :D**

 **From CC: (True dat, robbiepoo. True dat.) glad to hear that you're enjoying it - but … if you're following our line of thinking we may need a monkey wrench or two… or three or seven. I hate being too predictable.**

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Chapter 2: "That's Not My Call Sign"

The mood in the jet on the way out to where their friends were being held was far more subdued than it had been in the Danger Room — especially the closer they got to their target.

Pete wasn't joking, and neither was Clint — and Natasha was just very quietly piloting. Kate was worrying her hands over her bow, her foot bouncing the slightest bit as she couldn't quite get the images that she had seen in the monitors in the mansion out of her head.

It wasn't that she hadn't _thought_ about the anti-mutant movement. She knew it weighed on her friends, on Tommy and Billy — who were the _Scarlet Witch's_ kids. She'd been disgusted with it every time it came on the news and switched channels.

But living in the mansion... that made it so much more terrifying, somehow. Knowing that just about everyone around her was considered to be something less than human, that there were people out there claiming people like the _angel_ that was Kurt... didn't have souls.

She closed her eyes and could only see the faces of some of those mutants being rounded up, handcuffed — this was the stuff they didn't play on national television. It was on Twitter, online — there were activist blogs, that kind of thing. But she just kept thinking of Kurt being treated like… like a criminal… or something less than human, like an _animal_. And all she wanted to do was put an arrow right between the knees of whoever was running that _horrible_ facility.

And she couldn't help but feel a bit of the shame blush up in her cheeks, because that was an incredibly selfish thing to think about — how this affected _her_. Because she wasn't the one locked up somewhere wearing a collar and being subjected to who-knows-what for _five days._

She really should have called someone sooner. _Why_ didn't she call Jubes or Storm or _someone_ sooner?

Kate sighed, shook her head, and settled out, running through scales in her head like she would do before cello concerts until they landed as close to the facility as Peter was comfortable getting without setting off alarms, and the two teams broke off — Kate with Peter and Clint with Natasha. A Hawkeye apiece, like Spidey had said.

They slipped right through the security — as Jubilee had told them, the scanners spaced around the wall containing the facility only picked up on the x-gene that all mutants were affected by in one way or another.

Kate and Peter made quick work of slipping past the guards that were covering the entrances, with Peter crawling on the walls behind her and occasionally giving Kate a bit of a web-aided lift, while Kate tried to put into practice some of the lockpicking and other techniques Clint had taught her from his less-than-savory days in the circus to get them inside.

Once they were in, the layout of the building was exactly the same as it had appeared in the Danger Room, which made life infinitely easier when it came to finding hidey-holes for Kate and dark corners where a certain Spider would fire off a blast of webbing, covering security cameras as they went.

Deeper into the complex and at a spot that was totally invisible to cameras, Kate set to work carefully breaking into a vent cover, and the two smaller members of the four-person rescue team squeezed into the air vents together — glad that they had good intel and maps to tell them where to go, since the systems in that place seemed to be complex. They crawled forward in relative silence for a while, just focused on not getting lost, before Kate noticed that Peter was starting to slow a bit, almost hesitating.

"Is it just me, or are there a lot more vents in here than there was in the schematics?" Peter asked quietly as he wedged his shoulders around a corner. "Or nerves. It could be nerves. I suppose."

"It's not just you," Kate muttered as she closed her eyes for a moment to 'see' the schematics in her mind's eye. "Maybe... they just… they're cold-blooded evil dudes. They just want to be cold. Need the extra air conditioning. That's it."

"Could be," he agreed as he stared down a dark passageway. "Or - it could be that there is a secret section in here." He scooted slightly to the side so Kate could see what he was looking at before he continued, "One that isn't on the blueprints and is designated as such by pressure panels and lasers in the vents. Which... I can disable the lasers … and I can wall crawl over the plates — but … can you get by them too?"

Kate thought about it for a second. "If they're in the floor. I can use my hands and feet on the walls or something? Got some pretty decent upper arm strength, you know. Archer."

"Yeah, but I can web you something, just to be sure you don't slip," Peter decided. "I'd rather not leave you behind if I can help it. I'm probably going to need a Hawkeye anyhow."

"Yeah, I'd rather not get left behind either," Kate agreed. "Web me up, web-head."

He nodded, and when they got to a section that looked questionable, he had her hold her hands up for him to web up. "Should be sticky enough to get you over it. If not…. Well … I'll be watching from the other side to net you so … no pressure plate triggering please."

"I will do my very best," she promised him, resisting the urge to rub her fingers together. The webbing felt _weird_ on her hands, and she couldn't help but make the slightest of faces at the sensation.

"Yeah — I know. It's a little creepy," Peter said with a shrug.

"It's not creepy," she assured him, smiling slightly. "Just feels different. And, you know. Hands. Archer. Can't help it but be a little off when you mess with those."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry," Pete replied. "But the good news is if we find either of them down here, we definitely are not coming back with them through the vents."

"True." She pressed her hands experimentally against the side of the vents and nodded when she lifted herself a few inches off the ground, testing her weight. "But it works," she said. "So — that's something. No pressure plate triggering today, thanks."

They'd zig zagged down four different corners, unmarked from the maps that they had to study off of before the radio came in from Clint and Natasha. "We found Kurt, he's looking rough," Natasha said low, and Kate bit down hard to not let out a very obvious sigh of relief at that.

For just a second, Kate felt _really_ awful, because she wished she'd gone with Nat and not Peter, and now was _not the time to be selfish_ , and then she just let out all her breath. "But — he's alive. And you can get him out. Right?" she asked, and yeah, she didn't sound very professional, but she had _tried._

"He's alive. We can get him out - but he's got an inhibitor collar on. I'm not sure how to get it off, and it doesn't look like the ones that Henry had," Natasha replied. "He'll be fine — we just need to get rid of that collar and patch him up once we get back." She paused for a moment before she asked, "Do you think you'll need backup?"

"Little more security than I was anticipating," Peter replied quietly. "But - should be good. I think."

"We'll be fine," Kate said quickly, and at a bit of a higher pitch than she usually spoke with. "Just — get him out. Please."

"Of course," Natasha said in a soothing tone. "But don't hesitate to call if you need to."

"We'll be fine," Kate said again. "We'll find Wolverine, and we'll make such a mess they'll all have arrows and webbings in places they didn't even know they had places if they try and stop us."

They'd kept moving through the vents as Natasha and Kate talked, and when Kate was finishing her thought, Peter rested his hand on her wrist and tipped his head to the vent. "Are we still fine?" he asked as he moved aside for her to see what he could. "Because he doesn't look too good, Hawkeye."

Kate peered through the grate and frowned at what she was seeing. She'd never seen Logan like this before, and she'd seen him cut open by Sinister. This? He was just… down. Bleeding and worn out and flitting in and out of consciousness despite his best efforts, and - that collar must have been stopping him from healing because _wow that's a lot of blood loss._

"Laser tripwires," Peter muttered to himself. "Motion sensors outside the cage, I'm sure."

Kate swore under her breath and just shook her head for a second before she turned his way. "I brought some of Clint's stupid trick arrows — there's a grappling one. Maybe... if we can get you close enough, we can use the rope compressed in there, get him something to hold onto..."

Peter looked through the grate and then just pulled off his mask to get a better look, squinting through the grates as he looked closer at the triggers. "You know - that might work - but I don't think we're getting out of this without setting something off. So — it's going to have to be a matter of timing. I'm just looking at escape routes."

"I brought some explosives if we need to make new escape options," Kate said thoughtfully. "I've also got some acid for extreme lockpicking… But we could also bring him back this way if we need to."

"No offense, but the last thing I want to do is drag his butt through the vents. If he'd even _fit._ " He paused for a moment as he looked down at his caged friend. "If we can keep Logan awake, he can cut through anything that gets in our way," Peter pointed out as he prepared to pull his mask back on, apparently having seen what he wanted. "It's just if we _can't_ keep him awake ... "

"Yeah, I hear you," she agreed quietly.

"Okay," Peter said as he let out a breath. "I'm going to disable the triggers here, crawl across the ceiling and do the same at the door, see if I can override the laser system on the floor. Can you hang tight and try to get him to get his funky butt up?"

"Do you want me to shout insults in a waily ghost voice, because I'm not shooting him until he can heal again, and that's actually a very good alarm clock on most days." Kate shot Peter a little smirk despite the seriousness of the situation.

"As entertaining as that might be? No, just... talk to him," Peter said as he fiddled with the triggers at the vent. "He's usually a really light sleeper. Like... creepy light sleeper." Peter shook his head with a little laugh. "You know — he used to sleep with his eyes open at the Avengers tower?"

"That — doesn't surprise me," Kate said.

"He said it wasn't a problem because of the healing — any damage he did to himself healed pretty much instantly anyhow so... well. It was creepy. So he got a bucket of water on the couch."

"And how long were you hiding from him after said bucket of water?" she teased.

"Um … that's not really the relevant part of the story?" Peter said with a little frown as he crawled out of the vent and onto the ceiling. "But you know — I did hide for a little while. After I swung far enough away that he had trouble tracking me."

Kate just chuckled to herself before she settled in, bow in hand, and watched as Peter crawled across the ceiling and halfway down the wall the door to outside was attached to, all the while trying to capture Logan's attention. No matter what she said or did though, he rarely kept his eyes open for more than a second or two, and he absolutely wasn't focused on anything or anyone. Not when she tried to tell him they'd found Kurt — which she thought he'd be at least relieved to hear — and not when she tried to tell him about the most recent Clint-is-stupid, not when she joked about the bamfs trying to steal her _best_ hat… _nothing._

With a muted click, the power dimmed in the cell for a second, and all at once, Peter muttered out an 'oops' and just dropped to his feet, hustling over to the door of the cage Logan was in. "Come on, Hawkeye — we're moving _now_." Peter started to fiddle with the lock before he let out a frustrated noise and just yanked the door right off the hinges and rushed in.

"Come on, big guy, time to get up if you can," Peter said as he got down next to him and tried every trick in the book before he just paused, his fingers pressed against Logan's neck. "Okay. We should just … grab and go." He looked up at Kate as he maneuvered Logan around to pick him up in a fireman's lift. "Can you get the door, dear? I'm afraid my hands are full."

Kate slid out of the vent and ran to the nearest exit to pull it open and made a sweeping bow. "Of course, sweetie," she said before she fitted a couple of arrows and peeked around the door to see if the coast was clear — and several inches of steel slammed down just right in front of her face, nearly taking her nose with it. "Just kidding. Let's go.." She let out a sigh when she saw the vents were similarly blocked. "Okay. Now they're just ticking me off." She let fly the explosive arrows into the steel, which dented it but didn't break through.

"Okay, wait, wait," Peter said, setting Logan down. "Maybe ... maybe I can just … you know." he stood partway across the room and anchored himself before he threw out a pair of webs and tried to just force the door open — a clear attempt to tear it from the hinges like he'd done with the cell door, but it didn't budge. "Alright this sucks. Um … help? Mama spider?"

"That's definitely not my call sign," came Natasha's slightly amused response over the comms after only a moment of silence. "Do you need backup?"

"That — is a fine question," Peter replied. "We are currently in an unmarked location behind what appears to be what — three? Four-inch thick steel door that's locked down tighter than Fort Knox?"

"Did you get to Wolverine _before_ you reached Fort Knox?" Clint asked, and they could hear the distinct sound of a splodey arrow going off in the background.

"Yes. YES. We have him — but he's not... he's out," Peter said. "We can't wake him up, and to be honest, his pulse is really weak."

"Hawkeye, you try the splodey arrows?" Clint asked.

"They made a very loud ash mark," Kate replied.

"Can you see a latch from your side of the door?" Natasha asked.

"Yes," Kate said when she spotted it. "Please tell me that means you have a plan."

"Should be no trouble," Natasha said calmly. "Spiderman — make sure that Wolverine is within arm's reach of the door. Hawkeye, pick up his arm and make sure the back of his hand is flat with his forearm." She gave them a few moments to follow her instructions so far. "You with me so far, Hawkeye?"

"Absolutely," Kate said.

"Try to get him to make a fist," Natasha instructed "Then follow the ridge on his forearm to just before his elbow. You should feel a bump that seems like it shouldn't be there. Press it _hard_ — but make sure you're nowhere near his fist."

"If he wakes up during this I'm not going to live down the massage jokes," Kate muttered to Peter as she followed Natasha's instructions.

"I promise you — he won't make a single one," Natasha swore. "As soon as the claw is out, bend his fist downward to keep it from popping back in."

"Alright th— _hey_!" Kate let out a little cry of surprise when a single, middle claw popped out of Logan's fist. "That would be so _cool_ if we weren't trying to escape an evil government dungeon right now."

"Use the claw to cut through the tumblers in the lock," Natasha said with a smile in her voice. "Just jam it in there and you should break it all pretty quickly."

"Remind me to take more ladies' nights trips with you. You know all the cool things," Kate said as she and Peter were able to use Logan as their very own unconscious lock pick. "Thanks a mil." With that, she yanked on the now-unlocked door, and she and Peter ran through the unfamiliar hallways, both of them looking out for something that they could recognize from the Danger Room, since this was a totally separate wing, it seemed. If they could spot a hallway they recognized... then they wouldn't be quite so lost anymore.

"That's the best one to use with an unconscious Wolverine when you're trying to escape," Natasha confessed over the comms as they ran. "But I'll show you more next time you need it."

"And next time we need caramel gelato," Kate said with a little smirk.

Kate and Peter both had to laugh a bit as they could clearly hear Clint quietly in the background asking Natasha how the heck she knew _that_. Peter almost snorted to himself at that as they rushed experimentally down the halls until they found something that looked partly familiar.

"We need to get moving before the guards come out of the woodworks," Peter said. "So maybe if Mama Spider wants to come out to play — or … Hawk Guy — either or. A little cover might be nice. That's what I'm trying to say."

"That's still not my call sign," Natasha said, even though Kate could hear the little smile in her tone. "But I could never turn down an invitation to play." From the playful sort of laugh at the end of her sentence — Kate could just see the smirk on her face, the one that meant all sorts of trouble for whoever was stupid enough to come after her.

Spidey was leading the way with Logan draped over his shoulder when there was a fairly close explosion that had them dodging and ducking for cover. As they were pinned down, Kate pulled a face when she saw that the spot on Logan's hand where the claw they'd used earlier had continued to bleed long after the claw retracted. As it was, Logan was pretty bad off, but actively bleeding was probably not helping him either.

"Um... webbing? Will that stop bleeding?" Kate asked and Peter gave her an odd look.

"You're bleeding?" He sounded alarmed as he very clearly was looking to see where she'd been injured.

"No — _he_ is," Kate said, indicating … well, _Logan._ She shook her head. "He isn't healing."

"Crap," Peter said, setting him down once again to try and see what he was doing as he webbed his friend's hand together. "Hopefully that'll work," he said to Kate before turning to his comm.

"Can you guys get the collars off by chance? You know how to pick a lock, right .. um … _Other_ Hawkeye?"

"Working on that," Clint said with an exasperated sigh. "Safes? Locks? I can do. This — is more complicated than that."

Peter had picked up Logan's arm. "I wonder if we could just use his claw again. I've seen him cut collars off before," he said half under his breath. "You know. If it wouldn't like... accidentally cut his throat and just _kill_ him."

"We can try that," Kate said thoughtfully. "I've got steady hands, and we could pop the claw away from him first."

"I'd feel better if he was awake to consent to that one," Peter admitted. "I mean — he'll probably go along with it, but still. Those stupid things are crazy sharp."

"We'll keep that plan in the wings then," Kate said with a little nod as they rounded a corner and finally met the first sign of resistance — a few personnel who apparently had decided they _didn't_ want to try and take on the Black Widow... or else they were just assigned to stay there, but Kate liked the idea of them being the cowardly ones so they'd be easy to get through and also because honestly, everyone should have a proper fear and respect for Natasha.

The three of them slipped cautiously down the hall, and Kate couldn't decide if it was creepy or not that the two guys didn't seem to react much to their presence — right up until the three of them were within about twenty feet. And then it definitely was creepy, because the two guys seemed to change completely — one literally was encased in metal armor, while the other, while less metal-covered, was quicker and headed right for both the unconscious Logan and his rescuers.

Kate quickly fitted an arrow and fired it at the non-metal guy before he could get to Peter and Logan, then let out a bit of a yelp when the taller metal one rushed for them too. "What. The. Heck," she spit out, firing an arrow with each word.

"Omega Prime Sentinels," Peter replied as he shot webbing at the approaching threat, trying to web it to the floor and wall. "I heard about them? But this is the first time I've seen them."

"I don't like them," Kate said, frustrated when her arrows weren't making much of a dent in the armor. She didn't know their weak points, and that made it difficult to do much with just a stick and string, really.

"I can tell you firsthand — the X-Men _hate_ them. So that's just living up to your job qualifications." Peter switched cartridges and started the rapid fire routine again. "They're almost created specifically to screw with X-Men. They're innocent people — they don't even _know_ they've been turned into … this."

Kate gaped over at Peter for a second. "That's… just _wrong._ That's _so_ wrong."

"Yeah, well — imagine it from either angle: walking down the street minding your own business and you either just... get jumped by one of these guys or you just transform? Creep factor through the roof." The sentinel had finally found itself unable to move after Peter had emptied an entire two cartridges on it and they could pass it by, though even at a dead run, Kate felt as if she should skirt away from it a bit and Peter gave a serious shiver just before he did the same.

"Creepiest darn things ever," Peter muttered to himself. "So glad I'm not a mutant."

"Makes it easier to get rid of the guys pulling stuff like this when we aren't on their radar detectors," Kate agreed, pulling a bit of a face and trying to stifle her own shivers.

They knew they were getting close to the other two when they heard the muffled sounds of some shouting just beyond their position, and as they rounded the corner, they were just in time to see Natasha with her Widow's Bites charged as she was more or less sitting on a guard's shoulders to electrocute him. When he crumpled beneath her, she twisted away from him and looked up to see the other three standing there. "Playtime is over, then," she said simply as she straightened up and motioned for them to follow her out.

"Thank you, Mama Spider," Peter said with a grin under his mask.

Natasha just shot him a look that barely masked her smirk before the four of them rounded the next corner, following the halls as they'd practiced in the Danger Room.

"Are there any nasty surprises we didn't prep for?" Peter asked as he shifted his grip on Logan the slightest. "Outside of the whole secret wing they had for our midget?"

"There _were_ ," Natasha said simply. "And there are no longer any nasty surprises down our path."

Peter turned his head Kate's way. "Did I ever tell you that next to Cap, the Black Widow is my favorite Avenger?"

Kate put on a falsely serious expression and nodded several times. "Oh, yes. Many times," she said, unable to keep a straight face as she laughed at Natasha's little pleased smirk.

"No contest, really; us spiders have to stick together."

"If only Kate was that loyal to the name camaraderie," said Clint as they rounded the next corner to meet up with the last two members of their group. " _Her_ favorite was _Bucky_ for a while."

Kate rolled her eyes at him and stuck her tongue out before she made a beeline for Kurt and just started immediately fussing over him, brushing his curls back from his forehead and all but showering his face with little kisses despite his very quiet assurances that he would be fine. She steadfastly ignored the smirks she was getting from both Clint and Natasha, too, because that didn't matter as much as the fact that Kurt was there.

"Okay. So. You guys know these creeps won't attack until our genetically gifted friends get close, right?" Peter said after it was clear someone needed to speak up to get Kate to stop actively fussing and focus on the mission again. "So if we can keep away from any more that would be awesome."

"I'll scout ahead of us and try to redirect," Clint offered, looking Kate's way with a little smirk. "I think my exit buddy just got snatched up anyhow."

"Isn't Natasha your exit buddy?"

"Well she was my _entrance_ buddy. Was gonna try to get Nightcrawler out with me, but we ran into a few surprises." Clint gestured at his nearly empty quiver. "Took care of 'em, though."

"Well I've got about three hundred pounds of Wolverine if you want to trade," Peter offered.

"No, no. You assigned me the Widow, and the Widow is who I will stay with," Clint said with a little smirk. "Come on — let's make tracks so you can let the jet do the heavy lifting carrying your stabby burden."

"Lead the way, Hawkeye," Pete said as he adjusted Logan's weight. "You know the best route."

Clint grinned at him and gave him a jaunty sort of salute before he ran ahead of them, head swiveling in all directions to check for any more unwanted surprises — though it seemed for the most part that Natasha and Clint had cleared out what might have stood in their way.

Natasha had slipped into the rear of the group, presumably to watch their backs, but Peter could hear her muttering to Logan in quick Russian. He didn't know what she was saying, but the tone was unmistakable, considering it was nearly the same tone Kate was using as she worried over Kurt — nearly. Nat's was more like... Aunt May worrying when he got himself busted up and couldn't hide it. Kate's was more... well, breathless and half-crying relief.

They had finally reached the exit when Kurt had to pause to lean against one of the walls and just get his breath, and Kate was still muttering little encouragements to him and keeping a tight hold on his arm when she noticed just a flash of purple out of the corner of her gaze as Pete bundled Logan out the door. For just a second, she looked over to see a strange man with a black-and-purple uniform watching the five of them — but then Kurt had his wind back and she pushed that aside to focus just on getting him out and to safety, as Natasha jammed the door behind them and they made one final sprint for the jet.


	3. People Suck

**Robbie's notes: Ooh, glad to hear we had you on edge with the last chapter! I try to keep up with CC in her ability to do amazingly tense action scenes, and even though this universe is much more light-hearted than the usual Marvel fare, there's still some pretty crappy bad guys in it, as Kate is finding out ;)**

 **CC's notes:: griezz & Scruffy - so glad to see you here! Keep reading, keep commenting. We'll keep putting up the good schtuffs.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: People Suck**

Once the little group got to the jet, Peter got them in the air as everyone else gathered around the two X-Men who had been rescued. Natasha was still saying _something_ in Russian to Logan, while Clint had taken up his attempt to break through the collars again, which was going a little better this time with no forced breaks to shoot at guards.

And Kate was still fussing over Kurt, to absolutely no one's surprise. She was all but tucked into his side and ran her fingers lightly over a garish purple mark on his temple before she pressed gentle kisses there and just generally looked like she wanted to tuck him in and make sure no one ever looked at him sideways again.

"A- _ha_ ," Clint said at last, about half an hour later, when the collar finally came off Logan and he chucked it across the plane with relish. "Alright. Second time should be easier. But _that_ was some complicated workmanship, guys."

"That's because they try to improve the locks when we break out of them, _mein Freund_ ," Kurt pointed out. "And Storm is incredibly adept with the tiniest of lockpicks."

"Makes sense," Clint agreed, shaking his head with a little sigh before he twirled the small pick in his fingers and got up to cross over to Kurt. "Okay, bud. Your turn. Kate's gonna have to share with the other Hawkeye for twenty minutes."

While Clint was working on Kurt's collar, Natasha kept fussing over Logan and muttering quietly until he finally covered her hand with his and answered her right back in a slow, soft tone. She smiled outright and just gave him a solid hug before she let him rest, turning to Clint with a smirk. "Haven't you got that open yet? I thought you were quicker the second time out of the gate."

"I didn't realize I was on a half-life timer," Clint said out of the corner of his mouth, though nobody who was paying attention missed the fact that he worked that much faster at the prompting.

"Well now you know," Nat countered — clearly in better spirits.

"Good to know where the goalposts are," Clint said, but he was smiling wide at Natasha's antics. The teasing seemed to have spurred him on, and when just a few minutes later, he heard the little _click_ of a lock coming undone, he let out an obvious cry of satisfaction — and then a louder one of surprise as almost as soon as the collar was off, a little army of blue imps came popping in looking ready to fight. Half of them had swords drawn and the other half had pounding fists — and there was a low rumble of little growls that would probably have been intimidating if it wasn't for the fact that there was _no one to fight_ — and they quickly realized that when they saw who all was in the jet.

"Don't worry, guys," Kate said to the nearest couple of bamfs with a little subdued smile - once they were done berating her, of course. "We got him."

The little bamfs paused for a moment, looking between Kate and Kurt, before a few of them just poofed away, while the others turned their attention elsewhere. A couple of them bamfed over to Logan to sort of peer at him and poke at his face, another few climbed into the space between Kate and Kurt to demand hugs before leaving or to chatter at Kate to apparently tell her off for not including her in the rescue effort — as if she knew how to call them in the first place — and one of them approached Natasha with a look of guarded interest. When she looked its way, the little guy bared his teeth at her, and she did it right back - surprising him into a sort of giggle before he poofed closer and just started to watch her as she sat next to Logan and looked out for him.

Once they got back to the mansion, the group of rescuers and rescued X-Men were greeted at the hangar by the little group of Storm, Hank, and Jubilee. The three of them looked relieved to see Logan and Kurt coming out of the jet on their own steam, even if they were leaning on Nat and Kate respectively — neither of whom seemed to mind.

"I think you lost these," Clint said with a little grin Storm's way.

"They seem to wander, don't they?" Storm replied with a little twinkle in her eyes. "Lucky we have such good friends to help retrieve them."

"It was all Spidey," Clint said easily. "Good team leader."

"I'm sure it was," Storm answered with a real smile. She paused to watch Logan and Kurt carefully to be sure they were doing as well as they looked before she turned back to Clint and tipped her head to the side to ask him, "Are you staying for a moment, or do you have to run off?"

"Don't think Nat's going anywhere just yet, and she's my ride," Clint admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "But I won't impose…"

"Nonsense. Come in, eat, relax," she said, stepping forward to take him by the arm and pull him inside. "Remy made dinner."

"Oooh." Kate looked up excitedly from where she had been quietly running her hands over any bruises and bumps on Kurt and just generally playing the part of a worried girlfriend to a tee. "Now you've _got_ to stay, Clint. That's the _best_."

"Well, far be it from me to turn down a dinner invite from two lovely ladies," Clint joked. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged theatrically as he grinned over at Kate and added, "Might be nice to actually see Katie for more than five minutes outside of fighting too."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "What, you miss me?" she teased.

"I do, but Lucky clearly doesn't. I think you only stop by to say hi when you _know_ I'm gone and you can get the dog to yourself."

"No, I just have very good timing," Kate said, smirking.

"Hope Remy made plenty of food," Peter said, breaking into the Hawkeye banter with a sideways grin. "Because we've got a small army's worth of hungry just bringing Wolverine back here."

"You know he always makes too much," Storm replied. Her eyes were still sparkling, though she looked over Logan with a more careful expression in her gaze this time, and she let out a breath as she started to usher them toward the dining room more quickly — seeing as Logan clearly needed something to help with all the healing he'd had to do.

The group of them made their way upstairs and quickly fell into easy conversation that was helped along by the obvious relief of having everyone back after several days. By the time they joined the rest of the mansion residents for food, the intensity of a rescue mission was almost completely abandoned, if not for the fact that Natasha and Kate were still fairly attached to the two rescues.

Storm made a point to sit next to Clint and fuss over him to get him to eat enough, if nothing else to allow Natasha to do the same with Logan while they discussed... whatever quietly in Russian. And for the first time that Kate could remember, Logan was drinking water like a fish.

"I see how it is," Peter said with a fake expression of frustration as Storm insisted that Clint take second helpings. "I get it with those two," he added, sweeping one hand toward Logan and Kurt, "But just cuz Clint's an actual child… no love for the Spiderman. No one to fuss over my boo-boos." He was smirking to himself by the end of his pretended complaint like he couldn't quite keep a straight face.

Jubilee slid up close to him and bumped his shoulder with hers before hugging his arm and leaning her head on his shoulder just to look up at him with big, blue eyes. "I love you, Spidey," she said with a well-hidden smile.

"Well that's one fan," he replied with a snort.

"Yes, but I have very discerning tastes," she replied before the two of them met eyes and just burst out laughing.

"I'd kiss your boo-boos, Pete, but this one might get jealous," Kate teased as she tipped her head Kurt's way — unable to resist a chance to mess with him too, especially with Jubes, who she had only been getting closer to since she moved into the mansion and discovered they had very similar senses of humor.

"No way am I kissing your boo-boos," Jubilee told Peter with a decisive nod and a wave. "You are waaay too old for me, mister."

"Good thing I don't have that problem," Kate said almost before she could help it.

"I don't think the Elf ages the same as the rest of us," Jubilee said thoughtfully, her head tipped to the side as she grinned at the two of them. "He hasn't gotten any older in as long as I've known him."

"That, my dear Jubilee, is a terrible lie," Kurt countered, and Kate just smiled and couldn't help but snuggle into his arm a bit when she heard how much better he sounded for having eaten a good meal and having ditched the collar. He was beaming at Jubilee as he added, "Just from knowing you, I've gotten more wrinkles and grey hairs than what is considered acceptable."

"What grey hairs?" Kate asked with a teasing smile. "I haven't seen any."

"Ooooh, is that your natural blue?" Jubilee teased. "Or are you dying them?"

Kurt let out a dry chuckle of disbelief. "I'm... going to go grab a beer. You two are terrible."

Jubilee leaned forward before Kurt had even stood up. "Did we chase him off? We chased him off," she said at a stage whisper. "I can't believe a couple of younger girls chased him off." She looked right at him and raised her voice to an obviously obnoxious level as he stepped away from them. "I thought you liked it when girls our age got flirty with you? I wanna know where your grays are. Especially if you're saying I gave them to you. Where are they?"

He shook his head at her and pointed between her and Kate. "You two are horrible influences on each other. You do remember there are children here, _ja_?"

"Are you going to ground me?" Jubilee replied with her head tipped to one side, clearly only spurred on by his comments. "Spanking is illegal right?"

"I... am going to go check on Logan while I'm gone," Kurt said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "You two feel free to carry on in my absence. You don't seem to need me."

"But it's no fun if you're not here to get all … old man about it," Jubilee pointed out. "Or turn purple. I've become fond of purple as of late." She tipped her head toward Kate. "Her fault."

"My fault entirely," Kate agreed with a wide grin.

As Kurt walked away, shaking his head, Jubilee couldn't help but throw out one more very loud shot his way. "Kate!" she said loudly. "You didn't really BLOG his grays did you? To the whole of the Young Avengers and space and GOD and everyone? So brave."

Kate burst into laughter and wasn't able to respond as Kurt decided to forgo walking to get away from them and just bamfed away to grab the beer he needed to deal with those two in a mood like this. Which, of course, only got Kate laughing harder.

Jubes rolled her shoulder to her ear with a trouble making grin. "SO easy."

"Yes, but that's what makes him so darling," Kate said through giggles. She shook her head and tried to regain some semblance of control, though it took both of them a while to stop just shooting each other little grins and giggles. "He can be horrible if he wants to be," she added as Kurt returned with a beer in hand.

"Oh, I know." Jubilee was watching Kurt as he shot her a look, smirking and shaking his head as he sat next to Logan. "I just like to remind him I'm not a kid anymore, and it riles him. You think he'd have a higher tolerance for that kind of teasing with Wolvie as a best friend."

"Well, he does — but add in age jokes, and I think it bothers him more," Kate giggled. She leaned in close to Jubes and added in a whisper, "Don't let him know — but he can be _vain_ sometimes. Little blue prince."

"You noticed?" Jubes said, wide-eyed. "Imagine that. I thought you two just spent all your time … doing … things."

"You've been listening to the student gossip, haven't you?" Kate teased. "I flirted with him _one time_ while he was teaching a class…."

"Nope, teacher gossip," Jubes replied cheerfully. "But I did hear about that. Strict Elf. FUN. Did you get a spanking for that?"

"You're horrible," Kate laughed. "No — I got the Disapproving Elf Look for _forever_. Which is _so_ not fun."

She let out a low whistle. "No. That is like … yeah. No. That is just awful. I hope you gave it back to him. Or at least went through a two-week period of short shorts and miniskirts just to be a pain."

"I might have worn his shirts around the room for several days…" Kate grinned at Jubilee. "But do keep giving me ideas. I like your style." She leaned back in her chair and just laughed for a moment. "Nice to have someone like you around in the X-Place," she admitted. "Feels like I fit in better with a friend like you."

Jubilee rested her head on her palm as she smiled back at her. "I wish you'd been here _years ago_ ," she agreed. "Of course, if you had been — you probably wouldn't be dating Professor Elf - which I am totally changing the thing on his office to that tomorrow - and you would have been here for all the awful. And just — ugh. I'm glad you're here _now._ "

"Well that entire thing went full circle on you," Kate teased. She let a bit of the smile slip, though, as she shrugged. "But… I have to admit, I'm glad I wasn't here for some of the stuff you guys've dealt with. I mean…" She glanced over at Kurt and Logan. "I've never seen them _both_ laid up like that."

Jubilee got serious and let out a long breath. "We've had a lot worse," she admitted. "Times when the whole team was down and it was up to the kids to pull their chestnuts out of the fire ... times that the entire mansion has been levelled … Nothing like a bunch of homeless boarding school students. The thing with Frosty when the school split from the X-Men … it's been wild."

Kate was quiet for a moment, her gaze on Jubilee before it slipped down toward Jubilee's hands. "Yeah. I… I'm not prying. But I have noticed you guys carry around some... scars," she said softly, second-guessing even bringing it up as the words were leaving her lips. "And not the usual I've-been-shot-by-Hydra kind I'm used to seeing."

"Well," Jubilee said with an easy shrug. "Comes with the job description, I guess. And the whole 'mutant' thing too."

"It should _only_ come with the job description," Kate said, frowning deeper. "There shouldn't be... people shouldn't…"

"I know. But there are, and they do," Jubilee replied, the little smirk still in place. But when Kate just seemed more shocked by how easy her response was, Jubilee changed her tactics and drew in a deep breath. "Okay, I get it. You're not used to this. It happens, though. Less than a thousand in the world and still — it happens." She extended her hands, sure those were the scars that Kate was referring to.

"These were not visible when I was a vampire. Not to you anyhow," she told her. She took a deep, steadying breath for a second before she slowly and carefully told the abbreviated version of what had happened. "But... this… was when I was seventeen. Still in school. All the mutants in our boarding school run by the _fabulous_ Emma Frost and Sean Cassidy ... were captured, things happened … we were crucified right out there on the front lawn … and still … no one cared. No news crews. No outrage. Lost one of my closest friends that day, but ... we couldn't even go to a hospital. Lucky we have Beastie and a boat load of Shi'ar tech or we all would have died. People suck."

Kate stared for a moment, open-mouthed. "No one … that's not in any newspapers or … I never even _heard_ about something like… They did _that_ and _no one cared_?" She leaned back in her chair with her arms pressed against the side of the table and her head tilted up at the ceiling before she took in a deep breath. "People _suck_."

"The guy in charge — the one that strung us up ... and did other things … he's the one that killed Kurt," Jubilee said. "Horrible, horrible guy. Terrible fashion sense too — not that it really matters.

"Is he still around?" Kate asked with a little frown. "Because if he is, I am going to use every single one of Clint's trick arrows in increasingly creative ways on him." She shook her head and muttered "killed Kurt" under her breath as she did so.

"Um — that … is a prime question, my friend," Jubilee answered. "He hasn't shown up on any official channels, but he's a cyborg, so he might not? Big ugly dude. Really dark gray uniform with a purple triangle over his chest and shoulders. I really think he was like — self conscious about being too narrow across the shoulders. Why else would you wear something to look bigger through there? I mean — Logan's tiger stripes kind of — like — minimize how broad he looks. You know?"

Kate for once didn't rise to the fashion bait and just stared very quietly at Jubilee. "Purple triangle?" she finally managed to ask after a long moment.

"Oh," Jubes said and shook her head. "It's a really ugly purple though. Not like yours at _all._ "

"No that's…" Kate shook her head, leaned forward, and put her hand on Jubes' arm. "Does he have this stupid, slicked-back white hair and this _look_ like you just … ran over his puppy and he's _happy_ about it? Because I think I might have seen him if that's the case."

"Oh, crap," Jubes said, looking a bit pale. "Where — it wasn't at the … it wasn't where the guys were, was it?" She looked genuinely worried, and she was barely speaking at over a whisper.

Kate nodded very softly. "Spotted him just as we were leaving. Just ... glaring at us. I guess he was too far away to stop us leaving, but…" She shuddered. "Five seconds of eye contact, and I got the _worst_ creeps. I can't imagine having to actually _deal_ with him."

"I wonder if the guys know," Jubes said before she glanced up at Kurt and Logan. On seeing the look on Logan's face, she pulled a grimace. "Well. Probably not before, but we weren't quiet enough for one of 'em to miss that little talk." She gave Kate an apologetic look. "You are about to get twenty questions. Probably. I'm sorry."

Kate looked over her shoulder at Logan and just let out her breath. "Is it inappropriate for me to say this is the first time I've been annoyed at my superior eyesight?" she asked, trying for a light joke.

But before Jubes could answer, both Kurt and Logan dropped into the seats next to Kate, both of them looking flat-out ticked off. "Tell me what you saw," Logan said flatly. When she turned to Kurt, he looked every bit as serious as Logan did.

"There's not much to tell," she told them both frankly, puffing out her breath from her cheeks. "We were on our way out the door — I mean, literally, the door was open. And I just happened to see some purple, so I looked up, and there was this creep standing in the catwalks and glaring at all of us like we'd personally insulted his grandmother. But that's it — he just glared, and then we left."

Logan just watched her for a moment before he just stood up and started to walk toward the elevators. "See you in a few days."

"You're not going after him alone," Kurt said, in a tone that was half question and half demand.

"I'm sure as hell not taking _you_ with me," Logan shot back.

Kurt drew his eyebrows and shoulders up. "And why not?" he shot back.

"Come on, Elf! The last damn time you crossed that jackass, you died — you're staying here." Logan looked him up and down quickly. "You're not even healed up yet."

"All the more reason for me to come with you," Kurt insisted. "I have just as much reason to go after him — maybe _moreso_."

"I'm not gonna stand by and watch you die _again._ "

"And I should tell you the same thing!" Kurt half-shouted. "I won't do it, Logan."

With that, Storm stepped in between the two of them and rested a hand on both of their chests. "All the more reason to wait, heal," she said pointedly to Kurt. "And regroup." She pushed both of them back half a step. "No one is going anywhere right now." She was glaring at Logan for the last part until both men eased off. "We will get full intel on Bastion and what he's up to now before we go and wipe him from the face of the earth. _All_ of us."

For a moment, both men looked like they might argue, but Storm's expression left absolutely no room for anything like an _attempt_ to disagree, so very slowly, they both nodded, though Kurt held a seriously suspicious expression as he watched Logan — sure that he was going to try something without him.

'If you really want to do something," Kate said in a quiet tone to Logan, trying to sound conciliatory, "maybe you can run me through some training? I've never fought this guy — I could use tips."

He glared her way and then at Kurt for a moment. "I don't like the idea of her going after him," Logan said to Kurt.

"Honestly, neither do I," Kurt said, shaking his head the slightest bit as he glanced over at Kate, who looked annoyed at being talked _about_ and not _to._ Still, he recognized the look she was getting — crossed arms and a single raised eyebrow that said she was going to get her way with or without him, and he sighed. "But if she'll insist - and you know she will - I'd feel better if you at least taught her _some_ tricks."

Logan let out a sigh and ran his hand over his face, scrubbing his palm over his eyes before he looked back at Kate. "You just want tricks or a full tune up?"

"Run me through the gauntlet if it'll help fight this guy," Kate said without hesitation. "He killed Kurt. I wasn't there, but — that pisses me off."

Logan looked back to Kurt. "Sim or no sim to start?"

Kurt considered his answer for a long moment before he let out a sigh. "If she believes she is ready, then you might as well let her prove herself in a sim," he said carefully, with a glance Kate's way. "So she can see what she is up against."

Logan nodded his head slowly, his eyes on Kate. "Okay," he said quietly, clearly thinking it through. "I think I have the right one in mind."

Jubilee nudged Kate with her elbow. "That … is a very scary look on him. You don't know it yet … but that … is not good."

Kate just looked at Jubilee for a moment and tilted her head to one side. "If I can't keep up, I might as well quit," she said frankly. "And that's not happening, so I'm _going_ to learn how to fight this guy so I can help."

"Well, let me tell you a trick," Jubilee said, putting her arm around Kate's shoulders and leading her away from the guys. "Whatever horrible thing he comes up with? Don't. Ever. Quit."

"That's my motto," Kate assured her.

"Well, keep that in mind. I've been in his head. It is a dark and scary place."

For a moment, Kate nodded seriously, and then she broke into a little smile. "I don't know. I've seen Clint's laundry. Nothing's darker and scarier than that."

"As scary as Clint's underoos must be - I'm talking about Logan's freakin' mind. Weapon X ... God only knows how many wars ... murders, mutilations ... death camps ... believe me — you don't want to compare to that, and if you can find something worse, then I am afraid for you."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Jubes," Kate said dryly.

"Any time! Have fun with my adoptive dad!" Jubes said with a little wave. "I may or may not watch from the control booth."

Kate let out a little groan. "It's like shooting with Ronin all over again," she joked. "I had a friend over my shoulder then too — witness to me being _way_ out of my league. Again. As always." She shrugged lightly. "But I like it that way, let's be real."

"Well if it makes you feel any better? Logan won't try to embarrass you. He doesn't care about that."

"Not for something like this anyway," Kate agreed. "But take Kurt to Clint's place for the first time… I'm never going to forgive him for that, you know."

"He won't ever embarrass you in training. Personal life?" She shrugged. "Sorry."

"It would be easier if he could _get_ embarrassed. Because I can give it back — but he doesn't _care_ ," Kate said, shaking her head with frustration. "How have you _lived_ with him for so long?"

"I'm immune," Jubes told her. "I saved his butt when we first met and … he takes care of me because of it."

"Share with me some of your magic," Kate teased and nudged Jubes in the shoulder.

"Just have to be a scrawny little mall rat and drag his heavy butt out of the desert when he's about to croak and put up with him for _days_ while he's all — hallucinating and stabby. Nothing to it really," Jubes said with a smirk.

"Easy as pie," Kate agreed. They stopped outside the door to Kurt's room and Kate gave her friend a warm hug. "See you tomorrow in the control booth, then. I'm going to catch some z's before then," she said before she slipped inside the room, closed the door, and let the joking smile slip as she crawled under the blue covers and tried not to think about what a "dark and scary mind" would bring up for her the next day.


	4. I Hate You So Much, Wolverine

**Notes from robbie: So glad to hear that everyone is still enjoying this and that the slightly more intense tone is working for y'all ;) It turns out we can only go for so long without letting at least a little bit of evil out. Oops!**

 **Also, sorry that this website isn't posting the reviews publicly. No idea what's up with that, and hopefully they fix it soon. But in the meantime, we HAVE gotten emails with your wonderful and supportive words, so THANK YOU for that and please keep doing that, because it makes us feel REALLY GREAT :D**

 **O - yeah, we let the evil out just a little bit. As you well know, it's like a twitch with us ;) And griezz, oh just you wait. Just you wait and see, because poor Kate is stuck with Logan training now *cackles with glee***

 **Welcome to this fic, GeekyComicBookGuy, and thanks for the review. Gotta say, we're enjoying the grownup versions of our kids more than the teenage versions too. Kate especially is more fun for me when she's already got a few years of superheroing under her belt, even if she's still relatively young on the scene ;)**

 **And JD, I can only credit the fact that there are two of us on this story for how everyone's able to shine. CC and I are very good at different characters, so between the two of us, we seem to be able to cover most of the cast ;)**

 **Hope you guys continue to enjoy… and that this website fixes their weirdness soon ;)**

 **Notes from CC: Yes. Yes to all of that. Tickled that you're all here for the fun, the reviews are excellent as always, and well… let's carry on with the monkey wrenches!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: I Hate You So Much, Wolverine**

When Kurt had finished talking with Logan and the others — and had seen off both Natasha and Clint — he slipped into the room late that night and had to smirk a bit when he saw that Kate was steadfastly pretending to be asleep. He could tell that she wasn't _actually_ asleep, because if she was, then her arms and legs would be splayed every which way, and he would have to fight her to get a space to sleep — though once he did have that space, she was quite the cuddler.

He slipped under the covers next to her and slipped an arm over her waist, pulling her into him so that he could nuzzle into her neck. "Is there something on your mind, _liebling_?" he asked quietly.

Kate didn't say anything for a while, and Kurt just waited, the rise and fall of her back against his chest the only thing that told him when she was ready to speak as she took a deep breath. "I was just… thinking. About all the things I didn't even _know_ because I'm not a mutant," she admitted at last. "Jubilee told me about her scars."

"Ah," Kurt said with a deep frown. "It's best not to dwell on the evils that people are capable of, my dear, when they are capable of so much good as well," he advised, reaching up with one hand to play with her hair and brush it back out of her face as she wriggled slightly so that she was lying on her back to look up at him.

Kate looked up at him for a long time before she pulled him by the back of the neck to kiss her. When the kiss broke, she let out a long sigh, her hand still resting on the back of his neck to keep him close. "I just want you safe," she whispered against his lips before she pressed another kiss there, very gently.

"I am," he promised, his forehead resting against hers for a moment as he could feel her breath on his cheek. "And for those times I am not, I have you — I have the X-Men, and the rest of our other friends. Just like you do."

"No, I mean…" She paused, obviously trying to find the words, and for a moment, she simply kissed him again before she pulled back the slightest bit so she could see his face again. "I had _zero_ experience with just about everything I fought today. And if I'd screwed up…" She let her fingers trail across his cheek and then down over his jaw to his neck, where she paused, winced, and closed her eyes. "I just need to know I can do this. And I'm not going to stop until I can."

"No one is asking that of you," Kurt said softly as he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

"No one asked me to be a superhero, either," she shot back, pulling back a bit more so he could properly see the look of pure determination. "Please, Kurt. This is what I do. This is what I've _always_ done. If I left superheroing to people who were stronger, or faster, or smarter, or whatever — I'd be on a yacht somewhere with my sister probably ignoring reality itself." She traced the line of his jaw with the tips of her fingers. "Well… That's not quite true. I've never been able to ignore people. But still. You know what I mean."

"I never said you weren't capable," Kurt said. He leaned forward to steal another kiss, this time pulling her up a bit to meet him, but she pulled back once more, shaking her head.

"You kind of did," she pointed out, something like fire in her gaze. "Trying to keep me out of it. You and Wolverine both."

He sighed and shook his head at her, his tail wrapping slowly around one of her legs and betraying the sterner expression he was trying to give her. "You really want to fight this man after everything Jubilee told you?" Kurt asked with one eyebrow raised.

"I don't _want_ to," Kate admitted, and for that, at least, Kurt was glad — there was some semblance of sanity, then. "But if I opted out of all the fights that I didn't _want_ to go to, I wouldn't be a hero." She sighed and leaned up slightly to kiss just the tip of his nose. "I can't stop working harder or practicing or staying sharp. Ever. That's how I can keep up with you — and everyone else, for that matter," she explained.

He fixed her with the full force of a teasing smile. "The world is a heavy burden for just one young woman."

"I'll share," she said with a shrug. "But I want to help hold it up."

"You do more than help," he assured her before he kissed her properly, a long, lingering kiss that tugged at the edge of her lips when it broke, and when he saw that she was smiling again, he had to grin, his tail wrapping tighter as he kissed her again, this time even longer as he traced the pattern of her nightshirt with one hand. "Was that all that was on your mind, my dear?" he asked in a low whisper in her ear when the kiss broke and he found her just smirking at him. "I somehow doubt you are so quiet because you had a crisis of confidence. That doesn't sound like you."

"No," she agreed with a little smile, the first spark of some new adventure in her gaze — and not the usual kind, either. "I was thinking about other things too."

"Like what?" he asked, an impish grin and a spark of his own in his expression, though admittedly a more recognizable one.

But she looked up to meet his gaze for only a moment before she all but melted into a soft laugh and gently traced the edge of his jaw just below his ear. "Later," she said with an impish grin as she pulled him down to kiss her.

"Alright, Kate," Logan said over the comm as she took her spot in the center of the Danger Room. "I don't know if you had a chance to play with the LMD's at SHIELD — but this is _nothing_ like that." He fiddled with the controls in the booth for a moment before looking over to Kurt. "Are you sure she should be doing this?"

"I think if you turn her away now, she will find some other way," Kurt said honestly, remembering the conversation they had the previous night.

Logan nodded his head and turned back to the comm for Kate. "The sims of buildings are one thing — I'm gonna turn you loose on the hard-light holograms today. They'll react more or less just like people, and they can hit just like people too."

Kate shifted her weight back and forth on her feet and shook out her heads in a playful show of readiness. "Bring it on," she called back up. She had been looking forward to tackling this for ages now. Different — or difficult — as the training might be, she _loved_ learning something new.

Logan let out a breath and hit the switch that flipped all the lights off in the room Kate was standing in. A few seconds later, the only light visible was that of a few far off police cars — red and blue flashes. There was no ambient light, and once she started to move forward, she quickly realized that the ground was entirely uneven, and she had to be careful where she stepped or risk something horribly embarrassing like a twisted ankle _this_ early into the program. A light breeze brought the scent of burning wood her way from near the police cars.

She tried to be stealthy to start with, but without being able to see where she was putting her feet, or the way the terrain rolled, she ended up simply having to walk up to the light of the police cars, bow at the ready as she approached the source of the commotion. Halfway there, she nearly tripped over a section of brick lying in her path, and she paused to look at it, trying to figure out what the heck a whole chunk of a wall was doing in the middle of a field.

When she got within distance that she could hear what the police were saying, she had to just listen for just a moment to get an idea of what exactly she was looking at. Call it gathering intel… or creeping, but it was a good way to learn things.

"... glad to see the damn place gone, to be honest," one of the cops said to the other as she came up on the flames licking out of what she saw now had been a very large house.

"Maybe this time they won't rebuild. They lost enough of them this time around," the other cop replied.

Curious, Kate made her way closer until the blue and red lights illuminated her face. She looked around the smoldering embers and couldn't stop the little gasp as she clapped a hand to her mouth. She _recognized_ the kids from the class she'd interrupted to mess with Kurt. Two of them bloodied and trapped under part of a wall — another had made it out, it looked like, only to be shot, glassy eyes unseeing.

The mansion. The school. _That_ was where Logan had brought her.

"What happened here?" she asked as she stepped further into the light of the police cars.

Just that fast, the three cops standing in front of her had their guns drawn and were shouting at her to get on the ground, drop her weapons — the usual.

She had been expecting a warmer reception, since she actually had a pretty good repartee with the local cops just about everywhere she went, but she'd been through this a few times with Clint, the mistaken identity thing, so she carefully put her bow back over her shoulder and showed them her palms. "Hey. No problem here. I'm Hawkeye. You know — used to be an Avenger? Solo hero?"

"A codename? You think you belong here — with the rest of them?" One cop asked — and that was when Kate realized that the gun in his hand was shaking and his eyes were wide. "You a teacher or a student?"

"Neither," she told him, trying to use as soothing a tone as she could. "I just… I'm…" She paused, realizing she didn't really have a good word for what her role was other than 'teacher's girlfriend.'

"If you're not a teacher or a student — you have no business here," the second cop said — though not one of them made a move to lower their weapons or step closer. "Just — stay where you are until the authorities can come and get you."

Kate tried not to outwardly frown at that. Which authorities was he talking about? SHIELD? Homeland Security? "Not moving," she promised. "But — what happened here? Seriously. I used to be an Avenger. Maybe I can help."

"Last time someone used an excuse like that, half the town was on fire," the first cop spit out. "You stupid mutants and your little _wars._ "

"I know the uniforms are confusing but — not a mutant." Kate gestured down at herself. "Also, if the town is on fire? I'd call Bobby?" she pointed out, trying to keep the heat out of her voice.

"You on a first name basis with these freaks?"

"Yes?" Kate shrugged. "What part of 'used to be an Avenger' didn't you get?" She looked between them for a moment. "Seriously — I can help. Just tell me who's the bad guy here and—" She'd taken a slight step forward, and the sound of a shot absolutely shocked her as one of the policemen fired — and then very suddenly it was bright as the lights came up and the sim ended.

In the booth, Kurt let out a quick breath and shook his head as he watched Kate just very slowly fall into a hard glare.

"Well. How mad do you think she is right now?" Logan asked, turning to Kurt.

Kurt looked past his friend to where Kate was now turning red and pointedly kicking the ground as she muttered under her breath. "I expect shouting the moment you start talking to her," he said simply. "She might throw something, too."

"I was banking on getting shot. She's been asking to do it for fun anyhow," Logan admitted.

"As long as you're prepared," Kurt said, shaking his head with a little smirk. He looked beyond Logan again. "I think, though — she's more upset with herself than you."

Logan barked out a hollow laugh. "Yeah, well. We'll see." He leaned forward and pushed the button on the comm. "Come on up, Kate."

It took Kate no time at all to practically sprint up to them, and when she reached the two men, Kurt was right — she did throw her bow at Logan rather than shoot at him. "Run it again," she demanded through her teeth.

"Why? What are you gonna do? Shoot the cop?" Logan asked, totally relaxed as he leaned back in his chair. "Wait for the sentinels to drag you off and take six months to figure out you're not a mutant?"

"Just — let me try it again. I can talk them down. Or… sneak around them to investigate."

"No. You can't. You can't talk them down, and if you snuck around and they found you in the building — they'd shoot on sight," Logan reasoned. "There's only one way to win this one, and you haven't even considered the option."

"Let me run it again," she said again, her tone finally softening from demanding to half-pleading. "Please — I can figure it out. I know I can."

Logan turned to Kurt, and the two of them shared a look before Logan nodded once. "Okay. One more shot today."

Kate looked honestly surprised as she bent down to retrieve her bow, and then she broke into a bit of a smile. "Alright. Good," she said, nodding to herself. She paused on her way out the door again. "You're not gonna try and give me a list of all the things I did wrong?" she asked, only partly teasing.

"Nope. Not how I work the sims. How the hell're you gonna learn if I give you all the answers?" Logan pointed out.

"Well, I already like you better than my ballet instructor, then," she said before she slipped back out the door, still trying to figure out what she could have done better.

"Don't need the fuzz," she muttered as she readjusted her headband in her best impression of a 20's gangster. "I'll just — do this on my own. As _usual_." She pulled out her bow and kept it at the ready as the lights went down again and she found herself in the pitch darkness — though she wasn't sure if it helped her nerves any more _knowing_ where she was this time as she picked her way through the yard, this time headed _away_ from the police lights to see if she could pick up a trail on whoever had done this to the mansion.

She was halfway through stumbling toward the treeline when she had to pause and hit her palm against the side of her head. _Duh, Kate. You have a flashlight on your phone._ Use _your eyes. What kind of Hawkeye are you?_ She fished in her pocket for the phone and crouched low to the ground as she approached the treeline, looking for… well, she wasn't sure what, but she was sure there would be clues. Somewhere. Probably.

She was immediately glad for the flashlight, as it gave her a much better understanding of what had happened when the light glinted off of metal, and she recognized the armor of an Omega Sentinel like the one she and Spiderman had fought yesterday. She shined the light around some more and winced when she saw that there were a few of them, scattered through the trees. They were _people_ once, and now they were dead.

This must have been what leveled the mansion. She knew that it happened, sometimes, and Storm had even joked about it when they first met — how often they had to rebuild. But it gave her the serious creeps seeing all that damage, as the conversation she'd overheard with the cops replayed in her mind. They didn't care. Just like Jubilee had said.

"You think she's gonna get it this time?" Logan asked Kurt as they watched her creep carefully along her way.

Kurt shrugged. "She's at least headed the right way for now," he said with a little smirk. "Though how long you'll let her do that before you throw something awful at her I'm not sure."

"Good point," Logan agreed before he reached over and made a few adjustments that had the police notice the light she was using to navigate. Down below, they started shouting and running far behind Kate's path.

"Aw, crap," Kate muttered as she quickly pocketed her cell phone and looked around, trying to decide if hiding was the better option or just running — seeing as her last encounter hadn't gone all that well with these guys. She paused for only a second before she decided on hiding — so maybe she could overhear them, because creeping was always preferable to retreating… and then decided on the best hiding place.

She was already regretting the decision as she tried to shift the armored Sentinel so she could hide behind him, half tucked in and just — waiting. She was banking on the cops not looking too hard at the bodies either, since she certainly hadn't wanted to, and the metal more or less hid her from view.

Logan raised an eyebrow with a pleased little smirk. "Good thinking," he muttered mostly to himself. "We'll give her a pass on that one." He tweaked the controls just a hair, and as Kate held her breath, the cops passed her by, barely looking her way.

Kate waited until she couldn't hear them anymore before she climbed out of her hiding spot with a little shudder and a grimace. _So glad this is just a simulation,_ she thought to herself before she turned her attention back to her investigation, teeth worrying over her bottom lip as she wondered how she could search for clues when it was dark and the cops had noticed her phone.

But ... she had gotten much further than last time. So she had to be doing something right. So she just rolled her shoulder and tried to follow the path of dead Sentinels — more or less by stubbing her toe on them as she went inching through the woods.

"She's far enough out," Logan said. "Shouldn't hear you if you go." Kurt nodded his head and a moment later bamfed out of the control booth.

Away from the light of the fire and the police lights and even her phone, it took a while for Kate's eyes to adjust to the deep darkness, but she almost wished she hadn't as she made her way through the trees. The further out she got, the more she realized that not every body she saw belonged to a Sentinel.

She _recognized_ at least most of the ones she didn't outright know. The little girl who had brightly asked Kate if she and Kurt were married the first day she'd arrived at the school. The twin boys who had thought they could take her in a game of baseball. And _Bobby_.

She stopped short when she reached him, one hand over her mouth. _It's just a sim,_ she reminded herself, even though it just… looked so real. _Stupid Wolverine is trying to scare me off like a dumb kid. Well, not today, sir!_ She set her shoulders and stepped around Bobby and tried very hard not to think about the dryness in her throat. She'd really gotten to like Bobby since she moved into the mansion and considered him a friend, and she was pretty sure that was why Logan had picked him.

"So, you managed to get away from the police?" Kurt said quietly from near the water's edge — though he wasn't in plain sight. His voice drew her attention from her frown and her thoughts as she had to wonder how long he'd been there, considering she hadn't heard a bamf.

Kate looked around for the source of his voice, a relieved sort of smile on her face. "Despite the purple, I can be sneaky," she said in a low whisper. "Where are you, fuzzy elf?"

"You can't have your prize until you find me," Kurt teased lightly. "I can't just hand it over."

"Gonna play hide and seek with a Hawkeye? Alright." She extended her arms and cracked her fingers. "This'll be fun." She searched around the edges of the lake with a growing smile, then glanced at the lake itself. "If you want to go swimming, I need a suit," she said. "Please don't tell me you're in there, because I don't want to get wet right now. I have bad guys to fight today."

"Yes, but bad guys are afraid of water anyhow," Kurt teased. "Everyone knows that. They're like a bunch of kittens." She turned toward his voice only to hear the soft sound of a bamf. She stopped cold and just listened, waiting until he spoke again — his voice from a totally different direction now. "What's taking you so long, Kate? I thought you had hawk-eyes."

Kate turned toward the sound of his voice and started her search anew. "You should be more patient," she teased. "The anticipation's half the fun."

"Then you'll have to keep working for it, if that's half your fun," he countered. "We have all the time in the world. Logan left the simulation running — minus the bodies."

"Good, because _that_ is _not_ a fun hiding place. At all," Kate said and pulled a face.

"That was his favorite part, actually. You even got a compliment."

"And I missed it?" Kate shook her head in disbelief as she thought she saw the flicker of a tail and headed that way.

"I'll bear witness for you that it happened."

"Wonder what I have to do to get one in person." Kate chuckled as she peeked around one of the trees with a little smile and poked him in the side. "Tag. You're it."

He whipped around to look at her with a broad grin before he scooped her up and teleported her to the other side of the lake, where he had a bottle of wine waiting.

"Do you do this for everyone who completes a sim?" she teased. "Or just the pretty ones?"

He laughed at her. "Not every sim — not every pretty face… but a few," he teased right back.

"With a reputation like that, people are going to talk, Professor Wagner," she said as they sat down together and she leaned against him with a smile. "I mean — more than they already do."

"I've never been bothered too much by idle chatter," he replied before he leaned forward and stole a kiss. "Also, this is congratulations. You've earned the next simulation."

She raised both eyebrows. "Told you I could beat it if I tried again," she said with confidence dripping from every word, then paused and gave him a rueful grin. "But — for the record — tell me how I beat it? I didn't even find the bad guys!"

"Logan felt that you needed to learn that sometimes, the smartest way to handle things is to simply back off and wait," Kurt said. "Jubilee failed that simulation a dozen times before she gave up."

Kate tilted her head at him. "I wasn't… I didn't exactly _wait_. I was trying to investigate?"

"He didn't know your intention — only that you walked away from the danger," Kurt told her.

Kate considered it for a moment and then leaned forward and stole a kiss. "Accidental wins don't count," she said when the kiss broke, accentuating her point by poking him in the chest and shaking her head.

"Ah, but they do," Kurt said. "You walked away and kept yourself safe. It doesn't matter that you meant to find more trouble. Given enough time, you would have."

"What's that got to do with fighting Sentinels, anyway?" Kate asked, frowning the slightest bit.

"You can't always win, _liebling_ ," Kurt told her. "None of us can always win. We try to know when we can fight and when we must stay back."

She nodded thoughtfully and then pushed off his chest and got to her feet. "Save the congratulations for when I have a non-accidental win, then. I'm gonna beat this Logan training and then I'm going to kiss the daylights out of you — not necessarily in that order," she added with a teasing grin.

"You don't beat Logan training," Kurt tried to correct her. "It's more like a work in progress."

"Then I'll _progress_ enough to take on that creep with _my_ favorite color on his chest. And we'll call that a win," she insisted.

Kurt frowned at that and let out a sigh. "I'd really rather you kept your distance on that one," he told her.

She leaned down and planted a little kiss on his cheek. "That's the wonderful thing about dating an archer, sweetheart," she teased. "I can keep my distance _and_ come to the party."

"Funny, I thought the party was right here," Kurt countered with a smirk.

"The accidental victory celebration party," she said.

"No, the purposeful kissing and wine," he told her seriously. "But if you're not interested …" He shrugged.

"That…" She pointed her finger at him and then sighed, completely disarmed. "Is so unfair." She sat back down beside him and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Sneaky elf."

He smirked broadly and pulled her down further. "Worry about your training tomorrow. I still have healing to do, and you'll likely have the whole thing wrapped up inside a week the way you're going."

"It'll take me a month the way you're distracting me," she teased.

"Then I'll endeavor to acquire a secondary mutation to keep up with you," he said with a grin.

"Others have tried, my sweet little elf. All have failed," she muttered into his ear, the laughter obvious in her voice.

"I shall succeed," he promised. "Might even give you a run for your money once you get near my training level."

"You'll have to fight dirty," she replied low. "Once I get going — there's no stopping me. Just sit back and watch me run circles around all of you."

"Oh, my darling," he said before he tipped her all the way back for a kiss. "You have no idea how dirty I can play."

...

Logan was nowhere to be found the next morning at breakfast, which Jubilee assured Kate could only mean bad things once she got down to her training session with him.

"She's exaggerating," Peter promised. "A little." He paused and tipped his head to one side. "Okay. Maybe … maybe not. Good luck!" With that, he slipped out of the kitchen, leaving her to her thoughts. But for the time being, she chose to ignore what she had decided was a top shelf effort between him and Jubilee to throw her off her game.

She was doing pretty good after all, and she didn't need Spidey trying to wreck her good mood. So she just finished the rest of her coffee and headed down to training with her head high and the confidence simply pouring out of her every muscle.

"You taking just the bow?" Logan asked before Kate walked into the Danger Room.

"That's what I usually take," she pointed out, patting her quiver. "Though I have to admit, I had Kurt bamf me over to Clint's place to steal some of his _stupid_ arrows."

"Well, okay then," Logan said with a nod. "If you're sure that's all the party favors you're after."

She tipped her head at him as she considered him, now remembering what Jubilee had told her earlier about 'bad things' ahead. "I'm starting to get paranoid just looking at you," she said.

He just smirked at her with his eyes twinkling. "Then I'm doing my job right," he countered.

She rolled her eyes but paused and thought it over all the same. "Staves. I'll bring staves too."

"You know where the rack is," Logan called out without looking back at her as he headed up to start putting in the information he wanted for her first sim of the day.

"I'll grab some on my way," she said before she made her way down to the center of the Danger Room, performing the same sort of bounce back and forth to show she was ready as she had done yesterday.

As before, the lights dropped to next to nothing before they came back up slowly to reveal a city street, complete with cars driving up and down the road, parked along the sides — and lots and lots of people out and about town.

Kate had to smile to herself. This was a much more familiar setting. She did her best work with half a cup of coffee from her shop in her hand, because Clint had _horrible timing_ and always found trouble the second she'd paid for her coffee. Whatever was about to come out on the street, she was already looking around, counting passersby and civilians, sure that at least this sim would be one she was partway prepared for.

She even saw a coffee shop and was half tempted to go in when she saw that the shop next to it wasn't one of her usual stores but one that had a sign above it declaring in neon that it sold "all kinds of stupid purple crap."

"Someone is jealous of my sense of fashion," Kate said with a troublemaking grin.

"Just trying to make you feel at home with your dream strip mall," was the chuckled out response from the booth.

"Just for that, I'm buying you only purple things for all future Christmases," she threatened. "Until you stop being so jealous."

"Why don't you not worry about the shopping and get to work already?" Logan countered.

She just laughed and looked around the street, keeping an eye out for anything that looked out of the ordinary. But it really did just seem like a normal street where she and Billy might have gone on a shopping trip just last weekend.

She looked around but couldn't find what she was supposed to do until she saw a teenager that looked like he could have been a dead ringer for a young Cyclops. He paused and smiled kindly at a little pig-tailed girl who very suddenly morphed into a metal clad sentinel and flat out vaporized him before turning her sights on his slightly shorter, blonder brother.

"Oh _heck no_ ," Kate muttered under her breath as she ran toward the two of them, firing a smoke arrow that she was grudgingly glad she stole from Clint as she did so. Under the screen of smoke, she closed her hand around the younger teen's wrist and pulled him behind her. "C'mon. You've got to _move_!" she told him as she looked the sentinel's way and could only see the little girl in her mind's eye. But even as she pushed the blonde beyond her, she saw that the sentinel's attention was shifting, and she allowed herself to look at the rest of the civilian faces and not just their positions as it started to dawn on her just what Logan had done.

They were _all_ X-Men. She hadn't noticed before because they were so _young_. But this must have been what half or better of them looked like when they were kids.

"Alright. So — can't run them all out of dodge," Kate muttered under her breath as she pulled out her next arrow and twirled it in her fingers. "Gonna have to fight the cute little girl." She raised her voice so Logan could hear her from the booth. "I hate you so much, Wolverine."

"There's a support group, I'm sure," he replied dryly.

Kate sighed and fitted her arrow, then rethought it and switched it out for a different one. She nocked the putty arrow and pointed it at the little girl and tried not to notice that it took her way longer to even point the bow at the girl's feet than it had ever taken her to line up any other shot. She fired the putty arrow and stuck the tiny sentinel fast to the ground — it was way more putty than necessary and came up to the girl's knees, because it was more for _adult_ bad guys.

That ... had not been fun. In the least. Kate lowered her bow and shook her head _hard_ as she just could hardly even look at the little girl — and she was very glad that she didn't have just her usual quiver of sharp, pointy objects, much as it would pain her to admit it to Clint.

As the little sentinel girl dissolved into light — signaling to Kate that the evil little girl portion of the evening was over at least — she let out a sigh until the ground shook as a 40-foot tall robot appeared.

"Um. Okay. What is that?" Kate blurted out before she could stop herself, reaching back for an explosive arrow first and foremost because _wow that was big_.

"Say the word if you need back up," Logan called out calmly.

"No, no," she said quickly. "I'm gonna learn how to fight this thing. Don't need you to do it for me." She fired the explosive arrow and let out a frustrated sigh when it just left a large black blemish. _What is this thing_ made _of?_

The explosive arrow had caught the thing's attention, though — that and probably the fact that she was screaming at everyone to _run_ as if they needed the prompting while she just _stood in the street_ like a target. Clint was rubbing off on her, clearly.

She had just reached for another explosive arrow, thinking she could at least keep its attention while the street cleared when the thing shot _actual lasers_ out of its eyes, and she had to all but fling herself sideways to avoid getting hit, crashing into a table at an outside cafe as she did so. She swore under her breath and kicked the table aside as she scrambled to ready another arrow — and then stopped in surprise when the thing _talked_ to her… more or less.

"Cease and desist all attempts to protect the mutants," it said in a clearly mechanical voice. "Any further attempts to interfere will result in severe bodily harm."

"Yeah — _yours_ ," Kate shot back as she tried an acid arrow this time, but when she lined up the shot and took it, she had to dodge out of the way of the lasers again — and looked up to see that she was just leaving little marks — no exposed wiring, nothing important. The acid hadn't eaten through enough of the armor.

She was running through her list of options, trying to come up with something that would work against all that armor when she heard the high whine of a repulsor charging up, and just like that, she felt the impact right in the center of her chest, knocking the breath out of her with a loud _oof_ as she tumbled over backwards, tripping on the sidewalk to boot as she fell. She hadn't even gotten her breath back before the whole area of the sidewalk was in shadow, and she looked up just in time to see a large hand reaching down to just pick her up like a little toy soldier, arms pinned at her sides as she shouted her displeasure.

When the simulation died, Kate was surprised to find that the robot did not and that she was still caught up in its grasp. "Put me _down,_ you big metal _creep_!" she shouted as she tried to kick its hand.

A moment later, Kurt appeared on the robot's fist next to her head. "One moment," he told her. "We're used to the robot getting torn apart — we don't really make it open its hand." He grabbed her shoulders and bamfed her out of its grip, reappearing on the slick metal floor away from the robot. "We thought you'd break it, honestly." He was smirking at her as he released her.

Kate's entire face was flushed with humiliation as she just glared at anything but Kurt for a moment, unable to say anything except to just… be _annoyed_. And _humiliated_.

"Most people ask for help with the big ones," Logan pointed out from the booth. "You do know how to ask for help, right?"

"I don't need you to do it _for me_ ," she said through her teeth. "I don't want to watch someone else do it; I want to learn how to fight it for myself."

"Well sometimes that involves getting back up," Logan replied. "Like it or not. And for the record, I said _help_. Not getting someone else to do it for you."

She crossed both arms over her chest and glared up at the booth, face still flushed for just a moment, before she threw her head back with a long, loud groan. She couldn't even think of anything witty to say — and the worst part was she'd had an audience to her epic failure.

"Learn it while you're young," Logan told her.

She still couldn't even look at either of them for very long as she just gritted her teeth. "I _don't_ have a problem asking for help," she said sharply.

She didn't need the comm to hear him laughing when she could see it through the window of the control booth.

" _You're_ supposed to be _teaching_ me," she snapped. "So tell me about the giant robot of death!"

"You really want me to teach you?" Logan asked with a little smirk.

"If I didn't, I wouldn't stick around for you to _laugh at me_ some more," she said angrily, though she managed to stop short of stamping her foot.

"You got anything left in you now, or do you need the night off so we can start bright and early after half a pot of coffee?" he asked, watching her carefully.

"Why don't you come outta that booth and I'll show you how ready I am!"

He just grinned widely at her and nodded before he headed out of the booth.

"That — was what he was waiting for," Kurt told her before he gave her a quick kiss on the temple. "Good luck. I'll be in the booth."

"And you'll stay there too," Kate said with a frown. "Not gonna need rescuing this time."

When Logan got down to the room, he and Kurt shared a look before Kurt winked Kate's way and teleported out of there. "Okay, What do you want to do?" Logan asked. "Same sim, same sentinels — or do you just want to dive right into your evaluation?" He was lighting up a cigar and simply ignoring the color in her cheeks while she was building up steam again.

"I _want_ that sentinel over there in pieces, so tell me what to do to get him there, and I'll do it," she said, sweeping her arm out to point at the offending robot.

He slipped the lighter back into his pocket and nodded. "Good, come on," he said, walking toward the robot that was still frozen in place. "What kind of weapons you got on you?"

"Arrows and staves," she said. "Borrowed some trick arrows from Clint, too."

"Which trick arrows? The useful ones or the dumbass boomerangs?"

She had to snort at that. "It's _me_. Do you really think I brought anything that wasn't _useful_?" She gave him a look. "Putty arrows, explosives, acid, grappling, smoke. And the pointy kind, because I like vintage."

"Vintage?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Whatever." He pointed to the joints and told her his thoughts. "'Splodeys to take out whatever hydraulics you can manage to hit, or the optic lenses to stop it from seeing its path or using the lasers. Save the putty for the omegas, because honestly — that one worked out better than I had expected." He turned to look her over. "Staves are pretty much useless against robots unless they have an emp loaded in the ends, so don't bother trying. Other than that — ask for help _before_ it picks you up."

"Yeah, I got that last part pretty well hammered home," she said as she rolled her shoulders back and studied the robot. "Honestly, I was trying — with the acid — I was trying to _climb_ it," she explained.

"How the hell were you going to do that with _acid_?" Logan asked with a little frown.

"Make a hole, and shoot a normal arrow. Do that a couple times and throw in a grappling hook?"

"No. That'd take forever," he said with a shake of his head. "Metal's a good two inches thick."

"Yeah, I see that _now_ ," she said.

"Leave making holes to me," he told her.

"If you make me a staircase, I'll blow its head off with all the splodeys at once," she said. "That's what I was going for. Before I was so rudely manhandled."

"Nice thought," he said with a nod. "But if _I'm_ climbing it — I'm probably going to just cut the damn head off."

"Which is why I didn't ask you to," she said. "You'd do the whole thing yourself."

"In the field if you were in trouble? Yes. Absolutely. Here? Nope," He explained with a shake of his head. "Safety protocols in place — it'll stop before it can do you any permanent harm. I can sit back and just watch."

"Okay." She shook out her arms and looked his way. "I want to make a scrap pile. Let's fire it up." Logan nodded and looked up at the booth as he walked across the room, puffing away on his cigar with one hand on his hip while Kate prepped to fight again.

"I'll stay out of your way unless you want help," Logan promised.

"Fair enough," she agreed before she looked up at the robot. _Okay. Laser eyeballs first_ , she thought to herself as she bounced on her feet and pulled an arrow in preparation.

This time, when the simulation started up, there was none of the fanfare that she'd become used to seeing. Instead — the room went dark, the robot fired up. and to Kate's surprise — it targeted Logan.

"Very funny, Elf," Logan called out before Kurt's voice echoed over the room.

"Save the mutant Kate," Kurt said. "Unless he's insulted you. Then he can handle himself." Logan just stood still and crossed his arms.

"I _guess_ I should save the sourpuss," Kate said, rolling her eyes and smirking.

"Kind of a catch twenty-two, ain't it?" Logan said her way as he took a drag on the cigar and held his ground. "You can try and see how well you learn and take it out — or stand back and let me do it for you."

"You are _not_ doing it _for_ me," she said as she pointed an accusing finger his way and then reached for a splodey arrow, this time going right for the eyes, aiming as she ran over to put herself between the robot and Logan and trying very hard not to make the horrible joke in her head about Hawk-eyes versus Laser-eyes before she just let it fly, the explosion much more satisfying as it _actually_ took out an optic lens.

"Score one for patch-wearers around the world," Kate said before she could stop herself as she pulled out another splodey arrow, running this time around the back of it as she did so to line up her next shot at knee-level. "Hey, Kurt, if this thing takes my arrow to its knee, you won't be jealous, will you?" she asked as a little more of her confidence returned.

"Just kill the evil robot, _liebling_ ," Kurt said. "Save my best friend, and I'll be eternally grateful."

She chuckled to herself as the arrow exploded in the back of the robot's knee, and it actually stumbled a few steps before it turned a repulsor blast her way. She dropped flat before she called out to Logan, "Hey, shorty, I brought him closer to your level if you want to make me a ladder."

"Just holes?" Logan asked, slowly walking forward and moving the cigar to the corner of his mouth.

"I bet I can fill them with arrows as fast as you can punch them."

"Let's find out," he said, putting on a burst of speed before he jammed his claws into the robot as far up as he'd managed to jump, then swung up to poke some more — working his way up the thing as Kate fired in rapid succession after him. When he got to its shoulder, he just pushed off and landed hard on the ground and began to leisurely walk past the whirring, snapping circuitry, cigar in hand as he drew its attention his way.

"Hey, no, _I_ am the threat, big scary robot dude," Kate said, half sliding into its path and quickly fitting an explosive for the other eye that shook the robot slightly when it went off.

"I'm clearly not the threat, Kate — I'm the unsuspecting apparently blind guy _target_ minding his own business over here," Logan said, scuffing his cowboy boots on the floor.

"Thank you kindly for the ladder, unsuspecting blind guy," Kate called out with a smirk as she vaulted forward and started to climb, using the arrows as anchors to get herself up to the robot's head. The robot was blinded now and took several stumbling steps trying to get her off, and she had to cling on tight to the arrows a few times, but she got there with a little triumphant _ha_ before she just shoved all of her splodey arrows into its neck.

"How good at you at catching?" Kate called out to Logan.

"I do alright," he said before he snubbed out his cigar on the sole of his boot. "Long as it's not heavier than me."

"If you drop me, I'm going to kill you," she said, gauging the distance.

"That's not in your lesson," he teased, brushing off his hands. "And I haven't dropped a girl yet."

Kate nodded once, took a breath, and jumped off the sentinel's shoulder, hitting the button for the splodey arrows once she was reasonably sure she would be clear of the explosion and just hoping Kurt would catch her if Logan didn't.

As she jumped, Logan had taken a few steps back to make a running leap so she didn't have to fall _quite_ so far; he caught her in mid-air and made a point to hit the ground running.

Kate glanced up at him with a little smirk once he'd caught her. "Do you feel sufficiently rescued?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," he agreed, matching her smirk. "My hero."

"Just give me a second chance on everything in here, and I got it," she joked with a smile that wasn't quite as sparkling.

"Might have to wait a little while," Logan admitted. "It's gonna take Forge a few days to tinker that thing back up to snuff."

"Now _that's_ a catch twenty-two. Blow it up or have something to play with the next day."

"Used to have three of them," he told her as he set her on her feet. "But they can only take so many slashes — apparently."

She brushed herself off and looked him over. "Okay. Giant death robot. Sufficiently exploded on the second try." She let out the slightest of breaths and closed one eye. "I'll be quicker on the uptick next time."

"You know how, so I'm not worried," Logan told her. "You'll get 'em if you ever run across 'em."

She nodded quietly once and then broke into a broad grin. "Alright. What else can I blow up?"

He smirked her way and looked up at the booth. "Unless you have something else — she's all yours, Elf."


	5. Professor Hawkeye

**Notes from robbie: Thanks for the continued support and reviews, guys! Training with Logan is definitely "fun," Scruffy ;) At least it is the way we write it because let's be real. This is the fun universe. And GeekyComicBookGuy… We… We don't really know how Kate and Kurt happened? It just… sort of did. We just put them together and they started flirting and we couldn't really stop it? So we just let them run with it and now it's pretty much the best ship ever. Don't question it :P**

 **From CC: Still tickled to see you two reviewing. Makes me grin a bit. (Hi guys!) So yeah. Those two … once we figured out how they could meet, we haven't been able to get a powerful enough hose to break them up. As far as working with Logan goes? That … is just how I think it should be. I don't think he'd be nasty unless he had reason to be. And Kate? Not … not going to be nasty with Kate. She's too much sunshine and willingness to learn.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Professor Hawkeye**

That morning, Kate had headed outside after coffee while everyone else was teaching. She wanted to go somewhere and just shoot for a while without anybody watching her, because as fun as it was taking down big robots, it was tiring and draining with an _audience_ like Wolverine. She loved to perform when it was just for fun — she was a cellist after all. But sometimes, she just wanted to be _alone._

She took a couple quivers of practice arrows that she didn't mind getting a bit worn down and set up some targets on the trunks of a few trees before she started shooting on the front lawn, the repetitive motion relaxing her after the morning chaos that came with so many students and teachers and _breakfast_.

After the first quiver was done, she took a moment to pull the arrows out of the targets and put them away before she started up again, though this time, she noticed that she had an audience — a few of the kids had wandered out into the yard. It must have been a class break, figured, and so she tipped her head their way in greeting before she went back to shooting.

To her surprise, the kids made their way over to where she was and just settled in to watch, and she couldn't help but try to up her game, going for harder shots, double...triple… She pulled out four arrows at once and spread them out between her fingers with a little smile before she put one in every single one of the four targets.

"Is that hard to learn?" asked one girl with long black hair, her head tilted to one side as she seemed to be studying Kate's technique.

Kate shrugged. "The quadruple shot? Yes. The bow and arrow? Also yes, but not as much."

There was a light muttering among the students before another one spoke up. "Can I try?" asked the olive-skinned girl with short hair.

Kate thought about it for a minute. They were practice arrows anyway, so they couldn't really hurt themselves. "Alright," she said, and the girl's entire face lit up as she showed her how to hold the bow and how to aim at the target without an arrow first.

"Okay, try pulling back on the string," she said, and the girl looked surprised at how hard it was to do so.

"It looks easier," she said in a muted voice.

"And if you think finding feminine shirts for shoulders like mine is easy, you haven't seen my pocketbook recently," she laughed lightly before she adjusted the bow and let her try again. When she could draw the string all the way back, Kate handed her a practice arrow. "If I'd known I needed starter arrows, I'd have brought some with softer tips," she explained with a rueful grin.

"Would you?" broke in another girl in the group, a little blonde. "I mean — would you bring some starter things?" she added in a more subdued, shy tone.

"If you want me to," Kate said, starting to grin. "Archery's not for everybody — but it _should be_."

"Can I try next?" asked an older boy in the group, and — well, that was how Kate ended up spending an entire afternoon with one kid or another, repeating the same words and advice on how to hold a bow, how to aim, where to point, how they should _never ever_ point an arrow at someone unless they _actually_ wanted to shoot them.

By the time she headed back inside, she was sure she was running late to grab a bit in time to meet up with Logan and Kurt for the evening's training session, because it had taken her a few tries to get the kids to let her pack up her stuff — something about not everyone getting a turn — and she had to promise to come back with more arrows and things the next day.

She was going to drive to a sporting goods store — or nine sporting goods stores — in the morning and clean them out of archery equipment. One bow and a couple quivers of arrows with rounded-off tips just wasn't going to cut it with these kids.

Kate was just considering what kind of bows would be best and just how many she should buy - not too many or she wouldn't be able to keep track of them all at once all spread out on the lawn… And she didn't want to over-prepare if this was just a passing curiosity and she was left with a whole bunch of beginners' bows.

She thought over all these things as she made her way to the kitchen to grab a quick bite and some coffee — pausing when she saw that Storm was standing beside the coffee machine with a newly brewed pot in her hand and a little twinkle in her eyes. It was notable since Storm was the resident tea drinker, but yet — here she was.

"I don't suppose you know why I had a small gaggle of students handling my bow this afternoon, do you?" Kate asked with a little smirk as she leaned against the counter, arms crossed.

"It's my understanding that the students go to where the _fun_ is," Storm replied as she poured up a mug. "Or where the excitement is. One or the other. Usually it's one in the same."

Kate grinned. "Well, I can't argue with you there. Archery _is_ fun."

"You make it that way," Storm replied. "Not everyone approaches it with the intention of having a good time while they're shooting. More often than not, the archers I've crossed paths with look at it more as a means to an end."

"I wouldn't do it if it wasn't fun. Or if it wasn't... helpful," Kate amended with a little shrug. "But I've taken other classes — archery was the most… it's just _nice_."

"It's natural," Storm offered. "You have a natural talent with a bow and arrow."

Kate smiled at the compliment and nodded. "I guess so," she said. "It certainly feels _right_. But then — it's also my key to superheroing, so…" She smirked wide and laughed as she shrugged again.

"Your key to superheroing is your _heart_ ," Storm corrected. "I have a feeling that even without your weapon of choice, you would find a way."

"You know that's right," Kate agreed with a nod. She leaned back against the counter and drank half the mug of coffee before Storm spoke up again.

"Have you considered passing on some of that knowledge?" Ororo asked casually.

Kate blinked at her in surprise before she thought about it for a moment. "I guess I have," she admitted. "I always figured I'd do for someone what Clint did for me, you know? Not that he taught me how to shoot, but... " She waved her hand. "He taught me to _take_ the shot. If that makes sense."

"It does," Ororo agreed. "If you find the urge to do the same for someone else, I can arrange for whatever you'd require."

"Oh, I was just going to grab a few things in the morning," Kate said with a wave. "I can afford it if they don't want to stick around, but if they want to shoot, I can pass out some practice stuff in the meantime."

"That's one way to approach it," she agreed. "Or - we can put up a sign up sheet and try to gauge how many you'd need. The kids here seem to stick to what they choose to spend their free time learning. I'm sure if they signed up, you'd have a regular group."

Kate tilted her head at Ororo for a moment, trying not to betray how much she _loved_ the idea in the face of the fact that, well, she wasn't sure she _could_. "I'm _so_ not qualified to teach. I've only had one real job in my _life_ ," she said frankly. "Just — you should know that."

Storm smiled and leaned closer to her. "How many of our teachers do you think have actual credentials?"

Kate had to laugh at that. "Okay. Yeah. You got me there."

"You'd be surprised to hear that really the only one with a teaching degree - is Bobby."

"No way." Kate laughed again, the smile growing wider. "I would have guessed someone less… _Bobby_."

"Henry has given lectures at the collegiate level, but no teaching degree. Kitty has higher degrees — but none in teaching. And can you imagine the rest of us sitting through boards?"

Kate chuckled as she imagined Logan crammed into a little school desk. "No — oh no. That would be hilarious, actually," she said. "Logan would correct the teachers… actually... " She trailed off as a new thought occurred to her. "I could see Kurt doing it. He's patient enough, if they'd let him in."

"Kurt's study courses were in religion," Storm told her.

Kate had to laugh and rub the back of her neck. "Yeah… That was a fun surprise. Finding out the guy you're dating was a _priest_."

"It was a chosen profession out of guilt; he's been a very good Catholic," Storm told her. "It's a shame they didn't treat him well."

"Yeah, he told me some of that. It seems to be a running theme," Kate said, blowing out her breath. "I don't understand it."

"We're working toward rectifying the situation," Storm said gently. "Hopefully — in our lifetime."

Kate bit her lip and thought of the purple bug full of books down in the garage. "Hopefully," she agreed. She took a breath and changed the subject. "So — a sign-up sheet, then? Do you think they'd actually be interested?"

"There are fourteen on the list so far," Storm said as she raised the mug to her lips with a sly smile.

"Okay, you—" Kate pointed her finger at Storm. "You are the sneaky one. I don't care what they say about Wolverine. _You_ are the one to watch out for."

She just smiled her way and shrugged a shoulder up.

Kate laughed and shook her head at Storm. "Did you happen to put a time on this sign-up sheet that I just now found out about?"

"No," she replied. "That will be up to you. It's fourteen that want it no matter when you hold it."

Kate looked shocked at the level of interest and tried to cover for it by taking a long drink of her coffee. When she looked up again, she had what she hoped was a much more professional-looking expression on. "Well, good. I'm not a morning person," she said before she broke into a teasing smile. "Especially with the way Wolverine's been running me ragged with murder robots."

"Oh, as I understand it, there won't be any more murder robots," Storm told her. "Totally different direction today. I would advise you to stretch well."

Kate smirked. "Nice to know," she said. "You're welcome to stop by and see Kate Bishop's Remedial Course for X-Training anytime you want, you know."

"Oh, I'll be there today," Ororo promised. "Certain clearances require two senior staff on the board."

"And plus you really want to see the show," Kate teased.

"It's always fun to watch an evaluation."

"Well then." Kate grabbed a sandwich from off the nearby platter to eat on her way out the door. "Sounds like we'd better get this show on the road."

"Logan won't be ready until after his self defense class. You have plenty of time to prepare," she promised. "Unless you wanted to step in and see how he runs things."

Kate considered it for a moment. "It could be interesting to see him teach more than little old me."

"It's brutal," she warned. "They hate it."

"I'm not going to lie — I almost want to sign up for it. Except for my strict rule that I shall never, _ever_ be a student. Not when I'm dating a professor here."

"It would make things ... complicated. You'd be both student and teacher," Ororo mused. "No, we can't have that. You'll have to just settle for private lessons and call it sparring."

"I'll try to contain my disappointment," Kate laughed. "I never really liked school anyway. But ... mine wasn't as amazing as this place is. Little bit jealous." She swept her arm out to indicate the mansion.

"Your school didn't do field trips to the Shi'ar palace either, I'm sure," Ororo replied.

"Which — I am now signed up to chaperone if we ever mend fences with the Shi'ar. For reasons," Kate said with a smirk.

"Officially. As a teacher," Storm agreed with an amused sparkle in her eyes. "Welcome to the staff."

Kate blinked at Ororo. "Wait. Really? I thought — just a little fun archery stuff, like a guest spot or… It's not _really_ …."

"Yes it is," she argued. "For us it is. It's actually a useable class, and I'm looking forward to seeing a line up of students from your own little archery group. I'm sure you can come up with games too."

"As long as you're prepared for a little troupe of Hawkeyes," Kate said with a gleam in her eyes.

"Name your class whatever you like," Ororo told her with a wave of her hand. "Sometimes the titles of the classes are as much fun as the classes themselves. 'Telepathic Self Defense' is very popular, as is 'Fighting without Fighting' — which ... always ends up … coming to blows."

Kate laughed. "That reminds me. I've been meaning to ask Rachel if she can teach me more about telepathy. The one and only time I've come against that… was a spectacular failure."

"I'm sure it was ugly," she said with a raised eyebrow. "And I'm sure she can help. She will likely put up a number of blocks to keep people out — if you're willing — and try to teach you how to stop that kind of invasion in its tracks."

"She'd next on my list after Logan," Kate said. "I'm going around the block for a bit of a tune-up. You guys have all sorts of new things I've got to be able to keep up with if I want to keep running with you." She paused and grinned. "You know. When I'm not teaching archery."

"From what Logan and Kurt told me — you could substitute for Kitty's class from time to time too," Ororo said thoughtfully. "It's essentially a hacking and safecracking class that specializes in alien computer tech."

"I really only know Kree tech," Kate admitted.

"That's a good balance then. Kitty does more Shi'ar. But I'd advise keeping that information to yourself — and not to share it with Warbird. She's our security advisor here for the time being — and a member of the Shi'ar Imperial guard."

"Right. No mention of anything I learned from my ex then. Ever," Kate said with a little nod. "And she's not invited to any class I sub for Kitty."

"She's not allowed to look over any homework either, should there be any," Ororo agreed. "Though she likely won't tear her attention too far from her charge."

Kate leaned back against the counter and took a thoughtful bite out of the sandwich. "I think I like this idea," she said at last, half to herself. "I could totally be a teacher."

"In the meantime — if you want something fun? Go watch Kurt's drama class before your evaluation," Ororo advised.

Kate giggled. "He kicked me out last time," she admitted. "I haven't actually watched the class all the way through to the end of the period."

"Don't flirt with him this time," she giggled back.

"It's so hard when he's being all… Shakespearean."

"I believe they ditched the Shakespeare," Ororo admitted. "There were too many 'Romeo and Juliet' quotes happening between classes — entirely out of context of course."

"That may be why I got kicked out," Kate said with a huge, troublemaking smile.

"He's moved on to a comedy," Ororo told her. "So no harm done."

"Well that just about sums him up. Romance and comedy." Kate grinned and tipped her head at the door. "Do you want to come? I'm sure the Goddess gets the best seats in the house for shows like this."

"Of course," she agreed. "Though I doubt we'll make it the entire class before he kicks both of us out."

Kate put on an affronted expression. "Why, Miss Storm, don't tell me you're a _heckler_."

"In my own way," she said with a little laugh. "I may have plagued him with thunder once or twice. I have no idea why he refuses to put on an outdoor performance."

"It's a mystery," Kate agreed with a sly smile as the two women linked arms and headed toward the little theatre classroom.

When Kate arrived to the Danger Room with Storm and Kurt, the two women were still laughing as Kurt made a show of pretending to still be annoyed at them as the class full of students filed out of self defense in varying stages of bruised and battered.

"You needed cannons in your story, Kurt. And since there weren't any, I asked Storm to help," Kate said through her giggles.

"There are no cannons in the play, and you both know it," Kurt said, shaking his head at the two of them as they waited for the stragglers to pass.

The last student to leave gave them a tight, restrained smile as he limped past and muttered, "I hate this class."

Kate watched the kid leave with both eyebrows raised and then just shook her head. "Well, at least I get the _sparring_ instead of the _classes_ , right, Storm?" she teased, and Storm just laughed.

"Yes, well, I get the sparring session instead of the class too, but the last time we sparred, I had a kink in my tail for a week," Kurt said with a little laugh.

"This was clearly before you started dating me," Kate said, grinning his way. "I could _so_ have helped with that."

He picked her up in a tight hug and gave her a kiss. "Yes. You would have rescued me in a heartbeat," he agreed. "Good luck. Don't let him get under your skin. I'm just a 'port away."

She kissed him back with a little laugh. "I'll remember that. My swashbuckling hero."

With that, she released him and stepped into the Danger Room to find that her sparring partner was simply waiting for her, leaned against a wall. "So. You're ready for this?" Logan asked.

Kate was still in a good mood from all the teasing and kissing, and she showed it off by twirling her bow a bit. "Born that way."

"Alright," he said with a nod as the door closed behind her. "Take me down. No rules."

She blinked in surprise as she gave him an appraising, almost suspicious look. "You want me to fight _you_?"

Logan just smirked a little wider. "I want you to try to kick my ass."

She paused for just a second before the grin widened. "That," she said, "is a challenge. I totally accept it."

"No rules. Use anything you think will help you out," he told her as he kicked off from the wall. "I'll only go to deflect or disarm."

She looked him over. "You don't mind?" she asked. "I know half my arrows are no good, so I was thinking a sword, but I know it hurts even if you _do_ heal…"

"I doubt you could do anything that I haven't done to myself or had done to me a hundred times over — it's fine."

"Alright. But feel free to tap out," she said with a little smirk.

He smirked back at her. "Hasn't happened yet, but I'll keep that in mind."

She grabbed a sword from the rack as well as a couple of staves, her collapsible bow over her shoulder as she chewed on her lower lip to think over her best approach.

"No limit to party favors — take whatever you want."

"I think I've got plenty," Kate said with an easygoing smile as she looked up at the booth to see that Storm and Kurt were sitting together with a bowl of popcorn between them and rolled her eyes. _From one performance stage to another…_

She grabbed a smoke arrow out of her quiver and pulled out her bow first. "Ready when you are." She said, still grinning as she fitted the arrow and he looked at it with a bit of a raised eyebrow.

"Anytime, Hawkeye."

With that, she let the arrow fly, though it stopped short of Logan, hitting the ground at his feet instead as a cloud of smoke erupted from it, and she quickly switched from her bow to her sword as she ran forward to try and take advantage of the smokescreen — remembering his position from just before she'd taken aim as she brought the sword down — though she was unsurprised to find that she cut through air.

It was worth a try, though.

She spun on her toes, listening and looking for any sign of Logan, but each time she thought she was close, she cut through nothing but smoke, until it had dissipated enough that she could see him again — just beside her with a little smirk.

Annoyed, she went for a move that had worked on the Older Him as she bent backwards and meant to kick him in the chin on her way through the backwalk — but he had better reflexes than Older Him, apparently. She shouldn't have been surprised.

She tried just about everything from her fencing classes — and from her boxing, self-defense, anything else. She even gave in and tried the cheap way, reaching for a tranquilizing arrow with a higher dose than last time, but he _grabbed it_ before it could even touch him, and she let out a shout of frustration as she switched back to the sword and just — tried to get a hit in.

"I can see why Cap liked you," Logan told her as he dodged another thrust.

"What?" she half-panted. "My witty humor and good looks? Gets people every time."

"No — _that_ — you use that to cover how tough you are," he replied. "Makes the other guy underestimate you. I like it, but it really only works once. After that first fight — they know."

"Well good. Then they learned their lesson," Kate said as she tried for another swing.

"Yeah — but that just means your list of dirty tricks needs to get bigger, badder, and dirtier."

She paused to take a breath and look at him with a raised eyebrow. "That's why I'm here fighting _air_ isn't it?"

"No, you're fighting air because you can't land a hit," he replied with a little chuckle. "Good form though."

She snorted. "Like I said. I look good."

"You need a 'two'. You know — the old one-two has a two. Misdirection with the first, nail 'em with the second."

"Usually, that'd be what the second arrow is for," she teased.

"So use the second arrow," he told her. "Think I can't catch two?"

She thought about it for a second and then nodded to herself, grabbing her bow for a moment as she stepped back a bit to line up a triple shot — just the normal, pointy arrows, but three of them, just to be annoying about it. As soon as she'd let all three fly, too, she grabbed one of her staves and threw it with precise aim right at his head. One of the arrows hit Logan in the chest, though he caught the other two, and the short stave hit him in the center of the forehead.

"Nice — keep coming while you got an opening," he called out as he took a step back from the head blow.

She grinned and ran forward, pulling her sword again with a little more confidence now that she'd actually _hit_ him. Arrows didn't really count — he bounced back too fast, even the Old One. But a solid hit with the staves she could actually count.

She launched into a new attack with her sword, and again, he kept dodging — until he popped the claws at last and started to deflect with the back of the blades. It wasn't a hit, but it was more satisfying to have something solid against her sword than air.

"Don't just use the blade," he told her. "The hilt is just as dangerous as a sharpened edge."

She obediently shifted her grip as she struck again, this time with the occasional thrown hilt that felt more like an elbow than an elegant fencing technique — her instructor would be having _fits._ But then, she'd always liked playing a little dirty, and she couldn't help grinning.

It went on like that until she couldn't catch her breath properly. She would attack — he'd give her pointers on how to be more vicious about it, and when they were done, she'd even managed to bloody him up a little bit.

"How are you with no weapons?" he asked as he tossed her a water bottle and she leaned against the wall. "At all — and answer honestly."

"Decent enough to get by with the everyday," she admitted after she'd caught her breath. "Took a few classes in high school and after, but I do way more with the bow."

He shook his head at her. "Gotta fix that. You rely too much on weapons. What do you want to learn?"

"Anything. Everything," Kate said with a bit of a light in her eyes. "Whatever you think is the fastest way for me to know enough to help — even without my bow. What's most effective fighting your kind of bad guys?"

"It's not really about what would be fastest to help. More about making sure you can take 'em down to protect yourself first and foremost." He thought about it for a moment. "I'd like to see you learn a few different flavors."

"Throw them all at me. I can take it," she said before she took another long drink from the water bottle. "Whatever you got."

"Looks like you've dabbled in jiu jitsu, and maybe a little basic karate?"

She nodded. "Any class I could get my hands on before I became a Young Avenger," she explained.

"Let's start with something fun and useful," he told her as he crossed the room to pull out a dummy pistol. "Taekwondo beginner classes will only get you so far. Krav Maga, kenpo, and hmmm. Maybe a little kickboxing."

"Bring it on," Kate said, nodding excitedly. She set down the bottle of water and strode over to where he was, bouncing a bit and shaking out her hands in her usual signal that she was ready to get started.

He smirked then picked up a pistol. "Alright then," he said as he raised the gun to her eye level. "Disarming your opponent first. Then we'll move on to the fun stuff."


	6. The Little Mermaid

**Notes from robbie: Thanks again for continuing to love and support this work! We're sorta kinda having a blast over here creating our own universe. Just you wait. We have such plans, y'all….**

 **JD, I definitely agree with your theory. (And since CC and I are both tiny, short ladies, I'd have to say we know a thing or two about the little bitty scrappers ;D) It's not about what your powers are but about what kind of person you are, for sure - it's something I've always loved about both Hawkeyes as the resident "normal" people on their teams ;)**

 **And O - of course Storm and Nightcrawler are being troublemakers together. They're ridiculous :P**

 **Notes from CC: JD - personally, I think your theory is 100% right. Not every mutant can be a gamechanger. I think most of them are lower level, just ... interesting mutations. There was once a classification system that they used that basically broe it down into levels, and most of the members of the X-Men were Betas, with a few Alphas thrown in - depending on what their power set was. Different Alphas for different powers. I liked that ranking system.**

 **And. As Logan's said a few hundred time, 'It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.' **I. Love. Scrapppers.* *shhhhhh - it's really not a secret.***

 **Now while I lay claim on most of Logan, the titles are like ... 98% alllll robbie. She is the title QUEEN. Hands down.**

 **O! O! Hello, O. :D Glad you're enjoying the popcorn. Get some more. We're not done yet.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: The Little Mermaid**

Kate was really enjoying her archery class, even if some of the students weren't very good about _putting their equipment away properly_ , but then, she was a little picky when it came down to it. Her first real Hawkeye bow — Clint's bow? She'd taken care of that thing like a precious heirloom - which… it kind of was. So maybe she was a little finnicky. But the fussing at the end of the day was the only thing the students seemed to get annoyed about. Otherwise, she was pretty sure the _Professor Hawkeye_ thing was actually working out pretty darn well.

She'd ended up with almost a couple dozen students after she set a time — in the afternoon, after she'd had plenty of coffee and time to wake up and have some Kate time to herself. Which, really, was the best possible time to teach a class, if she was being honest.

There were a few standouts, too, and Kate couldn't help but tease that her 'Hawkeyes Guide to Shooting Stuff' class was going to produce a small army of birds by year's end — and maybe an actual Hawkeye or two. Hisako was probably her favorite though — she'd never seen someone on the first day with such scrunched up eyebrows and concentration when, look, you kind of need to _see_ to do this, here let me help. And little Tammy — well, she was totally cheating with telekinesis and thought she was getting away with it. She so was not.

So this really didn't feel like a teaching job. There were no papers to grade or anything like that, just a bunch of kids with bows and excitement in their faces — and it really shouldn't count as a job, because it was really just a lot of fun.

She finished re-setting the equipment where it was supposed to be and had just brushed off her hands to nod to herself — when Kurt came teleporting in as he usually did after her class got out.

"We have a mission," he told her with a more serious look on his face than she was used to seeing. "New mutant manifested their abilities. Angry mob. You know, typical Tuesday afternoon."

She let out a sigh and shook her head. "And here I thought you were just hear to flirt with me," she teased lightly, already reaching for her own bow before she paused and turned back his way. "When you say 'we'... Do you mean you and the team?"

"I mean myself, Logan, Bobby, and you, if you'd like to go. Logan asked for you."

She nodded quickly and broke into a wide smile at that. "Sure. Yes. Please. I want to help."

He gave her a warm smile in return and put his arm around her before he stole a kiss and teleported them to the ready room mid-kiss.

"See, _this_ is why the students giggle when you guys walk past," Bobby said when they arrived.

"If you'd gone to sex ed, you'd be giggling too," Kurt shot his way with a smirk.

"Nah, you two do this so much it's old news in the teacher's lounge," Bobby countered with a little shrug and a laugh.

"Well clearly we should start popping in on your classes if you're getting _bored_ ," Kate teased. "Gotta keep things new and exciting."

"It's only because his classes are boring," Logan told her as he walked through the door and closed it behind him. "But that's not anything I could bother to give a damn about. Rachel found a kid that needs a lift. Should be a standard run — go in, pull them out of trouble, offer 'em a place to go to school where they won't get lynched." It was clear he was addressing Kate as Kurt and Bobby had already simply started reading about the kid from what Rachel had found.

Kate nodded quickly, already running through in her head all the things she'd been cramming during her sessions with Logan. "Alright. Sounds good."

"This one has iridescent scales — seems to think she's part mermaid," Logan explained. "And she's young."

"I'll wait and see what kind of sense of humor she has before I start singing Disney after the rescue," Kate said with a muted smirk as she started to read over the information as well. They were headed to Southern California, which was at least sorta kinda home turf. It wasn't _Jersey_ , but she'd take it.

"Not sure that's a good idea or a bad one yet," Logan admitted. "Even after."

"If she's opposed, I'll make it my job to keep _other_ people from singing it," Kate promised. "Otherwise, I am leading the chorus."

"No, I just — can't say as we've ever had a rescue with singing." Logan was giving her a strange look but didn't actually seem _irritated_ by her antics. Yet. "Seems like if they were singing they wouldn't need us."

"Point taken," Kate said, tipping her head. "But hey — you teach me new things… You can't expect me not to return the favor."

He chuckled to himself a bit. "Yeah, well - don't hold your breath on waiting to get me _singing."_

"Can't carry a tune?" she teased.

"No comment either way," he replied coolly, knowing darn well that answering one way or the other would mean trouble. Either the teasing about how someone with super senses was tone deaf — which was not the case — or the insistence that he sing for her.

She just smirked his way and nodded before she slipped her arm around Kurt's waist. "If you can manage to actually get him drunk, you'll find out for yourself, _liebling,_ " Kurt whispered in her ear.

"Oh, that is definitely happening now," she said, grinning wide before she gave him a quick kiss as a clear 'thank you' for the tip.

"No it's not," Logan called back over his shoulder.

"Eavesdropper!" Kate shot his way.

"You're just loud," Logan replied with a bit of a growl in his voice.

"We haven't gotten to the sneaking-around part of training. So I'm going to blame you for that anyway," Kate said easily, waving her hand at him.

"You'd blame me for anything if you could," Logan muttered as Bobby stood up to join him - away from the lovebirds.

"I can freeze him to the seat if you like," Bobby said as he passed the couple. "That's always good for a few chuckles."

"Ooh, yes. Welcome to the team," Kate said, nodding and grinning.

"I _founded_ that team," Bobby told her. "Icing up the pipes in his room is always a good way to spend the morning."

"I like putting smoke arrows in innocuous places and waiting for him to walk past, but yours sounds fun too," Kate said innocently.

"You'd be surprised how much trouble you can cause with a little ice," he said with a grin. "Maybe I'll show you some time."

"I'm sure Kate can find better ways to spend her free time than your little pranks," Kurt said with a little smile as he very carefully pushed back her headband with the tip of his tail.

Kate turned from Bobby to just grin Kurt's way before she leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Much better ways, for sure," she whispered in his ear.

"Right. Well. I'll just be up with Mr. Friendly while you two try to remember we're not going for the sugar sand beaches and beautiful sunsets," Bobby replied before he headed up to the cockpit.

Kate just laughed at Bobby's retreating form and laid her head on Kurt's shoulder. "We scared off Iceman. I'm adding that to my list of successes since I started letting you guys follow me around."

"I suppose it would be bad form to point out that you're in our jet — and going on our mission?" Kurt teased.

"Well I can't be expected to bring _everything_ ," she countered as she lifted her head up to meet his gaze, a sparkle in her eyes before she just started to laugh. "You bring the toys, and I let you stick around."

He laughed along with her as he pulled her in close and nuzzled into her hair. "Whatever you say, Kate."

She settled in deeper next to him, arms around his waist as she just grinned, content to snuggle with her blue elf for the duration of the flight.

Logan and Bobby took the blackbird down just outside of Long Beach, and only a few miles from where the girl they were looking for was supposed to be hiding. A message from Rachel had pinpointed her location near the river downtown, and they just had to get to her before the growing crowd cut loose on her.

"No beach this time," Kurt told Kate as they left the jet behind.

"You'll just have to make it up to me later," she said, only half-teasing him as she was running through the save-the-mutant training in the back of her mind.

"I'm sure I can find a good ice cream parlor somewhere," he countered with a smirk. "Without creepy bodyguards this time."

"You're buying," she teased. "I could use a banana split just about now anyway. Take a break from pure chocolate sweetness. Just to shake things up"

"I was actually considering taking you to Munich," he admitted with a little shrug.

She turned toward him with a wide grin and both eyebrows raised. "Please!" was the little half-squealed response.

"Consider it our next stop once we get this mess in hand," he told her as they made their way toward the sounds of the angry crowd ahead.

After Logan got a good view of the crowd, he dropped back next to Kate as the real size of the group became apparent. "Alright, you can do this, Hawkeye," Logan said quietly. "Someone grabs your bow — what do you do?"

"Kick 'em in the head, take it back, and look _real_ good doing it," Kate said without hesitation. She knew what he was doing — running her through scenarios to calm her nerves, and she appreciated it, even if she'd been doing the superhero thing for a few years. Just — not so much with the X-Men thing. Or the angry mob thing.

Logan smirked her way at that. "Right, but - you're in uniform, so just assume you always look good and don't worry about that part," he said with a laugh. "Someone grabs Bobby around the throat. Half his head is covering the attacker and none of the body — you shoot the guy in the arm or the face?"

"Stupid as an angry mob is in this century?" Kate said with a raised eyebrow. "Arm — unless he has a weapon."

"Great," he said with a nod, just a few blocks from the first mob member. "You just saved Bobby, and God knows he needs the help. Before you can pull another arrow, your arms are pinned to your side. Big guy. Real big guy."

"Can I reach his feet to stomp them, or is he too tall?"

"Nope. Off the ground," Logan replied as he was watching a particularly tall guy toward the center of the crowd.

"What about between the knees? Can I reach them, or is he holding me at arm's length?"

"He's got you tight to his chest," Logan replied as he measured up the guy he was considering. "You can reach the jewels."

"Great. That's my plan if he doesn't respond to throwing my head back and breaking his nose - unless he's too tall for that too. I'm just exploring options here," she said as she bounced and shook her hands out.

"Options are good. Don't just grab 'em though. Go ahead and twist 'em off if you can find 'em," he replied quietly. "And grab an arrow now — it's going to get ugly." He took a few quick steps ahead of the other three to push his way through the backside of the mob, shoving the people between him and the young mutant out of his way while the others followed behind him, pushing instead of full-on fighting, since, angry as they were, they were civilians.

At some point, the crowd tightened around Logan, cutting him off from the rest of them, and when Kate finally pushed her way to the front as well, she got to get her first glimpse of the girl they'd come to rescue as Logan was already there and trying to gain her trust.

She was stunningly pretty; the scales that covered her skin shimmered in the light and turned every single color of the spectrum depending on how the light was reflected. And she was also skinny and tiny — the scales and silvery eyes made it hard to tell just how old she was, but she just looked so _small_ next to the mob of people trying to get to her.

Kate didn't hear what Logan was saying as she took in first the girl and then the crowd around them, but when she turned back to Logan and the girl, the scaly little mutant was holding onto Logan's arm and half hiding behind him.

"Let's get out of here," Logan said toward Kate. "Before something happens."

As if he'd waited for his cue, the big guy that Logan had spotted in the crowd earlier stepped forward with an angry tone to his voice. "Hey! You can't just stroll in here and take that thing like that." He tried to block Logan's path, and his size was highlighted by how much taller he was than the yellow-clad X-Man as Logan just glared up at him.

"Hey Elf," Logan called out. "Can you help the kid get somewhere safe?" His hands had curled into fists, and he was just waiting for a reason.

In an instant, Kurt had teleported over behind the girl with a reassuring sort of smile. "Let's get you somewhere away from these unreasonable people, _ja_?" He tipped his head at her and smiled a bit wider before the two of them teleported away again — reappearing far from the crowd as Kurt kept a steadying hand on her back after her first ever teleport.

As soon as Kurt disappeared, it seemed the button had been pushed, and the crowd all but erupted around them — outraged that the Elf had removed the focus of their bad manners. The big guy threw a punch Logan's way and broke his hand on Logan's adamantium-laced skull before he backed off and tried to set his sights on an easier target. Several other mob members moved in and pulled Logan down as things quickly started to heat up.

Kate had just kicked the legs out from underneath a guy who got too close when the biggest one ambled over and tried to make a grab for her, apparently thinking she'd be easier than Logan. He managed to get a hand around one wrist and tried to pull her down and toward him, which just had her ticked off as she actually used the momentum of his pull to run toward him and just slam her bow with her free hand as hard as she could right into the space between his legs — which got him to release her fast and just sort of bend over with a little gasp.

"Creep," Kate muttered out before she turned her attention back to trying to push out of the mob back toward the jet. They had the girl — no reason to stick around, right?

As if to prove her wrong, Kate caught a flurry of movement at the edge of her gaze and looked past the crowd to see some new arrivals — a couple of androids headed toward Bobby to try and shoot him out of the sky as he was skating along on an ice path above their heads.

 _Well, at least now we'll see if Logan's a good teacher_ , she thought with a little smirk as she lined up her first shot and let it fly, the force of the explosive that hit the ground knocking both of the androids back several feet and alerting the others to the new players on the field. The small explosion had the added bonus of scaring off a few mob members, too, who weren't brave enough to stick around when things were going to blow up that close to them.

"Oh, great. Sentinels," Bobby said dryly as he looked over his shoulder to see the androids picking themselves back up after the explosion. He spun on his heel and turned his attention to icing the Sentinels in place — which lined them up neatly for a follow-up shot from Kate to take out one of their firing systems.

Part of the mob that had run off included a large number of those that had tackled Logan — and those that had stuck to him quickly rethought that decision when they saw they didn't have numbers backing them up. He got to his feet as the Sentinel closest to him made its attack and fired on him, injuring several of the mob members as a small explosion went off near him.

Nearby, Kate and Bobby were tag-teaming the Sentinels. She didn't necessarily _need_ them to be frozen in place in order to make her shot, since she could hit moving targets just as well, but it sure was helpful as Bobby would pin them and she would start firing at the weak points — joints and targeting systems and just about anything she could get to. They both grinned at each other when they managed to get a pair of the androids close enough together that they blew up with just the one splodey arrow — well-placed — before Kate and Bobby went right back into their pattern.

Logan was fighting back the one Sentinel that had decided to target him exclusively, and it was frustrating that the rotten thing had figured out to keep its distance so that he just couldn't hit it. It was clearly trying to wear him down, making him dodge explosives and gunfire as he tried to weave closer — just to end up chasing it down when he got within claws reach again.

Just about the time that he'd had quite enough of the whole mess and was about to call out for a putty arrow, Kurt appeared next to him and teleported him almost on top of the Sentinel — which found itself shredded into a fine pile of wires and confetti'd metal before Kurt returned to grab his friend and move the both of them to more interesting attackers.

Kurt had to turn when he heard a delighted sort of laugh behind him and was just in time to see Kate sliding down a path of ice, firing arrows as she slid, before she came to a stop just beside him, beaming. "Hiya, Elf," she said, her gaze full of laughter.

"Hello," he replied with a broad grin. "Fine day for dismantling Sentinels, _ja_?"

"And how." She fitted another arrow and fired before she turned back to grin at him over her shoulder. "This is much more fun when I know where to shoot them."

"It does tend to speed things along," he agreed as he dove in to attack the nearest Sentinel headed their way. "There aren't more than a couple left to handle. The girl seemed quite secure when I left her in the blackbird."

"Well, if she wasn't, we'd have to send the giant hug magnet her way," Kate teased.

"I think he might need it more than she does by the time we're done," he said as he tipped his head Logan's way, where he was tearing into two at once. "He really hates these things."

"Nice to see him expressing it in such a healthy way," Kate said with a muted smirk as she watched Logan work for a moment.

"And has your training been of use?" Kurt asked as he went into a twirl toward the Sentinel he was fighting, ending the fight abruptly when he slipped his tail in to push the button hidden near the base of its neck then teleport both himself and Kate away seconds before it blew up. He saw the look on her face when she put two and two together about the button. "Not all of them have it," he explained.

"Oh, I'm _so_ going to find one," Kate said with a little grin. "That — I love hard shots like that. Little button, big explosion — it's screaming for a Hawkeye."

"Well by all means," he said with a bow. "Please — be my guest."

She grinned over his way and fitted her arrow, looking around the dwindling battle for a moment before she spotted what she was looking for — and was even more pleased to see it was one by Logan so she could pick on him over not sharing this totally Hawkeye-worthy kind of shot with her. She got a bit of a running start and then lined up her shot as she slipped around behind it and fired — then quickly switched directions to get out of the way of the resulting explosion, laughing quietly to herself as Logan started swearing.

" _Goddamnit!_ " Logan snarled, turning toward the source of the giggling. "Warning would be nice before you blow up a flamin' robot next to me!"

She couldn't quite arrange her features in the expression of innocence she was going for. "You didn't tell me about the button," she explained with a shrug.

"That's because most of them don't have it anymore," he barked at her. "Just for that, you get to pull the damn shrapnel out before it heals over."

She made a little face. "Grumpy today, aren't you?"

"That's what happens when I get freakin' sheet metal lodged in my back!"

"Next time, tell me about the exploding buttons then," she countered, her hand on one hip before she just flat-out grinned at him. "I _am_ sorry — I couldn't resist."

He sent a growl her way before he tore the head off the last android and stalked toward the jet. After he passed her by, glaring as he went, Kurt pulled her close and kissed the side of her head. "You're going to need a scalpel."

"Just don't let the little girl see what I'm doing," she said with a little nod.

"Oh, we're going to let her ride co-pilot," Kurt promised. "The buttons and lights always draw their attention from the swearing."

"I seem to remember something else distracting my attention the first time I rode co-pilot," she teased with a little sparkle in her eyes.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Bishop," Kurt replied with a raised eyebrow and a broad grin.

"You're right," she said, nodding semi-seriously. "I was definitely not distracted by a fuzzy blue elf. At all."

"That doesn't sound very distracting to me," he said with a little frown and a shake of his head as if he were confused. "I'm certain that couldn't have been it."

She stepped in a little closer with a troublemaking grin. "Well there was also the fact that I had a pair of gorgeous smoky eyes watching me the whole time. Like I didn't notice _that_ ," she teased.

"You're reading too much into it," he said dismissively, though the smile was creeping onto his face. "I was simply trying to make sure you didn't kill us."

"You're right," she said, unable to hold a serious expression at all. "And I was definitely just learning how to fly, not at all checking you out."

He nodded his head seriously before he darted forward to kiss her. "That would have been inappropriate and not at all the kind of thing that the X-Men would tolerate."

"And we wouldn't want them getting their pants in a bunch over little old us," she agreed as she stood on her toes to kiss him right back and slide both arms over his shoulders.

As the two of them kissed, the light around them seemed to dim substantially, and when they opened their eyes, Kurt simply started laughing. Bobby had enclosed them in a dome of ice. "There are children present!" Bobby shouted with a laugh, his voice slightly echoing and muffled by the ice.

"Hey!" Kate shouted back, giggling. "I was keeping the kiss Disney-PG!" She grinned and turned toward Kurt. "Mostly."

"No need to hold back now!" Bobby shouted back. "You know. Unless I suddenly figure out how to _melt_ the ice." He was laughing maniacally. "Not like you two need a cold shower or anything."

"Well, if he's going to give us an opening like _that_ ," Kate whispered to Kurt as she snaked one hand through his hair to pull herself even closer.

They were getting involved properly when the angry mob started up, beating on the ice dome. "No chance of an easy trip here," Kurt muttered.

"Mood killers," Kate shot at a whisper over her shoulder, glaring at the other end of the ice dome.

"Yes," Kurt agreed. "And we should get back before they find the blackbird and start all over again. Are you ready?"

She quickly smoothed down her hair and then nodded with a little smile. "Guess I have to go pull some shrapnel now. So much less romantic," she said.

"Yes, well, had I known you were going for the one nearest him — I would have warned you about the consequences." He kissed her forehead before teleporting them right onto the jet, arriving just as Bobby made his way up the steps.

"Thanks for the effort, but the stupid mob people showed up," Kate called Bobby's way as she finally let go of Kurt and looked around for a scalpel or something to get started.

Logan gave her a look and shook his head slowly at her — having already pulled out what he could reach himself. Bobby just laughed at both of them and pressed a set of pliers into her hand. "You're gonna need those too. So you don't cut your hands up."

She made a face and let out an involuntary shudder. "Thanks. Yeah — no cutting of hands please." She sat down by Logan and took in a deep breath. "Alright. Consequences suck, but I'm still only a little sorry," she teased him.

"Just get the damn things out. They hurt more the longer they're stuck," he answered with the faintest growl in his voice.

"I'm working on it. Keep your shirt on," she said as she just started to pull out the smaller pieces first, figuring the bigger ones would take longer to heal over - and she really didn't want to have to go digging. "Or off, as the case may be," she added under her breath.

As she got to the bigger pieces, he started just growling low, and when she paused, he looked over his shoulder at her for a moment. "Ignore me," he said, half rolling his eyes. "You're doing fine."

"You're just lucky I'm good with my hands," she said, shrugging him off as she got back to work. When she'd finally finished, he stretched out a bit and then nodded once before he waved her off.

"Go. Make over your Elf," he said quietly before he pulled a clean shirt on.

She raised an eyebrow at him but didn't argue more than to say, "There are children present," in a very teasing tone.

"And I'm not torn up and swearing and growling anymore. Send her out. You deserve a little break after that, Dr. Pierce," he said off-handedly.

"That makes you Radar, shorty," she teased.

"If you're taking that route, the teddy bear's name was Tiger — but you should still get on up to Hot Lips."

She laughed outright and even gave him the flat-palmed Pierce semi-salute before she scampered off to go inform Kurt that he had to live up to his latest nickname.


	7. Purple v Purple

**Notes from robbie: I love the word adorkable. It is the best possible description of the nonsense that is happening with these beautiful people :D**

 **CC's commentary: Looks like Scruffy can join in the title naming troublemaking fo' sho. (hello!) and O … Logan says … NO.**

 **Thanks for sticking with us - still having fun here. Still enjoying the silliness. Hope you can say the same.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Purple v. Purple**

When the little group of X-Men landed back in Westchester after the mission, Kurt took the new girl down to see Henry, and Bobby started to go through the procedures to put the jet away when Logan pulled Kate over and gave her a quick, one armed hug.

"You did good today, Hawkeye," he told her quietly as he kept her pulled in tightly. "Keep it up."

She positively beamed at him for a long moment after he let her go, before she couldn't help but tease him. "Can you say that again for my camera?"

"No," he replied with a smirk. "Unless you earn it again."

"Next time then," she said with a little grin and a two-fingered salute before she wandered off to go find some post-mission coffee.

When she had gotten through her first cup, Kurt appeared with an echoing _bamf_ and a smile as he wrapped her up from behind. "If you'd like, we can leave for Germany in the morning. I'd like to take a few days anyhow, to show you the sights."

"That sounds really nice," she agreed, grinning as she refilled her cup. She leaned a bit into him, the warmth of the coffee as well as the warm and fuzzy blanket of his arms the perfect antidote to the chilly fall weather. "How's the little mermaid?"

"Shaken up," he said with a sigh as he settled his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his tail around her ankle. "As is expected. We have a few young ladies here that we know will treat her right and show her around. Help her to settle in. A few of your little hawkeyes are already trying to adopt her into their troupe, though I can already see she is reluctant to try it."

"Well, I'm glad to hear at least that she'll be sticking around," Kate said with a proud sort of smirk. She set down her cup, turned around, and closed the space to stand on her toes and kiss him. "It'll be nice to get away somewhere for a while after we time traveled to the dark ages of pitchforks. Seriously."

"Hopefully the villagers in my old town have gotten over it then," he said with a little laugh.

"The pitchforks or the world is flat mentality?" she asked, grinning back at him.

"Pitchforks, torches, actual medieval fun stuff," he replied with an almost self-conscious grin. "The last time I was there — well, besides the museum opening, but that was an entirely different affair — the villagers tried to drive us out of town like it was an old Frankenstein movie."

"Always an adventure with you," she said lightly as she draped her arms over his shoulders. "I just don't understand it. You're too cute to be mad at — for long."

He pulled her closer for a slightly more involved kiss. "You are incredibly biased."

"And also incredibly right," she countered, playing with a few of his curls as she twisted his hair around her fingers. "But you know — I'll bring my running shoes just in case."

"No need," he replied lazily. "You know I'll simply teleport you to safety if the angry mob gets too close. Just out of reach. They can chase us away one 'port at a time. It will be good for them."

"I like the way you think," she laughed. "Aerobic exercise and teasing."

"Oh, I'm sure they'll think they need to rescue you from the blue devil," he said with a little low growl. "Protect your virtue from evil. All that."

She stood on her toes again to kiss him with a smirk firmly in place. "Maybe they're right. You have a reputation as a flirt, mister — and I'm just _such_ a young, impressionable girl."

He grinned broadly at her and just nodded slowly. "Yes, yes you are."

She laughed at that and leaned in a bit closer. "Whisk me off to your tower, oh dangerous blue devil," she whispered, and he just laughed before he scooped her up, and they teleported out of the kitchen.

...

As he had promised, Kurt found a parlor that served some of the _best_ ice cream in all of Germany, and Kate was enjoying every single bite of the chocolate fudge creation in front of her as the two of them enjoyed a warm fall evening together. Kate had traveled before, with her dad or even, when she was younger, with her mother — but always as a passing tourist. Not with someone who knew where to _go_. The _best_ places, with good ice cream and good music and just the right views at a rooftop restaurant.

She was picking up bits of the language as he tried to teach her how to fix her horrible pronunciation, too. She already knew some just from being around him, the little pieces of German that he would let slip into everyday conversation — but she was determined to learn a little more. It was a little strange just sort of ... sitting off to the side as he talked with the people around them, but he just lit up so much when he got to use his native tongue that she didn't mind too terribly much. Anything that made him grin like that was alright in her book, even if she did feel a bit left out.

As she scooped out the last chocolate remains of her ice cream, she grinned over the top of her spoon at Kurt. "You're spoiling me rotten. I have a purple spandex-y suit to fit into, you know."

"I'm sure I can come up with some way to help you work it off," he replied with a cheeky grin as the breeze caught his curls and blew them out of his face. "We'll figure something out."

She laughed at him and reached up to tuck her own hair behind her ear, as the wind had shifted behind her and blew a few strands in her face. "You already have ideas, I'm sure," she said. "Sneaky little imp that you are."

"Perhaps I might have an idea or two." He grinned her way, and she laughed when his tail snagged her around the waist — and she scooted over so she could give him a little kiss before he teleported them both out of the little ice cream shop and onto the roof of a little villa with a gorgeous view of the mountains.

He stretched out on the roof with his hands behind his head and a little smirk as she lay down next to him, half propped up on one elbow so she could see his cheeky grin. His tail was still wrapped around her waist as he pulled her down for a proper kiss.

"So," he said when he finally released her the slightest and she laid her head on his chest, grinning up at him with her head tilted back. "Besides the food and wine — I hope you have enjoyed the tour?" He grinned down at her as he pushed back some of her hair from her face.

She nodded with her chin on his chest. "The views are something spectacular," she teased, looking right at him and nowhere else.

"I think the Riesling has gone straight to your head, _liebling_ ," he said with a little laugh.

"You're right. That's a very old line. I should come up with something better," she said with a serious look before she just started to laugh. "Nope. Too distracted by the handsome Elf. He's so dashing and old-fashioned that I can only think of old-fashioned lines to use on him."

"You don't need to use any lines on him," Kurt promised. "Not when action speaks volumes."

She nuzzled into the fur on his neck with a little sigh. "That," she whispered in his ear just before she started to kiss him, "is a challenge. Which I gladly accept."

...

"So," Kate called out from the bathroom as she was finishing getting ready, her hair wrapped up tall in one of the hotel towels as she finished scrubbing her face. "What's next on the grand romantic tour?"

"Oh," he said with a little shrug. "Just a little festival in Winzeldorf."

"Sounds fun," she said, grinning. "Will there be games for me to wipe the floor with you in?"

"There will be games, and the circus should be in town."

She poked her head out of the bathroom, only one eye mascara-d as she looked at him in surprise. "Your circus?"

"Very likely," he replied, the smirk stretching a bit at the look on her face. "I like to check in from time to time."

She laughed and shook her head at him before she went back to finishing her makeup. "Sneaky Elf," she half-whispered. She ran a quick dryer through her hair and then slid her usual headband into place before she grabbed a purple leather jacket and shrugged it on. "Alright," she said as she turned in a little circle. "I'm ready to win all the prizes."

He offered her his arm and pulled her into a kiss when she took it. "I'm sure you'll beat me soundly," he said quietly. "And I'm looking forward to your victory dance."

She laughed. "I'll even let you share in my spoils," she assured him.

"I doubt the carnival will be able to compete with the prize I already have."

"Who's using lines now?" she teased him before she very gently stole a longer kiss.

"I said _you_ didn't need to use them, I never said that _I_ wouldn't," he said with a little smirk.

"I'd have a better response if they didn't work so well and make me want to kiss you all the time," she admitted, laughing quietly before she snagged him by the waist for one last kiss to prove her point. She left her hands resting on his shoulders, toying with the edge of the collar of his shirt for a moment before she just let out a sigh. "Alright — lead the way, handsome man. If we don't leave now, we'll never get to the festival before it's over."

He grinned at that and just held her a bit tighter before they teleported out of the room, and just moments later, they reappeared in a little village that to Kate looked like it had come out of a Grimms fairy tale. At least — the part that was decorated for the festival.

Kurt was grinning as he watched her take in the sights and sounds of the festival with eyes almost as wide as her grin. There were, of course, games to play — as well as little carts with food and other items for sale, and her mouth was already watering looking at some of the goodies all around them. It was much nicer than other parties she'd been too — because it was smaller. Still crowded, but it _felt_ smaller, more intimate, more _authentic_ and friendly.

"I can't decide what to do first," she admitted to Kurt at last as she looked around. She was still half keeping an eye out for something purple she could buy Logan — or herself — just to bug him… And there was a food stand on the other side of the street that smelled _amazing_ … then there were games that she knew she'd win because they were _aiming_ games, and maybe she could win a purple stuffed animal… She finally settled on a ring toss, because there was a purple and blue striped teddy bear she was _so_ going to win for Logan.

She slid right up to the booth with a wide grin at the vendor as she paid for her turn. The guy was smirking a bit at her in that way that Kate was pretty much used to — underestimating idiots, all of them — before she just smiled sweetly at him and threw three rings at once just to prove she could. The smirk disappeared from the guy's face, and Kate walked away with a teddy bear that she affectionately named Tiger. Just for Logan.

She handed the teddy bear to Kurt with a wide grin before she just slipped her arm through his and started to lead him around as he seemed content to let her discover anything she wanted, even laughing at her once when they stopped for lunch and she decided to be brave and try abbelwei. Which ... she immediately regretted, as Kurt laughed even louder at the face she pulled.

The two of them had finally stopped to rest at an open table as they enjoyed the rest of their meal when Kate spotted one of the carts close by selling clothing. There was a _gorgeous_ scarf — purple with bits of blue when the light hit it just right — and she didn't want someone else to get it first. "I'll be right back," she told Kurt, setting down her drink and motioning to him to stay put with both hands. "You just make sure no other pretty girl comes and takes my seat to try and woo you."

"I'm sure you're safe in that regard," he said with a teasing smile. "I'll be sure to pine for you while you're gone, though." He added to his sentiment by putting on his best downtrodden expression and all but melting into his arms as they were folded in front of him on the table.

"Then I'll have to be quick. Wouldn't want you to suffer for too long without me," she teased before she slipped through the crowd toward the cart, a little skip in her step as she imagined how good the scarf would look with her uniform — she really should bring that look back. It had been a great look, _and_ there were plenty of uses for scarves if she got creative. Like snagging cute Elves around the waist to steal kisses — just to name a random one.

"I'd like that gorgeous purple scarf, _bitte_ ," Kate said, a little pleased with herself at her pronunciation. The woman at the cart nodded and smiled politely at her as Kate reached into her purse to count out the money. She placed the bills on the wooden frame and grinned as she held out her hand for the scarf and remembered to say, " _Danke_."

She still had her hand outstretched for the scarf when someone reached out to grab her by the wrist and yank her sideways. She hadn't expected it at _all_ because she was so wrapped up in enjoying the festival, and by the time it clicked for her that the local man that had been standing just near her was now much more metallic, he already had one hand clamped down over her mouth.

A bit late, she tried to stomp on his feet, or kick him in the shins, knees, anything — but she just hit metal instead of flesh, and in a second, there was a second one helping the first, and she was dragged off before she could do anything about it — or even call for help.

While all this was happening, Kurt had been waiting patiently for Kate to return, keeping a watchful eye as best he could in the gathered crowd and blissfully unaware of what had happened to her. He looked off in the direction that she had left but saw no sign of her — or anything that he thought might catch her eye. He let out a sigh and waited a bit longer, jiggling his foot and trying to ignore the way his tail was twitching behind him. But when a solid fifteen minutes had slipped by with no sign of Kate, he had reached the end of his patience.

To walk through all the vendors would take less time than that — and none of them were terribly busy. He got to his feet and headed off where he thought she'd gone, and just about the time he'd started to wonder what had happened, he heard a high-pitched whining sound that was suspiciously like that of one of those Omega Sentinels just before it discharged a weapon.

He turned his head toward the whine in time to see the face of the local man that had been turned into an Omega, and as he fired his weapon, Kurt teleported away purely on instinct, only to appear well down the midway. The attack from the Sentinel was for naught, as he simply had no chance to anticipate where Kurt might reappear, and with the Sentinel unable to reach him, the Elf immediately went to looking for Kate as the locals scattered to take cover in their homes and tourists rushed away from the scene.

When he didn't see her right away — and teleporting around the village gave him no insight as to where she was, particularly since there were no small knots of bad guys getting their back sides handed to them — he started to panic in earnest. He called her name as he evaded the Sentinels — finally losing his temper and tearing into them as they made their presence known and teleporting sections of them to opposite ends of the tiny village until they simply couldn't fight him.

When the dust had settled and he found himself alone, he reached for his comm to call for help, and it was Jubilee that answered. "Well, well, I didn't expect to hear from you while you were scouting your honeymoon," Jubilee sang out when she heard his voice.

"Jubilee, I can't find Kate," he said, half breathless. "I think she's been kidnapped."

But Jubilee didn't seem to immediately realize the severity of the situation. "Ooooh, you should really keep closer tabs on your young girls. They are a _hot_ commodity, you know. Particularly girls that look a certain way … preciously, awesomely, innocent like Kate … ahem."

"Jubilation, it's not funny, and this is not a joke," Kurt half barked out, startling the young woman on the other end of the comm.

"Okay, okay — I was just teasing. Jeez. Sorry! Tell me what happened; I'm downloading your coordinates right now," she said, and he let out half a breath as he heard the rapid typing of the keys in the background.

"We were at a festival, and she got up to do a bit of quick shopping — and she simply disappeared." He paused to take a deep breath. "When I went looking for her, I was attacked by Omegas."

He heard a pause for just a few seconds before Jubilee replied very seriously. "We're on our way. Don't do anything stupid without us. You hear that, fuzzy Elf? No stupid _without us._ "

Kurt let out a small breath as he heard the click of the comm on the other end and then turned back to the little village. He didn't know where Kate was, but he knew it would take the others some time to arrive — so in the meantime, he just had to keep searching….

The bamfs reappeared around him, their expressions open and curious as to why Kurt wasn't with his lovely companion when they'd purposefully been giving the two of them privacy and space — but when Kurt very quickly and quietly told them what was going on, they joined in on the search, though Kurt had been through the village enough times by then to know they simply wouldn't find anything, even if he did appreciate the effort they went to.

When Logan and Jubilee arrived a few hours later, the local villagers still had not come out of their homes, likely still wary of the blue demon teleporting around their town. Logan went right to his best friend, who was pacing a short path and looking somewhere between furious and terrified.

Kurt didn't hesitate to simply lead him to where he'd seen Kate last. From there, it was a simple matter of standing back and letting Logan work.

He started out at a quick pace, frowning deeper the further from the village that he got until he stopped at one of the roads on the far side of the village and just glared down both ways. He headed down one way a few hundred feet before going the other way too and choosing the more likely of the two directions.

"If you have any ideas as to where they might have gone — why don't you figure it out before we hit the autobahn," Logan said with a little frown. "This road isn't used much — but a main one?"

"There is an old castle near the mountains," Kurt suggested, pointing down the way Logan was already headed.

"Then I guess you better go rescue your princess," Logan replied. "We'll bust her out, then I'm sure she'll wanna help slay the dragon."

...

Kate was not sure who had decided to screw up her date with Kurt or why — but she did know that whoever it was had a death wish.

She also wasn't sure what their plans were other than throwing her in this… this... the word _dungeon_ seemed definitely appropriate here. Which ... was not exactly helping the fact that her heart was pounding in her ears.

The Sentinels had dragged her off away from the festival and bundled her in a car, and the frustrating thing was that _now_ , after the fact, she was running down a list of things that she should have done, could have done better. Like paying better attention to her surroundings — what the heck was a codename like Hawkeye good for if she didn't keep her eyes _open_?

Or — she could have been smarter and kept her bow closer. Honestly, she hadn't expected to have to deal with anything while she was out with _Kurt_. Sure, he was an adventure and a half, but not _this_ kind of adventure. But she should have been prepared just in case.

She leaned her head back against the stone wall behind her with a loud and frustrated sigh. The truth of the matter was she was caught totally off her guard and off her game. Sure, she'd trained on how to fight Sentinels, but ... she had always practiced for having to protect Kurt or Jubilee or _not herself_. Just… seeing someone totally normal turn into _that_ and turn on her? It was so much more unsettling in person, outside the Danger Room, and she totally hadn't been ready for it.

She would be next time, though. She could learn from this. She could totally learn from this. She just… had to figure out how to get out.

Kate was just falling into a good round of self-pity and annoyance as she couldn't find a weakness in the sturdy bars on the door or anything that would give her a way out when she heard the heavy fall of footsteps and arranged her features into what she felt was an appropriately pissed off glare, her hands clenched in fists as whoever had screwed up her trip to Germany approached.

The guy didn't give her any preamble or gloating, like she'd been prepared for, though. Instead, he just jumped right in: "What ties do you have to the mutant known as Nightcrawler?" The speaker's voice was overly stern, and the glare he was giving her was way over the top for her liking as he stepped into view from the dark shadows.

"Oh, he never ties with me. I always outshoot him," Kate said with a little smirk as she jutted her chin out at him. She'd been dealing with creeps like this since she got started in the business, and the best way to fight the rising terror of the beginning of an interrogation was to try to throw the questions back in their faces — and act like the whole thing was a joke. She'd learned that one from watching Clint.

The man's face was still half hidden in the shadows as he frowned at her. "I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation you've put yourself in."

Kate looked around her surroundings for a moment with distaste evident in her every movement. "I _so_ didn't put myself in this place. That's on you, Creepy."

"By associating yourself with the X-Men, you _absolutely_ put yourself here," he was sneering down at her as he stood just out of reach on the other side of the bars.

She glared right back at him in silence for a while before she just leaned back and crossed her arms. "My friend was right. I think the purple triangle _is_ compensating for something."

"How many X-Men are there now, and who makes up their ranks?" His eyes almost looked like they were glowing.

"Definitely more than one." She settled into a bit of a smirk before she added, "And I'd direct you to my friends Major Hot Lips Houlighan and Corporal Radar O'Reilly if you're asking about ranks."

"You know, miss — you can cooperate and make it easy on yourself, or we can do this the hard way," he told her. "Are a few troublemaking mutant terrorists really worth protecting?"

If Kate was being honest with herself, it was taking every inch of mettle she had to meet his gaze and pretend she wasn't totally, honestly terrified. This was the guy that killed Kurt, that made her incredibly powerful boyfriend _nervous_ — and she was stuck on the other side of the bars with no powers and no way out for her first time meeting him. "Yeah, they really are. They're my troublemaking _friends_ , bozo," she said, the heat to her voice at least passing for anger instead of fear.

He smirked at her for a moment, though he hadn't moved one iota. "That's your final word then?"

"Can we not use words like 'final' in a creepy dungeon?" she asked with a little squeak to her voice before she bit down on her lip to try and get the squeak under control. "We'll say - yes on the 'yes they are my friends.' Yes. That part."

"What about their numbers? Are you willing to divulge to me how many there are hiding up in that _school_?"

"Okay, maybe more than _two_ , then," Kate said. "I can haggle."

His eyes narrowed as he leaned a bit toward her. "If you're going to be difficult and try to play games, then I'll simply _take_ what I want. I have methods that don't require you to even be conscious, let alone cooperative."

"Then I won't have to look at your stupid purple self anymore," she shot back, her voice clearly shaking but the glare settling in deep.

He smirked her way. "I'll send my guards in then. You'll make a fine little … surprise for the X-Men, but moreso for Nightcrawler." With that, he turned on his heel and slipped back into the shadows, leaving Kate alone in a very freaky dungeon.

She rushed to the bars and strained herself trying to hear what he was saying to the guards stationed outside of the dungeon. She couldn't catch all of it, but she did manage to hear a few words like 'Omega Sentinel' and 'procedure' followed by the short direction to 'complete the process and cut her loose'.

She couldn't help it. She just ... she could just _see_ the local guy who grabbed her, or the ones in the sims she'd run with Logan, and she clapped one hand to her mouth as she just slid down to her knees. No. She couldn't… she _wouldn't_ let them turn her into that.

Somehow, she managed to wait until she thought the head creep was out of earshot before she let out the first, subdued sort of sob.


	8. Escape from Sentinel Tower

**Notes from both of us: We'll just get right to the epic rescue for you guys, Angry Vengeful Kurt included ;) *the authors wave hello to the readers* *and make presentation hands for the new chapter***

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Escape from Sentinel Tower**

When Jubilee, Logan, and Kurt got to the castle, it was painfully clear that the guard patrol on duty was heavy. There were plenty of Sentinels that they could see just out on the grounds, let alone the few who were visible in the windows — and who knows how many others that they _couldn't_ see.

"You think they know we're comin'?" Logan asked as he turned to Kurt, who just nodded and looked ready to tear the world apart if need be.

If the expressions on the bamf's faces were anything to go by — that was about to happen shortly. They were all growling and had their own little swords out, clearly upset. Jubilee looked at the bamf nearest her and frowned. "Why don't they just go get her?"

"Some sort of dampener — or disruptor… I'm not sure," Kurt said thickly. "I can't 'port in either, or I would. I'm not sure how they can stop the bamfs, though - unless this is hallowed ground ... which ... wouldn't surprise me in the least." He turned to his bamfs as one of them started jabbering away. "Yes. good. I understand. Thank you." He turned back to his friends. "They will fight — but they can't 'port once we're inside either."

"Well, too bad for them that we still have an army of them," Jubilee said with a little smirk before she pulled her sunglasses down and looked at Logan. "Ready, partner?" He just gave her a little smirk and the two of them started toward the castle walls at a dead run.

Jubilee had a look of pure concentration on her face as the plasma ball in her hands built. When she was reasonably satisfied, she threw it hard, and as it hurtled toward the castle wall, colored sparks flew from it, screaming and announcing their arrival before the ball hit the stone wall and blew a hole in the size of it big enough to drive a truck through.

Kurt and his bamfs teleported as close as they could before the three of them and the little blue army made it inside and scattered in search of Kate. Almost immediately, Logan and Jubilee came across a large number of Sentinels, but between the two of them — and the blinding flash that Jubilee let loose on them when Logan turned toward her and closed his eyes tightly — those Sentinels were in dire straights.

Logan simply shredded the ones that were too stubborn to stay down from Jubilee's plasma burst and the few that they came across that seemed to be self healing were dealt with as Jubilee tried to refine her subatomic micro bursts. Unfortunately, she hadn't had much time practicing them, and more often than not, those Sentinels exploded spectacularly in a hail of screaming, colorful plasma bursts that looked exactly like firework mortars.

Jubilee looked over to Kurt after she'd blown up the first wave of Sentinels and blew a huge bubble. "You need my help, or are you looking for princesses?"

"You two take as many down as you can — see if you can find Bastion. I am, indeed, looking for my princess," he replied with a stone cold serious glare before he rushed off in the opposite direction. Jubilee shrugged and turned back to Logan, who had already started in with a fresh wave of Sentinels.

Kurt was nearly to the dungeons when three bamfs came running back toward him and chattering rapidly — they had been down to the dungeons and searched everywhere but couldn't find any sign of Kate. He frowned and stopped dead in his tracks before he turned and tried to figure out the layout of the place. When another bamf came to him from the other direction and chattered at him too, also unsuccessful in his search, Kurt looked up and broke into a run for the spiral staircase he'd seen near Jubilee's new doorway.

He was halfway up the stairs before he had to fight the first Sentinel. He didn't hesitate in the least before he simply pounced, something like a snarl torn from his throat as he hardly gave the android time to get its defenses up. The fight was short, and it was just a matter of a few moments before he'd thrust both swords into the Sentinel's chest and crossed them before he forced them outwards to the Sentinel's sides — more or less tearing it in half before he leapt over the body and continued his rush upward.

Three more met the same fate before he finally found the room that Kate was hidden away in. He could see her through the small window in the heavy wooden door — ancient wrought iron scrollwork over the thick pebbled glass. Naturally, it was locked, and it took him some time — and bent one of his swords — as he forced his way through the locks.

Kate was lying near the center of the room on a gurney - her own clothes were gone, replaced by a sad, threadbare hospital gown. She was restrained at the hands and feet, and totally unconscious, though he could see the evidence that she'd fought back in the broken bits of equipment as well as a few defensive wounds and bruises that were not at all covered by the light gown. His heart fell, and he rushed to her side, his jaw locked and an anxious look on his face as he tried to rouse her — tearing the restraints off as he went.

"Kate," he said, over and over, until he had her half propped up in his arms, her head on his shoulder as he continued to try to wake her. "Kate, _please_ , wake up."

When she did finally start to come around, slowly, it took her a moment to focus her gaze on him, and the second the recognition clicked in her eyes, she started to try and push him away, clearly terrified, her eyes wide as she choked on a sob. "No! No — get away. Get out of here — go!" she shouted, half tripping over her words as she did everything she could to get away from him, pushing off his shoulders and simply falling as she tried to run on legs that weren't ready yet as she wasn't quite past the results of whatever drug they had used to put her under.

"Kate," Kurt said half breathless as he tried to approach her again — get her on her feet. "What's wrong, _liebling_?" The look of pure, disarmed shock was clear on his face as his tail stilled behind him.

"Please," she whispered out, absolutely in tears. "Please. You have to run. I don't want to hurt you."

"But you wouldn't hurt me, just as I'd never hurt you," he said gently before he took a tentative step forward and froze on seeing her flinch back. "What ... what changed your mind?"

She plucked at the edge of the gown she was wearing, crying even harder than before. "I overheard them," she said. "They're going to set me loose ... as one of those… _Sentinels_."

He frowned her way and shook his head. "No," he reasoned. "If that had happened — you wouldn't have been tied down." Instead of moving forward, he crouched down to meet her level. "Please, come with me." He reached forward slightly, sure to keep back and make the move hers.

She shook her head obstinately. "I can't — don't make me risk losing you," she breathed out in a quiet whisper.

He let out a breath and frowned a bit before he nodded and turned to the comm at his shoulder. "Logan, I need your help. We're in the top of the tower, if you'd believe it."

"What you didn't look there first?" came the dry reply. "On my way."

She watched Kurt for a moment, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand. "Good idea," she said, and without the tone of urgency, it was easy to hear the slight slur as she was still struggling a bit with the bite of the drugging. "He could stop me ... if I tried… Good idea."

"That's not why I called for him, Kate." Kurt eased himself down to a sitting position and crossed his arms over his knees. "You're not going to attack anyone."

It was clear that she wasn't ready to listen to reason — not yet anyway — and when Logan and Jubilee finally did show a short time later, Kurt got to his feet and leaned into Logan to explain quick and low what was going on.

As Kurt spoke, Logan's gaze locked onto Kate and he frowned the slightest before he nodded and crossed the room with no hesitation to offer her his hand. "Come on, get up, we got some bad guys to kill. I'll even give you some clothes if you're shy."

She looked up at him with a bit of a glare. "I'm not shy," she said. "But you're gonna…"

"I'm gonna what?" he asked with a frown.

She frowned at his hand. "I don't know how far they got. So you… you stop me until we can find out what's up."

"Oh, knock it off, you're not a damn omega."

"Yeah?" She glared at him.

"Yeah," he replied, leaning down until they were nose to nose. "You don't have any fresh incision wounds. You don't smell like nanobots or any of that cyborg crap. My guess is they had you knocked out with propofol and we interrupted their process with Jubilee's impromptu renovation. So get up, get your ass in gear, and let's go kill some bad guys. "

For a second, she glared at him — until the glare melted entirely into a relieved sort of noise as she just leaned against his shoulder and hugged him, her shoulders shaking the slightest bit as she simply let go.

Logan returned the hug and let her get it out of her system for a moment. When she started to take in little hitched breaths as she tried to get better control, he patted her shoulder for a second and said with a little smirk, "Besides. If you were, you'd have blown me up by now."

"You're real comforting," she muttered into him. She picked her head up and quickly wiped at her cheeks, looking a bit embarrassed by her outburst. "Sorry. Right. Yes. Bad guys?" she asked as she tried to inject a little Hawkeye cheer into her voice.

He gave her a weak smile. "Yep. Bad guys. You want a shirt, or you plannin' on stunnin' 'em half to death?"

She held out her hand. "Shirt. Please."

Logan turned his head toward Kurt. "You're up. I doubt mine'd cover much at this point." Kurt smiled and rested his hand on Logan's shoulder as he passed him by and quickly unbuttoned his shirt for Kate.

As soon as Kurt was close enough to hand her the shirt, Kate grabbed hold of his arm and pulled herself up to hug him tight around the middle, her head on his bared chest as she just squeezed him for a long moment. "Thought I was never gonna get to do this again, so just ... give me a second," she explained, voice slightly muffled as she buried her head in his chest.

He tightened his arms around her and just nuzzled into her hair, hushing her and trying to just comfort her in any way he could as Jubilee and Logan turned their attention to the door.

When she finally let him go, she double-checked to make sure the other two weren't looking before she quickly stripped out of the hospital gown and drew his shirt over her shoulders. He reached down to start buttoning the shirt under her chin and then paused, tipped her chin up, and stole a long and gentle kiss.

"Did you happen to bring my bow, or am I bare-fisting it?" Kate asked, clearing her throat as she adjusted the shirt one last time and nodded to herself — time to get down to work.

"Thought you knew how to take care of business without a weapon," said Logan with a little smirk as he held the door open for the two of them. "Unless you need the crutch; then I'll go steal someone's shoelaces and stretch 'em over a stick."

"Don't insult the bow, Wolverine. You're treading dangerous ground," Kate countered, her bare feet slapping on the stone floor as she planted herself with her hands on her hips to glare at him. "But I guess it _is_ midterm season back home. Better test all that training, right?"

"Close enough to it. You fail this one, I'm sending you to regular classes to spar with the 15-year-olds," Logan replied easily.

"Pass-fail, then," Kate said with a nod. "Didn't realize midterms had to be done half-naked."

"If you can fight naked, you can fight anything," Logan told her sagely.

"Voice of experience. I swear, you do it on purpose," she shot back, gesturing to his already-torn-up uniform.

"Sometimes," he replied. "Of course, no one _wants_ to fight a raging naked _guy._ "

"Oh you did _not_ —" She spun on her toes and threw her hands in the air. "C'mon, Jubes. Let's show these _boys_ how it's done." She grabbed Jubilee's hand and started to pull her along.

"You want me to strip too?" Jubes said with a giggle.

"You do whatever you want. But we are going to tear these creeps to the ground and leave the boys eating our dust, so keep up," Kate said with a little smirk as she broke out into a run down the stairs and all but vaulted over the head of the first Sentinel she saw.

The group of them set to work — Jubilee with her explosions, Logan and Kurt slashing and stabbing, and Kate having to occasionally sacrifice modesty for a really good backward kick flip while declaring that any Sentinel that tried to sneak peeks was getting _extra_ dead.

It didn't take long, though, for Kate to see that if she wanted to stick where the action was, she'd have to follow the boys, because it was really clear that Logan had found a trail and was on a mission of his own.

She caught up to him as she jogged along behind him, letting him blaze the trail for a moment as she pulled her sweaty hair out of her face. "Whatcha got?" she asked, interested.

Logan barely slowed as the direction changed and just expected the others to stay silent in his wake before he just kept nosing down the trail, as the group of them pressed deeper into the castle. They could tell they were getting close to whatever had caught Logan's attention as there seemed to be more Sentinels to fight when they approached what looked like the entrance to a grand dining hall — big, intricately carved double doors at the entrance with depictions of opera tragedy scenes carved into the stone along the ceiling.

The room itself was filled with an obnoxious variety of Sentinels. Two of the big ones, their heads nearly scraping the ceiling; several of the remaining Omegas standing in place nearest the little team's entrance; more that were in-between, both cyborgs that had volunteered and smaller robots that weren't to the horrifying size of the biggest ones — just a miserable, horrifying variety.

The whine of all that machinery firing up was loud to all of them, but Kate had no trouble mistaking the growl that was rising above it — though she had yet to see him quite this ... tense.

And there was Bation, standing in the middle of it all and looking downright smug as he took in the four of them. "I admit I was hoping your little toy doll would fetch more than just three X-Men, but once I get done picking through what little useful information you each have tucked away, the others will fall just as easily."

Logan glared. "I'm going to cut off his head and shove it right up his—"

"You're not doing this for us," Kurt said low over Logan's shoulders. "So don't try to do anything stupid alone."

Jubilee was clutching to Kate's arm and just half muttering under her breath as the two men obviously prepared to charge forward. "We can't let Bastion get them," she said quietly in Kate's ear.

"Then I guess we'd better have their backs." Kate was eyeing the Sentinels around the room and already trying to figure out what she could do to them with just her bare hands and feet and half-covered body to use as weapons.

Jubilee nodded her head and started to shake her hands out as if they'd gone to sleep on her as she started chanting 'okay focus' to herself, though when Kurt and Logan burst forward in a rush, slicing and severing whatever got too close, she seemed to almost freeze up — and before Kate dove in to help, she saw how Jubilee's hands were shaking.

Kate reached over and grabbed one of Jubilee's shaking hands. "Want me to flash them for you so you don't have to bring the flash bang?" she offered. "Because they're all getting their eyes poked out anyway."

"I'm not sure that's in your best interests," Jubilee said with a little laugh and tried to muster up a bit of a light show to fry the optics on the nearest Sentinels, though her blasts were markedly less powerful than they were before.

They guys, in the meantime, had worked their way nearly to the center of the room and had managed to bring down the wrath of at least half of the Sentinels in the room — with nothing more than their blades to protect themselves from all of the tricks and traps that they had to use against the mutant duo.

Jubilee kept a wary eye on them, trying hard to keep all three of her companions in her sight as she seemed to almost revert to that seventeen year old girl that was terrified and out of her league. She was unfocused. She was forgetting her _years_ of training, and she was very nearly ready to lose as she watched her teammates fight — and they were losing the battle.

Kate, despite her faked confidence, was just barely keeping up a defense, much less an offense. Kurt was becoming overwhelmed by sheer numbers — hindered by the loss of one of his blades against the mass of Sentinels. And Logan seemed to slash and stab without checking to see what kind of damage he was doling out even as they started to more accurately target him.

Jubes was all but frozen as she watched Logan take hit after hit and keep going — in a full-on rage like she hadn't seen in years — ignoring his injuries and intent on heading toward Bastion when finally, as he roared and threw himself forward, three Sentinels hit him at once with an energy beam that blasted him nearly all the way back to the door of the hall — smoldering, bleeding and with rather disturbingly large portions of him missing outright.

Needless to say, he was not awake. And he wasn't rousing any time soon ... and the worst of Jubilee's flashbacks came back to her in a rush — followed by that same unquenchable fury that she'd tapped into all those years ago.

She turned her attention to the smug-looking leader of the Sentinels as she felt the plasmoids growing at her fingertips. " _Nightcrawler! Hawkeye! Get down!_ " she bellowed before she let them loose — and all but leveled anything bigger than a regular-sized person in the room in a massive explosion of rainbow sparks and screaming streamers.

Kurt and Kate both looked up in surprise when it was over, both peering up from where they'd thrown themselves down at Jubilee's warning as Kate said, quietly, "What's the world record for fireworks shows?"

"I'm not sure, but I am positive that Jubilee could top it," Kurt replied quietly before he got to his feet and pulled Kate with him. When he saw Jubes kneeling down by Logan, he understood it. "Oh, that — that would explain it then." Jubilee looked up at Kurt with an expression of pure rage.

"Let's kill that bastard," she half snarled, and Kurt nodded before turning to Kate.

"Like the simulations," he said with a little smirk before he tipped his head Logan's way. "Protect the mutant."

She nodded once and darted forward to kiss him quickly. "Give 'em hell."

"I'll do one better and send him there," Kurt replied as Jubilee caught up to him, stalking across the room with more concentrated-looking plasmoids around her hands - whistling and shooting off sparks as she went. She looked at Kurt when they got to the center of the room. "You go ahead and soften him up for me. I have plasmoids to build."

"It will be my pleasure," Kurt said before he bared his teeth and dove forward toward Bastion, who was just starting to struggle to his feet after the massive explosion Jubilee set off. Although Bastion dodged the first of Kurt's blows, he wasn't prepared to fight off the small army of bamfs that Kurt brought with him as well — all of them growling as they jumped in to keep any of the remaining Sentinels from interfering as Kurt drove Bastion back toward the wall, practically snarling with every blow as he did so before Bastion reached out a hand and blasted him back several steps, buying enough time to pull a sword from the coat of arms above the fireplace.

As Bastion pointed the sword at Kurt, he settled into a smug smirk. "When I kill you this time — have the sense to stay dead," he sneered at Kurt before he charged forward to meet him, and the air rang with the sound of metal clashing.

Kurt met his attack with a snarl and pushed him back, his counterstrike nearly slicing through Bastion's exposed chest after he'd had to take a step back from Kurt. "Funny. I was going to tell you the same thing," Kurt said in a low growl before he picked up the offensive, once again driving Bastion back with the ferocity of his blows.

Bastion tried to position himself better, though Kurt was clearly the better swordsman, and he struck out with his foot to try and kick Kurt back and gain some distance between them, eyeing the furious Elf in front of him before he let his gaze drift to the still glaring Jubilee and on to Kate and a few of the bamfs keeping Sentinels away from Logan.

Bastion's lips curled the slightest as he looked back at Kurt. "The girl was a surprise," he said with obvious disdain, trying to throw Kurt off his game. "When we looked into her background, I was disappointed to see such a lovely thing degrade herself to dalliances with gene trash like you."

Kurt narrowed his eyes and didn't respond to the comment except to bare his teeth once more and attack with more energy than before. He didn't even need the space the bamfs had given him as he just surged forward, each stroke powered with pure rage until, at last, the sword in Bastion's hand went skittering across the floor, and Kurt followed it up with a neat slice, severing Bastion's head from his body completely.

Finally satisfied with the damage that Kurt had done, Jubilee started to slowly stalk forward, raising her hands when she finally got within a dozen yards of him, her sunglasses perched on the tip of her nose. "Kurt, I've got this," Jubilee said in an oddly calm voice.

The plasmoids at her fingertips grew and stretched out until they touched the bits and pieces of Bastion that Kurt had left behind. Once they reached him, the light in the room began to concentrate, the whistling and popping louder with each passing second as the light emanating out of Bastion and her plasmoids grew brighter and brighter until the whole room seemed to be filled with bright white light.

All at once, the sound of fireworks became deafening with booms, pops, and sizzling screams, and the white light erupted into a massive shower of sparkles and colors like nothing they'd ever seen before.

The explosions seemed to go on for minutes, color bursting around them, but when the light finally died out — every fixture in the room was blown, Jubilee was in a heap on the floor - clearly exhausted — and there wasn't any sign of Bastion or his remaining Sentinels. Not even a scorch mark to show where they'd once stood.

Kate had thrown an arm up over her eyes when the light show started to get intense, and she slowly lowered it and looked around. "Remind me never to make either of you mad," she said in a quiet voice, a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth before her gaze found Jubilee, and she ran over to help, offering Jubilee one hand as she slipped the other arm under Jubilee's shoulders without waiting for permission. "That probably broke all the records at once, Jubes. You alright?" she asked quietly.

"Tired," she breathed out. "Really really tired — and kind of relieved." She smiled up softly Kate's way. "I feel a lot better actually."

"I can totally carry you if you need it. Heck, you've earned a parade and a procession, but a piggyback ride is all I got."

"How about a crutch?" Jubes said as Kate helped her to her feet. "How is my Wolvie?"

"Healing," Kate said. "The bamfs and I didn't let anyone touch him, I swear — he's just… healing."

Jubilee nodded as she looked up to where Kurt was trying to get Logan on his feet, at least to help him get out of the castle. "We can 'port once we're outside," Kurt assured them before he gestured to the halls around them. "Demonic issues."

"Racist castle," Jubilee teased. "The builders didn't like demons, and the latest resident was a tool that had issues with mutants. In spite of not even being human himself. Jerk."

"I didn't know that," Kate said, raising an eyebrow Jubilee's way before she turned a little smile Kurt's way. "And for the record — the scary hell-demon beat-the-sense-outta-the-bad-guy thing? Really hot."

"Good to know," Kurt replied as he shifted his grip on Logan. "I knew demons were known for their heat — though that was not an angle I had considered."

"Well now you know." Kate grinned outright. "And you know — you're also a giant heater, so it's still literal. I never need the blankets."

"And yet you steal them anyway."

"I'm a thief," Kate said shamelessly as Jubilee snorted beside her.

"Can you two, like ... wait until we're out of the racist castle at least?" Jubilee said as she rolled her eyes, though she was smiling at them both.

"If we have to," Kate said with a teasing sigh before she readjusted her shoulder under Jubilee's arm and followed the boys out of the castle.

Once they were past the gates, Kurt teleported them to the blackbird one at a time, and he was sure to help Jubilee curl up next to Logan.

When Kate got there, she looked at Jubilee seriously. "You really look pale. Both of you. Is there anything at all I can do for you two?" she looked concerned as Logan finally looked up at her.

"Chocolate in the cabinet furthest from the hatch," he told her. "Grab it. All of it."

"Got it." Kate practically dashed over to the cabinet and returned with an armful of sweets. "If I still had my clothes, I'd give you the candy I had in my jeans pockets from the festival too."

"This is more than enough," Logan told her. "Just gotta get her back up to snuff. The sugar helps her out for some reason."

"Good to know. I'll keep a steady supply from now on for missions with you," Kate said.

Kate had to laugh though when after Jubilee had eaten a few candy bars, she started arguing with Logan to do the same as she insisted that he needed it to heal, and he insisted that he didn't want all that sugar, though he did finally cave when she started to glare at him — and when he'd done as she asked, the two of them half snuggled up for a nap the rest of the way back.

Kate slid into the copilot seat next to Kurt and was quiet for a long moment, her head tipped back and her eyes closed as she just settled out from all that had happened. He didn't say anything either, just let her rest, but he was surprised when the first thing that came out of her mouth was, "Whatever happened to Tiger the Teddy Bear?"

He turned to look at her in obvious surprise. "I don't… I wasn't keeping track of a striped bear while I was fighting Sentinels and _searching for you_!" he pointed out, shaking his head at her and her priorities.

"I'm going to need to find another one," she decided with a little nod. "It was perfect, too — all blue tiger stripes and purple… I wonder if I could get one custom-made…"

"That seems like an awful lot of trouble for a gag gift," Kurt said with a chuckle.

"But it's the _perfect_ gag gift," she insisted. "A teddy bear for the hug magnet - _and_ I named him Tiger for the Radar thing. It's a two-fer." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "I mean. Just look at the hug magnet all snuggled up back there and tell me a teddy isn't the _perfect_ gag gift."

Kurt grinned before he gently took her chin in between his thumb and finger and pulled her closer for a kiss. "You never stop thinking of ways to cause trouble, do you?"

"Oh, never," she said fervently. "I'd get bored otherwise."

They were twenty minutes out from Westchester when Jubilee finally gave Logan a little squeeze and slipped out of her seat to pop her head into the cockpit. "Oh, honey no. You can't go back in like that." She shook her head and tutted at Kate, who was still just wearing Kurt's shirt — which was now much worse for the wear after all the fighting she'd done in it, too. "Hold on. I've got just what you need back here." With that, she slipped off to the back of the jet and shouted out that she'd be right there and not to land the jet without her coming back.

"Should I be worried? Should we speed up?" Kate joked, glancing over at Kurt with a little smirk.

"I have no idea what she has in mind," he admitted. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

She returned a few minutes later and handed her a pair of white socks and her spare sunglasses. "There you go. Ensemble complete."

"...What?" Kate wrinkled her nose.

"Don't question it. Just put it on. I have the song cued up on my iPod and ready to go when she get back to terra firma, just _trust me_ on this."

Kate looked between the socks, Kurt, and Jubilee. "So… what kind of model strut are you going for here?"

"RISKY BUSINESS!" Jubilee all but shouted. "I know you're young, but come _on._ Classic Tom Cruise movie!" She looked at her in disbelief. "You know — he does the slide across the polished floor? Hairbrush for a microphone? Nothing?"

Kate started to giggle. "I've seen the dance scene online. Do you have a hairbrush for me too?"

"Duh, of course," she said, throwing her hands in the air. "As if I'd leave you hanging like that."

"Of course. What was I thinking." Kate just shook her head and started to laugh. "Alright. I will even dance for you — but you have to dance _with_ me."

"Oh, you can save the dance for Kurt. Later. When you have a little … privacy." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'll bet we could even have a pole installed for you."

"You are horrible, and I love you," Kate said, laughing. "Still ... it seems a shame to have the song all queued up without dancing. I've got to at _least_ do the slide down the ramp."

"Agreed," Jubilee said with a nod. "Motion passed. One Bob Seger slide coming up."

"Besides. I can't do the whole dance anyway. I'm not… I'm definitely commando," Kate said in a little whisper to Jubes. "And I love you guys? But Beast does not get to see some things, alright? I don't care if he is a doctor."

"Agreed," Jubilee said. "He gets nervous about flashing girls half the time anyhow — so I don't think he'd _want_ to see the full monty dancy pants Kate."

Kate just grinned and leaned back in her seat as she plopped the sunglasses on top of her head where her headband would usually be.

When they finally landed in the hangar, Kate was surprised to see that not only Storm and Hank as well as Bobby were waiting for them — but America and Clint were in the hangar too and looking a bit worried. Someone — likely Storm — must have called them to say she'd gotten in trouble.

Well, she'd just have to ease their worries then.

"Let's hit it, Jubes," Kate said as she did a little 'practice' slide from the cockpit toward the back of the plane where the much bigger slide was.

Kurt was grinning behind her, and Logan just took one look at her and chuckled as he shook his head. "Gotta perform all the time, don'tcha?" he asked with a crooked smirk on his face.

"Only when it's fun," she shot back, full on beaming before the ramp went down, the music switched on, and Kate slid out onto the hangar floor lip-syncing as Jubes was flat cackling behind her.

Her other three team members just walked down behind her in varying stages of amusement while Storm just grinned her way and Bobby started dancing along to the music between uproarious fits of laughter — and was quickly joined by Clint. Henry was just smirking to himself for the bulk of the performance, while America took a little longer to stop looking like she was ready to hit something before she just started to laugh too.

When Kate finally came to a stop, she pushed the sunglasses up on her head to push the hair out of her face, tucked her feet at the ankles, and gave the tiniest of curtsies.

Kurt was next to her in a moment, his hand at her waist before he pressed a kiss to her temple. "Very charming," he told her quietly.

"You must be rubbing off on me," she teased back before she turned to her little audience. "What are you all doing up so late on a school night?"

Logan shook his head as he and Jubes headed her way. "I can't believe you let her talk you into this one," he told her before he wished her a good night and slipped off to find something to eat that wasn't chocolate covered.

America was the first of the group at the hangar to reach Kate, and she smacked her in the arm. "You jerk!" she half-shouted. "We get a message you've been kidnapped and you come back like — like you spent the whole time at a co-ed slumber party!"

"I _was_ kidnapped, to be fair," Kate pointed out, readjusting the glasses on her head. "But now I'm not. So — I figured I'd like to celebrate being not locked in a freaky dungeon? Can't a girl be happy about that?"

America crossed her arms and glared. "Not until you get home so I can celebrate _with_ you, Princess. You had me worried."

"OH. _That_ ," Jubilee said with a broad grin. "She totally earned that this time out. Just FYI. Had to be rescued out of a tower and everything. Explosions. Masses of Bad Guys — that's capitalized, mind you."

"Are you sure you didn't do that on purpose, Katie?" Clint asked, shaking his head and grinning.

"If I was going to set up a dashing princess rescue, I wouldn't have scared Kurt into calling for _other people_." Kate rolled her eyes Clint's way.

"All we were missing was a dragon," Jubes said, ignoring Kate's side of the story. "We should have brought Lockheed." She threw her hands up. "If I had _known_ you were in a tower — I so totally would have. Whether Kitty liked it or not."

"Sounds like you got the full fairy tale save, princess," America said with a little smirk. "Thanks for scaring the rest of us in the meantime. I'm going to get _grays_ because of you."

"It sounds like you have neglected your best friend," Jubilee said as she peeked over her sunglasses — once again perched on the tip of her nose. "You should invite her to the ice cream party. In the Game Room. Twenty minutes — so you can wash the smell of racist castle off of you and put on something to cover your tidbits."

"Yeah, that ain't exactly a princess dress, Katie Kate," Clint said with a laugh as he gestured between the shirt Kate was wearing and a still bare-chested Kurt. "I mean, you stole it from your prince, but it's a bit short, ain't it?"

"She would have had Logan's, but it wouldn't have covered anything at all," Kurt said with a quiet laugh.

"The man is a menace to tailors everywhere," Clint said, grinning, before he crossed over to give Kate a little squeeze. "Glad you're alright. Come say hi to Lucky sometime soon so he'll quit whining." He waved at the others in the hangar and just headed out.

"I feel as if I should be partly concerned that you've come back to us half-clothed and positively filthy," Storm said with a smirk. "Your travelling companions are wearing off on you."

"I lost my favorite purple jacket too," Kate said with a bit of a pout. "But I was _not_ wearing that practically see-through gown into battle."

"We'll just have to take you shopping," she told her. "I'm sure we can find you something purple without travelling the world."

Kate broke into a grin. "Yes, I like this plan. I want to find a scarf, too — I found the _perfect_ thing and the stupid Sentinels snatched me after I _paid for it_ and everything!" She rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Insult to injury," Storm agreed, smiling softly at Kate's antics. "I'll see you for movies and ice cream if you're up for it." She turned to America. "You too."

America looked between Jubilee and Storm with a look of both dawning comprehension and pretended insult. "Is this an ongoing thing and I'm _missing_ it?"

"It so totally is," Jubilee said cheerfully. "And Princess Naked Bottom over there didn't tell you earlier, did she?"

"Just add it to the list of reasons she owes me," America said with a smirk Kate's way.

"Well, I'm telling you about it now," Jubilee told her. "And it's usually girls only."

"Well, now you're talking," America said, the smile spreading wide across her face. "Remind me to make sure you get my phone number, because _clearly_ Kate can't be trusted to tell me when these things happen."

"Clearly," Jubilee agreed, turning with a definite bounce in her step. "See you in a few!" She started to leave before she paused and turned back around to call out, "America! What kind of flicks do you like best?"

"Anything but rom-coms," America replied, pulling a little face.

"Explosions good?" Jubilee asked as she walked backwards.

"Always." America grinned.

"You guys go ahead," Kate said, chuckling and waving her friends toward each other. "I actually ... I just want to stay in tonight. With this one." She tapped Kurt in the center of the chest and leaned her head on his arm. The adrenaline of the rescue and the short dance party was gone now, and she was feeling downright drained.

"You have had her all to yourself for _days_ ," America complained loudly at Kurt, shaking her head.

"It's not my choice," Kurt replied before he just pulled Kate a bit closer to him. "But you won't find me arguing it."

Kate just leaned into Kurt a bit further. "I promise I'll invite you to the next one and we'll watch something fun I just..." She paused and shot America a pleading look. "I am totally wiped."

"Well, when you have an excuse like that," America said with a loud sigh before she just turned to Jubilee and draped an arm over her shoulder. "I'll just have to make do with you and the weather goddess, then. C'mon, let's get some popcorn."


	9. (I Won't Say) I'm in Love

**From CC: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews and the messages, as always - if you have questions, please feel free to ask them to either one of us. We talk. A lot. So chances are if you poke one of us, you'll get both anyhow as this is a shared work, and I for one don't want to answer without getting a solid weigh in from the great and powerful robbiepoo.**

 **There are lots and lots of things going on in this story, and I promise if you stick around, we'll hit everyone sooner or later. May seem like later to you, but we are writing SO far ahead right now as the muse strikes us? Well. We're happy to share it with you, and hope you enjoy it as much as we do.**

 **Having said that, griezz, you are seriously making me consider drinking a six pack and working on a pure Laura story. Apart from everything else, just work on it from her POV and see what kind of a girl she can really shape up to be when not being a weapon x flunkie or trying to copy Logan. I see potential there that simply is NOT being explored. Maybe as part of my feral series. Hmmm.**

 **From robbie: Yes. Yes, I am great and powerful. :D (now i am just saying everything in my Oz the Great and Powerful voice in my head and it's making it hard to write notes) PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE SOUTHERN GIRL BEHIND THE CURTAIN**

 **O, yes. Clothes sharing is the best. It really really is. And ScruffyLovin, this is SO FUN to write, so the fact that you're having a blast too means we're doing it right ;)**

 **But seriously, we are so excited about this. We're bringing in more characters little by little (shoutout to some of my darling Young Avengers as well as one of the many Summerses in this chapter; you will see :D) and omg. You have no idea how far ahead we have plans. We're fixing EVERYONE. No one will be safe from happiness!**

 **Ahem. Yes. Um. Read the chapter. *grins and ducks off now***

* * *

 **Chapter 9: (I Won't Say) I'm in Love**

Kate had some time to herself to take a nice, long, steaming shower while Kurt told Storm and Beast about what had happened at the castle — and about how Bastion was, at least, one less threat to worry about now, to everyone's relief.

She was snuggled deep under the covers in a silk nightgown, her hair still wrapped in the towel as she went through her phone and the usual post-crisis text messages. She got a few of these whenever she ended up in the hospital — she spent _way_ too much money keeping up the Band-Aid collection, really — and she wasn't surprised to see that about 70% of the messages were from Billy, chronicling the exact moment he got the message that she'd been kidnapped, relaying his distress that he was on the _moon_ with the Avengers but would magic himself over in a second as soon as he was done, then the string of about twenty relieved messages asking if she was okay, what had happened, did she need hugs, did she need pancakes….

Kate had to smile at herself. Billy was a good friend.

 _I'm doing just fine. Call you tomorrow and tell you all about the creepy castle and everything_ , she texted him. She'd only just sent the message before she paused, considered something, and sent another: _We need to go shopping soon. I found the perfect scarf, and I LOST it. I need it back._

She wasn't surprised at all when Billy texted back in a heartbeat. _OMG I heard you were alright but we've been worried sick! Need details!_

She chuckled and shook her head. _Tomorrow, I promise._

This time, the text back from Billy wasn't the usual instant response. _You sure you're okay?_

She let out a breath for a moment. She should have known better than to try and hide anything from one of her best friends. _Fine, really. Just super tired. You would not believe how draining creepy castle rescues are._

When Billy's response came, it was a picture of him and Teddy standing on the moon making a little heart sign at her. _Just glad you're okay,_ was the message under the picture, and she grinned.

 _Gonna need moon stories too,_ she texted him.

 _Oh no. You first._

She rolled her eyes. _Good night, Billy. I swear I'll call you tomorrow._

 _I'm literally coming over and interrupting your class if you don't call me by lunchtime._

 _You should really come anyway. The kids love laughing at grown heroes who can't shoot worth anything._

The response was another picture of her two friends, this time with the most dramatic, offended expressions on their faces that she couldn't help laughing hysterically. She really did have the best friends ever. _Talk to you tomorrow. Class starts at 1:30, and there's another one at 4:00,_ she texted him, still smiling to herself.

 _We'll be there._

Kate grinned and looked through her other messages — a few from Cassie… then there were about a dozen from Tommy, who was _upset_ that he was in _space_ in Noh-Varr's ship and couldn't just run across the globe to help with the rescue. David and Noh both sent their well wishes, too, along with promises to make Tommy calm down. She was glad Noh wasn't traveling alone anymore, but she seriously had to question his decision to invite _Tommy_ to cause trouble in space — though David could probably keep them both in line.

She finished reassuring everyone that she was _fine_ and plugged her phone in to charge — silently, so she didn't have to deal with a gazillion questions. When Kurt finally got up to the room, she had moved on to unwrapping her hair from the towel to put it away and turn in for the night. She shot him a tired little smile as she hung up the towel. "So, when are they throwing you a ticker tape parade? You and Jubes — Bastion Slaying Duo of the Year."

"Likely the day after never," Kurt replied with a little laugh. "We don't really do that kind of thing."

"Yeah, we don't really either, but hey — everyone needs a good party," Kate pointed out.

"Is that so?" he asked as he slipped into a reclining position on the bed. "What kind of party did you have in mind? Historically, they don't work out here too well."

"Oh, Jubes has told me stories," Kate said with a little smirk. "So I know generally what _not_ to do if I don't want the house to burn down or worse."

"You might want to make that into a memo and post it in the halls then," he teased with a little laugh, slipping his hands behind his head.

"They'd use it for target practice," she countered before she crawled up next to him to lay her head on his chest and tuck into his side with a long, tired sigh.

He slipped one arm down to pull her in tight before he kissed the top of her head. "They very likely would," he agreed softly. "Troublemakers, the whole group."

"And I'm the head troublemaker," she agreed, her eyes closed as she snuggled into him. "I lead them in troublemaking. My little flock," she added with obvious affection.

"Only because you're friendly with the senior crew," he teased with a laugh. "Veteran troublemakers."

She just snorted out a little laugh of her own. "Play the seniority card all you want, mister — you need all the experience you can get to keep up with me."

"I'll remember that when we go on Logan's next trip. With the troublemaking kids. To the Savage Land."

She tipped her head up and rested her chin on his chest to grin up at him. "That just sounds, like, all sorts of dangerous."

"Are you familiar with it?" Kurt asked, one eyebrow raised just the slightest.

"I haven't been there myself? But the _stories_ Clint told me one time when he got drunk — it was hilarious."

"Well, it's best experienced with Wolverine," Kurt said with a smirk. "Dinosaurs and jungle adventures. The insects are terrible, but the natives can be much worse."

"Sounds like a fun field trip," she said, smiling sedately.

"They call it a field trip, but it's really meant more to be a punishment," Kurt whispered low. "It's a survival trip. He gives them a pocket knife and tells them they have to make their way from one point to another."

"While making bets with himself on who falls into a pit first, I'm sure," Kate said.

"Naturally," Kurt agreed. "Only occasionally is he surprised by the outcome."

"I look forward to it." She laid her head back down and just snuggled in deeper. She hadn't quite gotten comfortable yet when Kurt shifted to pull up the covers and hold her a little tighter, his face in her hair for a long moment as he pulled her close.

"You scared me," Kurt said quietly. "I thought I was going to have to tear down that castle brick by brick."

She pulled her arms around his middle. "I didn't mean to scare you," she said quietly. "I'm sorry — I didn't see the guy coming. He took me off-guard before I could do anything."

He shook his head with a little frown. "There are very few that see them coming, and you had no reason to fear them," Kurt said. "They're supposed to only target mutants. I don't know why they went for you — unless …" He shrugged and looked away. "Unless it was me."

Kate paused for a long moment. "He wanted to know what my 'ties' to you were," she admitted. "And ... things like who the X-Men were, how many of you there were…" She looked up at him, wishing she could convey in just her expression how much she did _not_ blame him. "Lots of things. Not just you."

"I'm sorry you were subjected to that," he replied gently, looking as if he wanted to find a way to fix it. "I'll have to make it up to you somehow."

"Yes, do that." She let out a little breath of a quiet laugh before she very gently kissed him and added, "Bad guys are bad guys. It's not your fault if I _chose_ to get wrapped up in it."

"You really didn't spend much time making that choice," he said with a sigh, the very tips of his ears drooping just the slightest bit. "I certainly wouldn't blame you if you reconsidered."

She picked herself up off his chest to stare at him openly for a moment. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" she accused him in a nearly disbelieving tone.

"What?" He let out a huff. " _Lächerlich_." He half growled in similar disbelief as he sat up. "I would _not_. I simply meant that now ... now that you've seen what we deal with on a regular basis — you might prefer someone less ... troublesome."

"I _like_ trouble," she insisted, shaking her head at him. "I like _you_. That — that stupid… _creep_ isn't _nearly_ enough to scare me off."

He looked a bit relieved to hear it and relaxed the slightest bit as he leaned back down and pulled her to him. "I thought we might have lost you," Kurt said in a low tone in her ear.

She scooted up so she was at the level of his face rather than just below his chin so she could see him better. "Right before they put me under," she said, very quietly, "I _knew_ I'd lost you. As far as I knew, the next time I saw you? I'd kill you." She held his gaze for a long moment. "I'm _never_ going to do that again. I can't lose you, Kurt."

He leaned forward quickly to give her a kiss that lasted a lot longer than he'd intended it to. "As far as I'm concerned — and if there's anything I have to say about it? You don't have to," Kurt finally replied.

"Good." She reached up to trace a few of his curls before she kissed him back, hungrily, pulling him tight to convince herself he was still hers.

...

Kate was up earlier than usual the next morning — a cup of coffee in hand and her hair pinned up in chopsticks rather than trying to deal with brushing out the tangles from the fitful sleep. She was completely absorbed in her thoughts, staring down at the brown liquid in front of her and absently trying to brush stray strands of morning hair out of her eyes.

Rachel was just staring at her outright as she took her coffee and sat down nearby. "You _really_ need to work on not projecting, because I'm going to have to hit you."

Kate looked up in surprise before she grinned ruefully. "Sorry. It's early. For me. I wasn't trying to... I was going to come find you later, actually," she said with an embarrassed sort of shrug. "Didn't think I was screaming for help _that_ badly."

"So, _so_ loudly," Rachel replied with her eyebrows scrunched up. "The bonus is that you don't have to talk because — well. I know. I know _things._ " She gave Kate a pointed look.

Kate looked around the kitchen with a faint pink blush. "Um. Right."

"So what do you want to start with? There's like — a variety of things, and I know what I'd like to cover first," Rachel replied with her chin in the palm of her hand as she watched Kate.

"I don't… Bastion's gone, so no one has to worry about what he learned. I just ... wanted some help _not_ giving creeps like him anything?" Kate said, shifting slightly.

"Okay, psychic defense, that's good. But that's not what's tearing you up," she said reasonably.

Kate looked down at her coffee quickly.

"Relax, I won't say anything out loud," Rachel promised. _But you should know it's not one-sided._

Kate blinked up at Rachel for a long moment. _I haven't told him. I ... didn't even know myself until that creep pulled it out of my head._

Rachel smiled at her kindly. _He doesn't want to scare you off. But - around here? Even the most pig-headed X-Men figure out pretty fast that it's better to just_ — _say it. Before something awful happens to someone._ "You need a refill?" she offered.

"Oh. Yes. Thanks," Kate said quickly. She handed Rachel the mug and looked thoughtful for a long moment. _Right, because nothing says romance like_ — _hey, while I was being interrogated, I told the guy who killed you that I love you when he asked who you were to me._

Rachel laughed outright as she returned with the coffee. _You don't tell him that part, silly. Drop the Bastion parts. That doesn't matter anymore._

 _It matters to me,_ Kate admitted. _I've never told_ anyone _that._

 _But it won't matter to him,_ Rachel projected back. _And the only reason you never told anyone else is because they were all idiots. It's not that you didn't feel that way._

Kate took a long drink from the new mug. _So you're saying I should light a fire under it before I accidentally tell another bad guy before I tell Kurt, huh?_

"Just be honest," Rachel said gently. "Confess."

"Oh, don't — don't — that's a mental image I can't undo, but I can sure make sure you see it too if I think it hard enough."

Rachel started to giggle. "I can undo it if it bothers you that much," Rachel told her with a grin. _But you have to tell him._

 _Fine._ Kate made a face at Rachel. "Just tell me when to meet up with you for defense lessons, seeing as that was what I was going to ask anyway."

"We can do it now," Rachel said. "Just try to not project that image. And if you can't stop, I'll make him dance."

"You are _horrible_." Kate covered her face with her hands. "You've made it _worse_."

"Okay, well, how about we call it lunchtime, and we'll start with some better blocks ... and removal of a certain mental … um. Dance." Rachel looked surprised for a moment. "Which — as I understand it. Is a discussion. A dance. Or a party. Whatever."

"Yes on all counts," Kate said, saluting Rachel with her mug. "Maybe I'll be _awake_ by then too." She shook her head and then stood up to leave, grabbing a bagel on the way. "I have a few friends to call before lunch anyway, or they'll have my hide."

"Fair enough. See you soon," Rachel replied with a bright smile.

...

Over the course of the next few days, the school fell into a different kind of flurry of activity as the students were prepping for tests, the leaves were starting to turn in earnest, and even the teachers were having to work a bit harder as it was just that time of year — and with no serious threats calling the X-Men's attention, it was just… homework and training with the occasional mission thrown in.

So at first, when Kurt saw that Kate had taken over a desk in the corner of their room, he thought she might be working on her first lesson for Kitty's tech class — until he realized that she had a small stack of manilla folders and a few books that she'd torn the covers off of as if she was mad at them. A few of them looked to have been used as target practice, too.

"I wasn't aware that the publishing industry was so aggressive," Kurt said as he poked his head over her shoulder. "If you need a secretary, perhaps we can talk Logan into helping you."

She snorted and absently reached behind her to ruffle his curls, not looking up from what she was doing as she had a pen between her teeth and an entire pot of coffee on her desk. "As amazing as that mental image is? It's his fault I'm wading through the backlog in the first place," she said as she closed the folder she was looking at and shoved it aside.

He stiffened slightly and let out his breath. "Ah. Well, perhaps I can help you clean the mess somehow? Is there something I can do to ease the burden?"

She grinned and turned to face him so she could kiss his cheek. "Not unless you've got a law degree I don't know about," she teased him. "I already have Jenny Walters on my speed dial."

"No, but I do know another lawyer," he replied. "Matt Murdock is wonderful too. He handles much of our business — and for him, that means business is always good"

"I'll give him a call," she promised and kissed his cheek again. "These contracts are making me go cross-eyed. Had to check on my aim," she said, indicating the book with all the arrow marks in it.

"Ah. well. Perhaps a momentary change of scenery is in order. We could take the boat on the lake and try for that picnic that never happened," he offered with a sly grin.

She smiled wider at that and kissed him properly, pushing aside the books and papers. "Well how could I possibly say no to that? We've been trying to have that picnic for ages." She kissed him again. "Unsuccessfully."

He returned the kisses and started to work his way to her ear. "I have no idea why we can't seem to manage something so simple. I must be doing something terribly wrong. But I shall try again."

She let out a soft giggle. "Oh no — I think you're definitely on the right track," she said, grinning.

"Bring your books if you must. I'd hate to interrupt such serious work," he told her. "And — you're terribly cute with your pen between your teeth like that."

She laughed and kissed the tip of his nose. "Oh, I'm not bringing those unless I get to dump them in the lake. They're _horribly_ written. Just terrible. What was Daddy thinking?"

He frowned as he looked over her shoulder at the pile. One of them in the stack near the top had been on the bestseller list not too long ago. "I'm sure he had no idea what he was doing," he agreed.

"We just have very different taste," Kate said, pulling him down to kiss her and draw his attention back.

"Apparently," he agreed with a smile. "Not that I'm complaining in the least."

"There's a few good ones," Kate had to admit as she sat on the desk so she could reach him better — he was so much taller than she was. "And I'm looking for some new authors too. Know anyone who loves to read who might have a few suggestions?" she teased.

"Storm I'm sure, would help you with anything in that area. She always has a book in her hand," he suggested. "Though I might be persuaded for a price to set down my swords for a moment. Since you already said you didn't want Logan's help."

She hit him with the full force of a wide, teasing grin. "Ooh, a business proposition," she said. "Shall we begin negotiations?" she added as she leaned forward to kiss the edge of his ears.

"If that's how you're going to negotiate, then I think I might not be well equipped for this discussion," he teased as he simply pulled her in tightly.

"Then it's a hostile takeover. My favorite," she laughed before she just started to kiss him in earnest.

It had been another few days, and Kate was just coming in from her archery class, her little flock of hawkeyes following in her wake, when Kurt, Logan, and Storm seemed to be in a rush to get out. Logan and Storm slipped ahead as Kurt took just a moment to steal a quick kiss on his way out of the door.

"Just a quick mission," he promised. "We won't be too long."

"Pick me up something nice while you're out," she teased, unconcerned — since this sort of thing happened all the time in their business, after all.

"I'll see what I can do about that," he replied with a broad smile, though when he got up to Logan and Storm again, Logan slapped him in the back of the head with no explanation before the three of them disappeared in a poof of smoke to load up in the blackbird.

She shook her head at the ridiculous scene and stepped into the kitchen, where Bobby had a pot of coffee waiting for her. He'd already learned that she would be in a much better mood if he had it ready at the end of her class. "So, who are we going after this week?" he asked with a smirk when she'd gotten through half a cup. "Or do you just want to raid Hank's Twinkie stash again?"

"They're both such good options," she said with a grin as she leaned against the counter. "I heard Spidey's been checking all the doors he goes through, though — since we haven't gotten him in a while. Maybe we should ease his mind."

"Which is really funny on its own when you figure in that his spidey sense should warn him anyhow," Bobby pointed out with an ear-splitting grin. "Making a guy distrust his own senses."

"We're just that good," Kate agreed, laughing quietly over the top of her cup.

"If we really want to be terrors, we should ask for Jubilee's help too."

She grinned even wider at that. "Oh, I'm _sure_ she'd help us. I gotta talk to her anyway about our Halloween costume plans."

"Do you know what you're going to do?" he asked curiously as he poured himself a cup. "I haven't decided yet."

"For the costume? Totally." Kate waved her hand at him. "She and I had the idea, like, weeks ago. For Halloween itself?" She shrugged. "I dunno. I always drop by the other Hawkeye's place to harass him for candy at some point — gotta keep up the tradition."

"Does he hand out anything good? Because I will join you on my tour de superhero soiree. Fantastic Four usually puts on a good party, and Johnny and I make fog just to screw with Reed's music set up." He chuckled. "Turns out _actual fog_ is really bad for the equipment."

Kate laughed and just shook her head at the mental image. "Well, Clint passes out full-size candy bars. He tried to get out of it one year, and the neighborhood kids nearly revolted at the fun-size stuff."

"Awesome," Bobby replied. "No wonder he's broke all the time."

"He is very, very bad at keeping track of money," Kate agreed with a little smirk. "Not that I can talk."

"We very rarely get any trick or treaters here - just a few of the kids from town come out, but Storm rewards them handsomely for the trip." He tipped his head her way with his eyebrows raised. "She's in charge of ambiance."

Kate grinned even wider at that thought. "A place this big with thunderstorms and spiderwebs and decorations…. Oh, I bet teenagers come here on dares just to get scared off."

"Inhabited by monsters to boot — and that's about the sum of it. We have a few that come back every year once they got the loads of candy she gives out — but most of them don't want anything to do with the place, even if we're on good terms with them." He picked up the remote and flipped the television to the news as he did every time he got near one.

"Their loss," Kate replied with a long sigh, looking around the kitchen with a thoughtful expression before she turned back to Bobby. "And our gain — we get the leftover candy."

"Yeah, though with Jubilee back to her old self, I still wouldn't be surprised if we had a sugar shortage," he replied, half-distracted as he turned the volume up to a level that normal people could hear. "Always with the rhetoric on these stupid broadcasts. Still can't believe they put JJ on a panel. Parker has fits every time he comes on screen."

"You wouldn't believe half the stuff people get away with writ - saying these days," Kate agreed, watching the newcast now with half an eye on the ticker tape headlines underneath J. Jonah Jameson's angry expression as JJ ranted about the "mutant menace" of the X-Men — an argument he seemed to be making more now that Spidey was running with them more often.

"You know, it was almost easier before Spidey got involved with us?" Bobby said conversationally. "I love the guy, but man. He brings the heat with him. Makes me wanna ice that creep into a block."

"I'll bring Pete along so he can take pictures," Kate said with a little smirk.

"JJ might figure out the game when he buys the pics later from Peter Parker though."

"Oh no." Kate was grinning wide now. "We'll sell it to him like this — see, cute little Petey was looking for a story. And well, he saw you and me on the trail and followed us and he was just _helpless_ to stop us from icing his boss — but it's a _news story,_ so he _had_ to take pictures."

"You really underestimate Pete," Bobby said with a smile. "He'd want a selfie with his mask on next to the JJ ice block."

"Well." Kate paused and took another sip of coffee. "We won't sell JJ _that_ one."

Bobby grinned her way for a moment. "See, now I'm already figuring out how to make it happen so it seems organic and not premeditated at all."

"I'm sure if we put our heads together with Peter, we can come up with something _amazing_."

Bobby just laughed before he glanced up at the screen. "Oh look — your boyfriend's making national news."

Kate looked up quickly in surprise for a moment to see Kurt, along with the other two who had headed out that morning, with Captain America and a few other Avengers, just making an appearance to show some solidarity between the different groups of heroes after all the crazy that had been going on in recent years. "That is my favorite suit on him," she said with a little smirk. "He always looks good in it."

"He agrees, or he wouldn't wear it for so many of these things," Bobby said with a laugh as Cap took a moment to address some questions from the gathered crowd, though when it came time to hear his answer, the news channel obscured what he had to say under a simplified explanation of why they were gathered at all. "They always block someone when they say something pro-mutant. Even Cap." He was wearing a solid frown as he grumbled, his arms crossed.

"Cap's going to be ticked off when he watches the footage," Kate said. "Last time someone tried to censor him, he put his shield in a wall."

"Twenty bucks says half the reason they're doing it so hard is because he's got Logan right next to him. They have no idea those two are friends."

"Someone should clue them in," Kate said thoughtfully.

"That would probably require finding old war-time pictures of the two of them drinking and having a good time," Bobby told her with a smirk.

"A historical documentary, then," Kate agreed.

"Of course, neither one of them would agree to it," Bobby said with a shrug. "So it'd have to be an expose."

"Probably need to hire a PI," Kate said, the smirk growing.

"Yeah, probably," he replied with a smirk, knowing full well what she was up to. "Wonder if Jessica Jones is free? Or Melita Garner. She had a bunch of stuff already dug up — but … she might be hard to talk to."

She made a face at him. "Oh sure, if you want to ask someone _experienced_ ," she teased. She leaned back and watched as the crowd seemed to be getting more restless during the question-and-answer portion of the coverage. "Honestly, though. Someone should really tell people what's _actually_ going on," she said almost under her breath.

Bobby didn't even laugh at that, instead just nodding solemnly. "Yeah. But who the heck would believe them with all this bad press? I mean — if Captain America can't get them to listen?" He shook his head and rubbed his face with the palm of his hands. "This sucks."

"It does," Kate agreed. "It really, really does."

Cap had stepped back from the podium, and he and Logan seemed to share a word privately as the reporters picked up their commentary — when there was an explosion near the front of the stage. Logan stepped in front of Cap to shield him from the blast as fire filled the screen.

" _What happened_?" Kate half-hissed out, as if Bobby knew. Her eyes were wide as she grabbed the remote out of his hands and turned the volume up higher, drawing the attention of several of the students nearby.

But all she or anyone else could hear was sirens and commentary from the reporters. The camera panned quickly to the reporter on the street — away from the scene on the makeshift stage.

"Oh, someone is in trouble," Bobby said, sitting up straighter. "And they didn't want to show what should have been a dead burn victim beating down some creep with a fire bomb."

"What about everyone else?" Kate whispered. She had gone rather still, and her gaze was locked on the screen.

"Don't know yet; wait to see if they pan back to the stage," Bobby replied quietly. Almost in answer to her question, the rain started up at the scene of the explosion, to the absolute confusion of the reporter on screen, and when the camera panned back to show Storm, white-eyed and commanding, a few feet above the center of the stage, with rain and thunder pouring down around her, the damage was finally visible.

Half of the stage had been more or less destroyed, and although the flames were being put out, Cap was nowhere to be seen and Captain Marvel was looking over Kurt's arm — half of the top of his uniform was scorched off, and he very clearly had lost some of his curls. Several Avengers had been burnt in the blast too, and they were looking after each other while, apparently, according to the commentary, Cap and Wolverine had already chased down the suspect and had him captured.

The camera cut away from the stage to show the two of them hauling a man over toward the police, but it was incredibly clear that Logan was _livid,_ even without figuring in the large sections of his uniform that had gone missing — or the reddened skin that was quickly turning its usual pale tone.

But the news commentary simply credited Captain America in his fast action and totally ignored the other half of the duo, immediately going into Cap's long list of achievements to fill air time.

"Okay," Bobby said quietly. "I'll ... let Hank know we've got incoming."

Kate sat down, the coffee entirely abandoned on the kitchen counter as she watched the news run through what had happened — with their own spin, of course. "I'll… meet you in the hangar when they get here," she managed at last.

When the jet landed, Kate, Bobby, and Hank were all waiting in the hangar to greet the scorched trio. Logan was fully healed but still fuming as he helped Storm out of the jet — apparently with a twisted ankle. Kurt looked fine aside from the burns on his arm, but he was just disheartened.

Kate was at Kurt's side in a flash, stopping just short of reaching up to touch where his curls had been singed off in places with a look between anger and worry. "We saw what happened," she said in a rush. "Are you alright? Do you need anything? Let's get you to Hank."

"I'm fine," he said with a little sigh. "I had just hoped that this would help matters if we got Captain America backing us." He shook his head and kept his gaze to the ground with a frown. "I should have known better."

She stopped him in his tracks with her hand in his and pulled on the arm that wasn't singed to get him to face her properly before she just stood on her toes to kiss him as gently as she knew how and for as long as she felt he needed it. "No one died, and no one came back unconscious or — or anything worse than some burns, and it could have been worse, and you _scared me_ ," she said, her entire sentence coming out in one long breath as soon as she'd finished kissing him. She only paused long enough to inhale before she just leaned up to kiss him again, gentle and warm and just trying to help.

When the kiss broke, he just held her close for a moment and nestled into her hair. "It was not my intention to scare you, _liebling,_ " he said in a sigh. "I was trying to make things better."

She kept her arms around his shoulders and rested her head on his chest as well. "And never stop trying, you beautiful Elf. Just — make sure to come home. That was _not_ fun. At all."

"It was my intention to come home all along," he assured her before he gave her a good squeeze and kissed the top of her head. "I'm not a fan of suicide missions — even those that end up simply being political."

"Good," she said with a little sigh before she popped up to steal another kiss. "Because you need to stick around. For ... reasons."

Kurt let out a bit of a chuckle. "And what reasons are those?" he asked, and with her focus on just gently kissing him, she couldn't see the sparkle in his eyes.

She stopped standing up on her toes and came down to her usual height, looking up at him for a good long moment as she seemed to be trying to come up with the right words. "Well, I ... for one thing… It's just that— " She let out a little breath, gave up her futile approach, and then smiled. "Well, you'd miss the _costume party_ I'm totally going to throw for Halloween."

He simply looked surprised for a beat before a broad, cheerful grin spread across his face. "That sounds ... _wunderbar._ How long have you been planning it?"

"Not very long," she admitted with a shy sort of smile. "Bobby and I were actually just… We were talking about Halloween plans, and I thought it would be nice…"

"Well it sounds like the perfect distraction," he agreed with a cheerful laugh.

"Great!" She stood up on her toes again to kiss his cheek. "We'll have to get you a costume. I've already got one."

"Don't you worry about that," he told her, his grin broader still. "I'll take care of that on my own."

She laughed delightedly. "I can't wait to see it," she said. "I just hope you'll be able to recognize me in the crowd once we get all costumed up," she added with a little troublemaking smirk.


	10. The Other Other Hawkeye

**From robbie: Thanks to O and ScruffyLovin for keeping up with us. We're kinda totally loving all the fluff, and it's only going to keep going. Because we love fluff. And we love this fic. And we can't stop, won't stop. And also, yes, Kurt HAS to be a pirate. But… CC is excited about this one ;)**

 **From CC: And now. NOW we get into my crackship - HA! Yes. Get on this EVERYONE. Noh and Jubes. Pass it on! Seriously. I've decided this is the only way. Thanks for the reviews, O and Scruffy - yes. Kurt is predictable. Sadly. But not too sadly because - pirate Elf. Come on. It's beautiful. I like the fluff almost as much as the next girl, but … action makes me happy. So. We'll hit a little of everything bit by bit.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10: The Other Other Hawkeye**

"Okay, wait. There's just one more detail I gotta add to yours," Kate said. She and Jubilee were helping each other with their costumes for the Halloween party, and Kate's phone was on the table next to them as she waited for one last confirmation that Warbird was indeed still in space and not anywhere near the party before she'd let Noh-Varr within a hundred yards of the mansion. DJ or not, she'd send him right back if she thought there was going to be _that_ kind of trouble.

With a little flourish, Kate pulled out a purple scarf. It wasn't _quite_ as perfect as the one she'd found at the festival a few weeks back, but it was perfect for a debut, anyway, and she arranged it just so over Jubilee's exposed shoulders with a wide grin. "There. I'm bringing back the scarf look," she said with a little nod.

Jubilee took the opportunity to finish Kate's 'costume' as she texted her friends, fixing Kate's hair into curly-bottomed pigtails. She arranged the pink sunglasses and popped the collar on the yellow trench coat before she cleared her throat and held up three different flavors of bubble gum. "So. Original, Strawberry, or Grape?"

"Oh, I'll save grape for when people start to figure out what we're up to. Purple bubbles might give me away," Kate said, snatching an original piece. She popped the gum in her mouth and blew a bubble, giggling after it popped as she looked over Jubilee, who fit the purple jumpsuit perfectly and even had her hip cocked to one side and a little confident smirk on as she tossed her flat iron-straightened hair over her shoulder. With purple aviators to complete the look, the two of them really could have passed for each other to even those that knew them best — until you looked closer, of course.

"This is the best costume idea _ever,_ " Jubilee said as the two of them looked themselves over in the full length mirror.

Kate nodded her agreement with a little bounce to her step. "We are _pros_ at masquerades. Clearly," she teased, then spun around once with her arms outstretched. "How terrified do you think Kurt would be if I just ran over and kissed him hard like this?"

"Oooooh, if you're going to do that, I'm going to need to be ready with the camera. He'll take a hug — but a kiss?" Jubilee cackled gleefully as she rubbed her hands together.

"Make sure the lighting is right. I want to capture the _deep purple_ he turns when it happens," Kate said, practically tenting her fingers.

"Yes. Yes, excellent," Jubilee agreed as she cocked her hip to one side and peeked over the purple aviators. "I love this plan."

"We're evil geniuses, my friend," Kate agreed as she held the door open for Jubilee, pocketing her cell phone. "DJ's on the way to get the party started," she informed her.

"Should we change cell cases too? Just - to start with," Jubilee asked as she glanced over at Kate. "For those that pay attention to detail."

"Ooh, this is true. I've got a little flock of hawkeyes that might spoil the surprise," Kate said with a quiet laugh before she pulled the purple case with silver stars off for Jubilee's glittery liquid waterfall case filled with yellow glitter and pink stars. "I mean, they're not up to my level, but they try so very hard."

"Well — there are _some_ staff members that have refused to participate in the costumes? So it won't be too far of a stretch for us to be like this down there," Jubilee said before she shook her head ruefully. "I tried. Really, I did."

"And we all appreciate your efforts," Kate said, smiling. "I'm just excited to see what Billy and Teddy are this year. They promised to swing by, and they always have matching set costumes. It's _unbearably cute_."

"Oooooh, fun!" she giggled out. "I love couples costumes."

"Next year, maybe I'll find some blue paint and pointy ears," Kate teased.

"You know if you really wanted to go all out, I'm pretty sure I know a mutant or two that can bend reality ... probabilities …. You could totally BE a little blue elf for the night."

"If I ever go all out on that front, I've got a reality-bender on speed dial. Number Two," Kate countered.

"And we have his mother in the system. She's easy enough to work with," Jubilee replied. "And she is really good about teasing Kurt."

Kate just grinned and shrugged lightly. "We'll see where we are a year from now. For now? Let's go blow some people's minds with our epic costume skills." With that, the two of them just started their triumphant strut down the halls.

The first person they found was Bobby — in the kitchen with Logan, who was determined to ignore the group of partygoers as he plunked down two cases of beer for Bobby to chill for him before he disappeared to the lower levels with Henry for the night.

The old Spiderman costume that Bobby had commandeered just _barely_ fit him, and he had the mask up over his face as he complained about the way that it felt. "How the heck can he handle this stupid thing on his face?" he complained. "It itches and - _smells_. Ugh."

Kate jumped up to sit on the counter and popped a bubble. "Didn't you wash that thing before you borrowed it, silly?" she asked in a giggling tone that sounded very much like Jubilee.

He glanced up and did a bit of a double take before he leaned toward her with a look of disbelief. "Oh man. That … that is just …. Okay. You two win. I don't even need to look at anyone else's outfits. That is just spooky."

The two girls high-fived each other and turned the force of a double grin his way. "I think you mean _awesome_ ," Kate corrected him, cackling.

"Oh yeah, that's totally what I mean," he replied with a broad grin. "And for the record? I did wash this stupid thing — like four times. I think he gave it to me because it was so … shot."

"Sounds like a Spidey thing to do," Jubilee laughed. "What's _he_ going as, anyway?"

"J. Jonah Jameson," Bobby said with a laugh. "He's been calling everyone a menace for the past hour. Shouting and wiggling his fake mustache. It's pretty funny."

"How long do you think before he loses his voice?" Kate laughed.

"No telling. He's alternating between outraged shouts and under his breath grumbling. It's glorious."

"We're clearly missing the show," Jubilee said and grabbed Kate's hand. "Aren't you going to at least laugh at Spidey, Wolvie?" she shot Logan's way.

"I do that every day, darlin'," he replied before he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Try not to bring the house down." He took a few steps toward the hall, then paused and backtracked to do the same to Kate. "Good luck. You should fool all of 'em."

"Good thing the two super sniffers are sitting out the party and can't blow our cover," she agreed with a smirk.

"Wouldn't blow it anyhow," Logan said with a smirk. "It's too good of a switch." With that, he headed off down the hall, a case of beer in each hand.

Kate beamed at Logan's retreating back and then turned to Jubilee. "C'mon. I have an Elf to kiss and turn purple. And then there will be _so_ much dancing."

"I hope your DJ's up to snuff. I miss raves," she said with a sparkling grin.

"If _he_ wasn't coming as Ziggy Stardust?" Kate said with a little smirk. "He'd be shirtless. I gotta take you to a party with him DJ'ing sometime. He's hilarious."

"Oh, please," she said with a grin. "You should see my rave outfit. It's _ah-may-zing."_

"He's gonna be in Jersey next Saturday night. We are so taking a girls' night to go party," Kate agreed.

"Yes!" She squealed before she wrapped Kate up in a hug. "Oh that — I have always wanted to hug myself."

Kate giggled. "And I'm just sitting here laughing at how hilarious I am excited," she shot back. "You've got the bounce and everything. This will be — oh man. I love it so much."

Jubilee shimmied just a bit and linked arms with her. "Then let's go in and blow them all away."

By the time the two girls arrived, the music had already started, and the entire mansion — minus a few party poopers downstairs with beer — was in full swing. Storm was absolutely stunning in the full Hathor getup — the Egyptian goddess of love — and was teasing Kitty, who had some of the best zombie makeup on, to match Peter Quill's. Kate saw a few of the kids dressed as various Avengers or X-Men, too — and had to giggle when she recognized one little Hawkeye as the girl she'd helped rescue in Canada who stole her gloves.

"Shall we go say hi to the DJ? Request a song and put on a little fireworks show?" Kate asked.

"Yes, please — that sounds like fun," Jubilee agreed.

The two of them, still linked at the arms, made their way over to Noh, whose costume came complete with the lightning bolt and who was grinning at both of them like he was having the time of his life. "I had to rush the setup when you wouldn't let me in until the _last minute_ ," he told Jubilee, shaking his head at her as he only half looked up from the records he was sifting through. "But lucky for you, this place has _amazing_ acoustics."

"Well we've never had any complaints before," she said with a grin. "Can I make a request before you get too wrapped up in your playlist?"

Noh looked up from the records and just grinned. "Anything you want," he told her.

"Do you have any Daft Punk?"

Noh looked surprised as he paused in sifting through the records. "Well, yes, but — that's not usually what you…" He tipped his head at the pair of them and, as he finally looked closer, the understanding dawned, and he broke into a long laugh. "Where are my manners? I should introduce myself to Kate's doppelganger," he said as he extended his hand. "I'm Noh-Varr."

"Clearly you're confused," Jubilee said. "I was here first." She stuck her tongue out at Kate before she took his hand. "Jubilee."

"Well, Jubilee, I shall play your Daft Punk — and then I'd like to request a dance so I can get to know you better without making any further assumptions," he said with a little grin before he turned back to his records.

"I'm going to hold you to it, mister," she called out over her shoulder as she bopped off.

"Careful, Jubes," Kate said with a little smirk. "He's a flirt, and he's an idiot, and he's my ex."

"I have been a vampire for ten years," Jubliee said, waving her hand at Kate. "Believe me, I know how to play." She laughed a little bit. "I even made Bobby wet his pants when I flirted with him."

"Just doing my girfriend duty," Kate said with a laugh to match. "He's _so_ fun, but he's so flighty. Be warned."

"I'm kinda flighty a bit myself right now," Jubilee admitted. "So we'll just play it by ear. I could use some fun."

"He could too," Kate said with a smile, glancing toward the grinning DJ. "He might be an idiot, but I still love him to pieces. Don't break him."

"You do, huh?" Jubilee said, giving Kate a one-raised-eyebrow look over her own sunglasses.

"Oh, not _that_ way," Kate said quickly, shaking her head with both hands up in front of her. "Not anymore. No — no, no. I just meant — you know. Like I love Billy or Cassie or you?"

"You have not played tonsil hockey with me," Jubilee said.

"Or with Billy or Cassie," Kate said firmly. "That's the point. Totally different thing here."

"Okay, gotcha," Jubilee said, nodding thoughtfully before she broke out into a huge grin and threw her arm over Kate's shoulders. "Don't worry — I won't use my massively awesome skills to break your friend."

Kate grinned. "No — but you _should_ use your massively awesome skills to help me pretend to put on a sparkler show."

"That — I can do," she said. "You have a place picked out?" She let Kate take the lead as she slipped behind her.

"There's a spot just behind the punch bowl where they wouldn't even see you in the window reflection," Kate said, then paused and had to smirk. "And not just because you have one of those now. I figured the angles on this one the old-fashioned Hawkeye way."

"Oh, that is hilarious! A vampire joke! Ha!" Jubilee chuckled as she shook her head. "Though it would have been a lot funnier before Reed and Hank fixed me."

"Well, we weren't best friends back then," Kate teased. "You were still trying to decide if I ranked on Logan's cell phone."

"Terrible shame too," Jubilee said. "Which, doesn't matter anymore now that I upgraded his phone and it's all voice activated." She ducked down as Kate put her hands behind her back before Jubilee threaded her arms through the loops Kate made. "Ready when you are, Jubilation."

"Give it a whirl, Katherine," was the giggled response a heartbeat before Jubilee let loose a beautiful shower of sparks and explosions over the center of the dancefloor.

"I used to do this for money when I was a kid," she admitted over Kate's shoulder.

"So you were _always_ the life of the party," Kate said, smiling.

"Born that way," Jubilee replied with a giggle. "Can't help it."

As the last shower of sparks filled the room to raucous cheers, little purplish-blue puffs of smoke began to appear around the room before a much larger puff appeared on top of the chandelier, where Kurt and his bamfs had all but surrounded the entire population of the party — dressed to the nines as pirates, the whole group. The bamfs had little bandannas and eye patches, tiny swords and huge belt buckles. Some of them even had little pirate boots as they growled at everyone around them. Kurt had gone all out and had a full pirate captain ensemble, complete with a detailed velvet jacket and open-chested white muslin shirt, his tricot hat dipped down partway over his eyes — and one bamf perched on his shoulder dressed as a parrot who kept screeching out 'bamf'.

Kurt looked around the room with a wicked grin before he did a backflip off the chandelier and bamfed just before he would have hit the ground — only to reappear next to 'Kate'.

He seized her up by the waist as he announced to his little audience, "Avast, me loyal crew — I have found the prize jewel!" He tipped his hat with a little wink. "And I'll be relieving this little soiree of their valuables now," he added as he swept her up off her feet.

Jubilee squeaked as Kurt picked her up and gave Kate a clear look of 'Help'.

Kate was laughing as she pointed a finger at Kurt and tried very hard to stay in 'Jubilee' character. "Oh no. You have to fight me for my dance buddy," she said as she put one hand on her hip and waggled her finger.

"I'll take that challenge," he said with a laugh as he set Jubilee down and spun her behind him.

Kate just beamed broadly before she took a running leap and flung her arms around Kurt's neck. At first he just laughed to return the hug, but then when Kate pressed her lips to his and just started to kiss him _passionately_ , he was entirely caught off-guard and very, very confused as he pulled back away from her and just ... tried to figure out what had just happened.

Jubilee burst into laughter behind them, totally on the floor, holding her stomach as she tried to keep at least partway upright. "Oh my God, the look on your _face!_ Oh man! I wish Wolvie had seen this!"

Kurt looked between the two of them as the understanding dawned and he broke into a little, almost self-conscious laugh before this time he swept the real Kate up as he'd done to Jubilee before. "My congratulations on your superior costume skills, ladies," he said before he teleported away with Kate to the middle of the dance floor.

Kate was still giggling as he set her down. "Your face… so _purple_ ," she said between giggles, unable to contain herself.

"That was cruel," he replied with a laugh, still a bit purple across his cheekbones. "You two should _not_ be allowed to spend time alone."

"We can't help that we're so amazing. Clearly the only reason this teamup hasn't happened sooner is the world just wasn't ready," Kate countered, trailing the tips of her fingers over the light purple blush before she kissed him. "But you've totally blown our cover, my dear Elf."

"I'm not even a little bit sorry," he replied before he kissed her and then pulled her into a spin on the dance floor. "Would it be too forward to take you for a dance before I pull you out of this soiree and make you pay for your wildly successful deception?"

"I suppose a dance or three wouldn't hurt," she teased.

He smiled her way before leaning in for another kiss, just taking her around the dance floor in wide, sweeping turns until—

"KATE!" Tommy Shepherd ran over to pull on her arm. "You — sneaky so and so. I would totally not have recognized you except for your date. Hi, Nightcrawler, by the way. Nice digs."

"Welcome to our home," Kurt replied, looking up from Kate with a polite smile. "It's not usually this … festive."

"It's _sweet_." Tommy looked around the place with a huge grin before he pulled on Kate's arm again. "C'mon. You gotta say hi to Billy and Teddy," he told her.

Kurt just grinned at his antics before he twirled her to Tommy and bowed deeply. "Thank you for the dance, _frauline_ ," he said, winking at Kate before he disappeared in a pouf of smoke to leave her to her friend.

He didn't get very far before two more of her friends caught up to him, though. "You're still treating her right, aren't you, Nightcrawler?" said a big, grinning blonde who was dressed as Prince Charming. The slight, dark-haired boy next to him, Eric from the _Little Mermaid_ , was grinning wide and unable to match the big-brother glare on Teddy's face.

" _Na sicher,_ " Kurt replied with a crooked smile. "I wouldn't dream of mistreating her in any way." He looked the two of them up and down. "Are you enjoying the party she pulled together?"

"I love it," Billy said with a wide grin. "You've really got the place all decked out."

"It's kind of amazing," Teddy agreed, looking around the room. "Must be awesome to _live_ here."

"Most of the time, yes," Kurt admitted with a little laugh before he removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair. "I take it this is fairly normal for your little group? The extravagant parties?"

"When we were running in space? Oh yeah." Billy grinned a little bit. "We went to an alternate dimension Dazzler party once that took us _days_ to recover from."

"But nothing like this," Teddy said. "I mean. This is the _X-Mansion_. At Halloween!" The two boys grinned at each other. "So cool."

Kurt returned the smile and replaced his hat before he looked past them at the party that was just starting to get underway properly. "Would you like a look around? I could show you the highlights," he offered, only breaking into a wider smile when he could see the pure delight in their expressions at the idea.

"Yes please," Teddy said, grinning. The two boys looked almost exactly like excited students on a field trip — Kurt had seen that look many times before on kids at the school, and it was simply charming to watch them light up.

Kurt nodded and put on his best showmanship as he swept his arm out to lead them through the place, starting with the most obvious directly around them and then leading them through the vast halls, gesturing here and there to the more significant rooms — like Charles' old office.

The little bamfs joined in the tour enthusiastically and were sure to try to make sure the boys saw the sights that they felt were most important, sometimes even seizing one of them with both hands on either side of their faces to properly point them — usually at some small and insignificant detail that, unless you were a bamf and knew that those curtains were the first ones they destroyed when they moved into the mansion, made very little sense.

Finally, after the bamfs had been sure to show the boys the window they'd broken playing baseball yesterday, Kurt turned to ask if they'd like to see the blackbird sub-level.

"Would we!" they said, practically in unison.

Kurt grinned broadly before he stepped up to them, laid a hand on each of their shoulders, and teleported them to the hangar. "And to your immediate left is our little jet," he said as soon as the smoke had cleared a bit to reveal that they were standing under its wing.

"Little," Teddy repeated under his breath to Billy, who was grinning wide.

"Kate doesn't do the teleporting justice. That is… that's a whole new sensation," Billy said, shaking his head as Teddy looked over the jet. "I like my method better."

"I'm a little partial to it myself," Teddy said with a grin and a wink as Billy caught up to him to look over the blackbird.

"Everyone prefers their own flavor," Kurt said, shaking his head, before he opened the hatch to let them step in and take a look around. "I'm not sure what else you'd like to see down here, really. To appreciate the Danger Room, I'd imagine you'd need your uniforms — not your costumes — and some time that I'm sure you'd rather spend with your friends than fighting imaginary bad guys. Perhaps next time?"

"Oh for sure," Billy agreed quickly, all but bouncing in place.

"Other than the jet, the only thing I can show the two of you at this point would be the labs - and that isn't going to be much fun any day of the week, let alone while Henry and Logan are hiding there to avoid the crowd." Kurt shrugged. "Unless you have suggestions?"

"Oh, we wouldn't want to intrude any more," Billy said quickly.

"Yeah, you've been real great just to show us around. I'm sure we're just ... wide-eyed kids to you," Teddy said.

"Nonsense," Kurt said with a frown, dismissing the idea in an instant. Their wide-eyed excitement was charming, not childish. "Any friend of Kate's is a friend of mine," he added before he paused, smiled softly, and just had to chuckle. "But, honestly, after the little trick Kate and Jubilee played, I think I could use a drink." The bamfs giggled delightedly at the admission, sure that this meant they were going to get to play with their favorite whiskey-sharing Wolverine.

"She's horrible sometimes," Billy agreed, nodding sagely. "She likes to pretend she's the most mature out of all of us, but she is _not_."

Kurt couldn't help but smirk at that before he turned to face the two boys. "Well, you have your choice — you can wait here, as long as you don't touch any buttons or levers ... or go with me to the lab, where I know there is cold beer."

"What do you think?" Billy asked Teddy, his eyes sparkling.

"I think we should go along with Kate's boyfriend and make sure he doesn't get in trouble," was the half-chuckled response.

" _Wunderbar_ ," Kurt said with a grin before teleporting them to the lab, where Logan and Hank were no longer playing cards and were instead throwing poker chips at each other as each called the other a cheater. At the pouf of brimstone, though, both of them paused and glanced over at the three newcomers.

Logan waited half a beat before he reached down and whipped a beer to Kurt. "The girls get to you yet?" he asked as the bamfs teleported over to steal some beer for themselves as well.

Kurt had to grin — of course Logan would know about that before he did. "It's a very convincing switch, but when Kate kissed me, it was impossible not to know which was which," he replied, as the parrot bamf on his shoulder cackled with an impish, obviously teasing grin.

Logan chuckled at that before he looked to the two kids with Kurt and gave them both a raised eyebrow. "How old are you?"

"I think he just asked us for ID, Teddy," Billy said with a laugh.

"You look twelve," Logan replied.

"Add another decade there, Wolverine," Teddy said, grinning — as both boys were obviously still on a high from their Nightcrawler-guided tour.

Logan nodded once and reached down again to whip a can to each of them with a muttered 'think fast' before he asked, "You three here for a minute, or are you just raiding the stash and heading off?"

"Just one round for me, I think," Kurt admitted as he sat down next to his old friend. "The boys wanted a look around, so I thought I'd try to play host." He looked over to the two of them and waved them over. "Grab a seat; this won't take long."

"What's the game?" Teddy asked, seemingly the only one of the two boys who wasn't completely unable to speak with excitement.

"Five card draw," Logan replied. "Just poker chips tonight. Want in?"

The two boys shared a look that was equal parts excitement and surprise. "Yes!"

Logan and Hank shared a little smirk before Hank shuffled the cards and dealt the hand to the little group.

….

Meanwhile, upstairs at the actual party, Kate was being terrible. She had stolen a few of Kurt's bamfs who hadn't gone with Kurt for the tour and was using them to harangue America - and they were loving every second of the chance to cause trouble. They would simply bamf into America's path, inches from her face, any time she looked like she might try to do something. Any move toward the punch bowl, or toward the dance floor, or… _anything_ was met with a little cackle and a bamf in the face, as Kate just looked on gleefully.

"You're _horrible_ ," America accused her when one of the bamfs got between her and a pretty blonde she'd been about to chat up.

"You're an easy target," Kate countered with a grin as the offending bamf immediately teleported over to her to get his hair ruffled and his tummy tickled for his good work.

America put her hands on her hips but had a hard time coming up with anything to say when two of Kate's bamfs just started to copy her every movement, hands on the hips, finger raised — it was hard to be angry when they were taking all the mickey out of her. "This isn't over, Princess," she threatened at last, and the bamfs fell apart giggling.

The party was set to go as long as anyone wanted to keep dancing, but their DJ had stopped taking requests for a moment and put the songs on a playlist so he could slip over to where Jubilee was with a sly grin. "Can I have this dance?" he asked with a little bow.

"If you can keep up," she countered with a smile.

He gestured around the party with a wide grin. "This is what I do for a living, Jubilee," he countered. " _You_ have to keep up with _me_."

She laughed delightedly. "We'll see about that, mister. I've been a superhero since I was fourteen. There isn't anyone yet that's managed to match me. But," she said after a little spin. "You're welcome to try."

"You may have me there. I was much younger when I learned to fight, but it was not until I was past my teenage years that I discovered this world's music." He grinned widely at her as he followed her onto the dance floor. "I come from a universe of transcendental peace, but no tight harmony groups."

"That's a shame — about losing your utopia," she replied before she leaned forward with a troublemaking sparkle to her gaze. "But I'm really more for a driving beat any day."

"As long as you can dance to it." He just grinned even wider. "You wouldn't be the first to tell me my tastes are out of date."

"I didn't say that," she replied with a little shake of her head. "That stuff is great for slow dances and walks on the beach — little cruise in a convertible at sunset. Very romantic."

"Then maybe you'll show me your favorite songs sometime," he suggested, the grin still firmly in place as he watched her. "For the non-rave situations, that is."

"You're on, mister," she countered before she pulled him further onto the floor by the waist. "But right now? We dance."

He laughed and let her lead, just enjoying the time with someone who loved music and partying like he did. She was singing along loudly to every single song — and it likely didn't escape her notice that he'd thrown in a few more Daft Punk songs in the playlist just for her.

The two of them danced their hearts out right in the center of the dance floor until Noh let out a little sigh. "And that's the last song I have queued up. I'll have to put up another few so we can keep dancing," he said as another song started up.

"You know where to find me," she replied with a broad smile.

"Then your dance card isn't full? That surprises me," he teased.

"I don't plan ahead that far," she admitted with a shrug that turned into a shimmy.

He grinned, paused in his dancing, and took her by the waist into a spin that became a dip. "Can you plan five minutes ahead for me to return and finish this dance?" he asked, his face just inches from hers.

"Maybe if you ask really nicely," she replied.

He didn't hesitate to kiss her right there on the dance floor, and when he pulled her back to her feet, he said, "Pretty please."

"With sugar on top?"

"And a maraschino cherry," he said, laughing now.

"Alright, sugar, see you in a few."

He grinned and waved at her before he bounced off to go queue up some more songs — and she definitely noticed that the songs he was picking were more to her tastes, with more of a driving beat and in the style of songs he'd noticed she danced to with more energy. He was grinning her way for a second, headphones over his ears, before he just set to work looking through the rest of his records — momentarily distracted by a few students who had song requests as well.

Kate, meanwhile, was across the dance floor and still laughing at America when Kurt bamfed in nearby with a pair of very buzzed Young Avengers. "I believe they belong to you," Kurt said to Kate. "They aren't much for holding their liquor. Yet. Lucky for them they have a mentor that has offered to help them in that area."

Kate burst into laughter when she saw the state of her friends. "They barely _ever_ drink — how did you…?" She couldn't finish the question because she was laughing too hard at her friends giggling at each other.

"Logan just threw them a beer," Kurt shrugged. "As if they couldn't say no."

"Drinking, Kate," Billy said with a wide smile, "with _Wolverine_."

"Alright, no magic for you until you stop looking like that," Kate said, laughing and shaking her finger at her friend.

"What about for me?" Teddy asked with a sloppy sideways grin.

"Ask your fiance," Kate said, rolling her eyes. "But Tommy's driving. I'm sure the terror will wake you both up fast."

America was chuckling with her arms crossed over her chest as she came to watch their two buzzed and giggling friends as well. "Mean," she said under her breath.

"Oh, they'll be fine. Teddy will stop being drunk soon — different metabolism," Kate said, waving her hand.

"If you think they're too drunk, I'm sure we can put them up for the night," Kurt offered, one eye on the young men who were excitedly catching America up on what they'd seen on their tour as a few of the bamfs watched them with careful expressions as they were clearly a bit concerned that the young men might fall over.

"They'd never leave," Kate said. "Besides, they were due at the Avengers' party at some point tonight, and I know Carol was looking forward to seeing their costumes."

"Yes, Henry and Logan mentioned that there was something going on there," Kurt said with a nod. "But they're too busy trying to best each other with 'The Professor's Cat'. When we left, the cat was being loquacious."

"I'm kind of sad I missed that," Kate said, smirking.

"It's still going on," Kurt said. "Henry has a bigger range of big words, but Logan can't get drunk."

"So it's a pretty close contest," Kate surmised.

"It is — loquacious was Logan's word." Kurt was laughing. "Henry swore like crazy on that one."

"I bet." Kate giggled and looped an arm through Kurt's. "We can go laugh at them - or we can dance here — or we can take the bamfs to Clint's place and demand candy for everyone."

"You did promise that we could demand candy," Kurt said as he pulled her close and pushed the hot pink sunglasses down onto her nose. "Ready to go, _knallkörper_?" He laughed a bit at the name.

"Whenever you are, _Engelchen_ ," she replied with a very obvious and proud grin.

"Oh, you speak the language when you're flirting," Kurt said with a broad grin. "I'll have to teach you more." With that, he stole a quick kiss before he teleported them off to go bother Clint.

When they arrived outside Clint's door, Kate took just a second to adjust Kurt's pirate hat and kiss him out in the hallway, playing the tips of her fingers across the open-chested muslin shirt before she turned toward Clint's door — though Kurt wasn't quite finished.

" _Du hast wunderschöne Augen_ ," he whispered over her shoulder before he gently kissed her neck and pulled her closer from behind.

She giggled and bit her lower lip. "Oh, we're going to have to make this a short visit if you're going to start language lessons _now_ ," she whispered.

" _Sei dann schnell,"_ he replied quietly.

She reached down with one hand to grab his and knocked with the other. "Trick or treat!" she shouted before the door was even open, and a few seconds later, Clint, dressed to the nines in Ghostbuster gear, was at the door with a huge bowl of, as promised, full-sized candy bars.

He blinked at the two of them for a long second, staring at Kate's Jubilee getup, before he burst into laughter. "Oh man. That's _amazing_ ," he said, shaking his head before he handed out candy to the bamfs as well as the two of them, though he did make it a point to break the big bars in thirds for the little bamfs. "Nice parrot, Nightcrawler," he added, still laughing.

"He insisted on it," Kurt replied with a laugh before he gestured to Clint's costume. "Which one are you? Or are you the trainee?"

"Peter Venkman," Clint said with a wide grin. He looked around the hall for a second and then opened the door wider. "You're welcome to come in for a minute, just — don't let Deadpool in. He's still lurking somewhere, and I've managed to keep him out of the apartment so far… but if you hear the theme song playing, _shut the door_."

"He's still here?" Kate grinned. "Didn't he go home by now? I thought Halloween was his night to be Dad-Pool."

"As I understand it?" Clint let out a sigh. "She's all tucked in. Gave her a Snickers, and he left — and half an hour later? The theme song was back."

"Just half an hour?" Kurt teased. "Sounds like you got off easy. The few times he's come by the mansion, he only leaves after Logan takes his head off and dumps him somewhere."

"Well, he was probably making a few more rounds of trick-or-treating," Kate suggested. She slipped inside and started to play with Lucky, who, after he'd realized who she was, all but pounced on her and started to lick her face.

"Someone missed you," Clint said, chuckling.

"It's cuz he knows who the best Hawkeye is — isn't that right, Lucky?" Kate teased, ruffling Lucky by the ears.

"Smart dog," Kurt said with a laugh as he closed the door behind him.

"Heard you had a big party going up there tonight," Clint said as he pulled one of the bamfs away from the bowl of candy to keep the little guy from getting any more.

"Yes, all Kate's doing," Kurt said cheerfully. "But like half the city, we heard where the real candy was."

Clint grinned wide at that. "Yeah — I did it one year just because the neighbor kids didn't feel safe trick or treating outside the building, right? And now I'm stuck every year." He laughed and gave an easy shrug. "But hey — the kids can get out more now the tracksuits have _mostly_ scrammed, but they still make sure to stop by."

"If those tracksuits of yours are religious, I can pay them a visit at three in the morning," Kurt offered with a sly smile. "Not everyone likes it when I speak German." He gave Kate a significant look as she just started to giggle at him over the top of Lucky's head.

"You know ... I don't really know? I think they might be… Russian or Eastern European, but that's about all I got," Clint admitted, rubbing the back of his neck before the doorbell rang again. "Hold on; that's probably some latecomers. Barney was going to bring the kids around at some point." But as soon as he opened the door, he immediately regretted it as Wade came bounding in, wearing the pilfered Cyclops uniform, pushing Clint aside and singing at the top of his lungs.

" _Who you gonna call_?" he shouted out.

"We can leave any time," Kurt said over Kate's shoulder as Wade continued in his singing. "Clint may be trapped, but thankfully, we are not."

"We'll leave if he gets too obnoxious, but this is half the party," she laughed. "Hiya Wade!" she called out a little louder, adjusting her pink sunglasses back over her eyes as he turned to face her so that he could see the full effect of her costume.

"Oh. I love it!" Wade said as he bounced forward and wrapped her up in a hug only to hold her at arm's length by the shoulders. "We're both X-Men!"

"We are," she agreed as if she'd only just realized it. "You should see Jubes."

"Did she dress up as Hawkeye?" he asked delightedly. "I keep trying to do a Cyclops impression, but I just can't keep it up without laughing."

"You weren't born for the switch like we were," Kate said, grinning, before she leaned forward conspiratorially. "Kurt even fell for it for a few minutes."

Wade turned to Kurt with wide eyes before he clapped a hand over his mouth and whispered out through his fingers, "You didn't — you didn't get to second base with Wolvie's little firecracker, did you? I can only imagine that means a severed limb, even if you ARE his best friend."

"Oh don't worry. I wouldn't have let him," Kate said quickly. "Though he _thought_ he was getting the stuffing kissed out of him by a firecracker when I ran in to save the fake Hawkeye."

"Any chance it might be on film? Just for me?" Wade asked with a smile. "Just me and the internet?"

"You'll have to ask my partner in crime. She was in charge of getting pictures, but she had also just been swept off her feet…" Kate shrugged.

Wade deflated the slightest bit, his shoulders sagging as he kicked at the ground. "Oh, well. If she got it, I don't know that she'd share with me. Likely just hog it all to herself."

"Maybe if you're really nice, someone might talk to her for you," Kate said with a little smirk. "But hey — we're turning Kurt purple again." She threaded her arm through Kurt's and laid her head on his shoulder. "Second best part of the night was when this pirate came swooping in with his band of little seafaring bamfs. They totally boarded us and commandeered the whole party."

Wade just stared at Kurt for a moment before he glanced around at the little bamfs, still in pirate gear, who were playing with Lucky or trying to sneak past Clint to get more candy. "You got the little poofballs to dress up _with you_?" he asked. "That — is freakin' _genius!_ "

"He is rather amazing isn't he?" Kate said, smirking. She stood up on her toes to kiss Kurt on the cheek. "Very dashing."

"A regular dream boat," Wade agreed as he sidled up on the other side of Kurt.

"Can you just — can you _not_ in my apartment?" Clint said, shaking his head as he snatched a Three Musketeers from a bamf thief before a second one snuck a Snickers while he was distracted.

"You're the one who opened the door without checking first," Kate teased. "He's your houseguest now."

"Does that mean I can stay the night?" Wade asked, the grin wide and obnoxiously obvious even behind the mask. "I get so lonely all by myself."

"No. No it doesn't." Clint crossed his arms and glared at both Kate and Wade before he just shook his head. "Halloween's just about _over,_ guys. Go — have some apple wine or something."

"Riesling perhaps," Kurt said as he started to snake his tail around Kate's ankle and gave her an impish smile. "Which I may have a bottle of back home."

"And you did promise to steal me away and teach me German," Kate agreed.

" _Auf Wiedersehen_ ," Kurt said brightly to Clint and Wade. "You two have a nice evening."

"Not as nice as yours'll be," Clint said, smirking.

"Keep it up and I'll 'port back here with a bottle of champagne for the two of you," Kurt warned.

Clint raised both hands and took a step back. "Yeah, no thanks. You two have fun doing ... whatever it is you want to do."

"Toodles!" Kate called Wade's way, and after the traditional high-five, she and Kurt teleported back to the mansion, right back to the party, just to check in on how things were going before the slipped off for themselves.

"About time you two came back," America called out with a little smirk as she waved at the two of them with just her fingers. "I was having _flashbacks_." She jerked her head over her shoulder beyond the DJ table, where Noh-Varr was wrapped up with Jubilee in the corner in a passionate kiss. "She's taking the whole Hawkeye thing _way_ too far."

Kate winced with one eye shut. "That's — that's really weird from the other side. I gotta make her at _least_ put her hair in pig-tails or _something_."

"Don't approach," America teased. "You'll just make it weirder."

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head, looking around the room. It was late enough that many of the party guests had either gone to other parties or gone home for the night, but most of the Young Avengers, as well as most of the teachers, were still having a blast. "If you don't like it, you can just leave," she pointed out, and America just rolled her eyes even harder at that.

"We should leave then," Kurt growled over her shoulder. "For other reasons entirely."

She turned slightly toward him to kiss his cheek and whisper, " _Wunderbar,_ " which only had him grinning wider.

He didn't take his eyes off her as he addressed America. "It was lovely to see you again," he said with a grin. "But I'm afraid there's a bottle of wine with our names on it."


	11. Killing Contracts and Aliens

**Notes from both of us: Thank you to everyone for their amazing reviews. We love it when the little loving details we put into the story are noticed. Spidey's mask smelling and his JJJ impression had us giggling madly the whole time, and Kate and Jubes are just basically the best teamup ever ;)**

 **Antra, thank you for pointing out the grammar error. Neither of us are good linguists; we know snatches of languages and are just working on basic translations, but we want to preserve the characters who would speak in their native languages. If we make a mistake, please feel free to help us, and we'll change it! We are not quite the polyglots our characters are ;)**

 **Also, quick shoutout to Silmarilz, who inspired us to get going and publish an update, because she is on FIRE.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11: Killing Contracts and Aliens**

The morning after the party, Kate dropped by Jubilee's room to return the clothes she'd borrowed for their Halloween switch. "Jubes, are you home?" she called out as she knocked on the door.

"Come on in," Jubilee called out in a sing-song tone.

Kate pushed open the door with her little bundle of clothes and looked around, half-expecting to see Noh-Varr too. "So. Have a nice night?" she asked teasingly.

"Not bad," she said with a shrug. "I've had worse."

"Alright." Kate shrugged lightly in return. "Well — I brought your clothes… Hope _your_ clothes didn't get you ... more attention than you meant," she said carefully, still remembering the image of her ex kissing a girl who looked just like her.

"Oh, honestly? I think he was holding back," Jubilee said as she dropped onto her bed. "I don't think he was strictly interested."

"Really?" Kate raised her eyebrows. "Holding back?"

"Yeah, he was, like, being polite," she said as she pulled a little face. "So — must not have made the right impression."

Kate had to laugh a little bit as she relaxed substantially on hearing it. "Well — if he was being polite, it means he wanted to see you again. You'd know if he just wanted the one night," she promised.

"Well, we'll see," Jubilee replied easily. "Don't know if I'll even see him around honestly." She seemed to wave it off before she sat up and leaned forward. "How was _your_ night after a well-planned case of mistaken identity?"

Kate grinned outright as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Well, Kurt got two of my friends drunk, Clint was a Ghostbuster… and I'm learning German," she listed off on her fingers with a wide smirk.

"Well that's a good start," Jubilee said with a nod. "If you want to learn Mandarin, let me know."

"I'll let you know," Kate promised. "I'm pretty quick with languages, actually. Learned sign for Clint — took some French in school..."

"We have a few polyglots around here, so if you want langages, you've come to the right place."

Kate sat down on the edge of Jubilee's bed and nodded before she broke into a wide smile and leaned forward. "Well, enough about languages and alien boys that may or may not be interested in you. How was the rest of your night?"

"Dancing, drinking — but just a little — more dancing, and Bobby tried to steal a kiss when he cut in for a slow song."

"You should wear purple more often. Sounds like it works for you," Kate teased.

"Oh," Jubilee waved her off. "Bobby hit on me before — when I was still a vampire. Made a comment about cuddling up for warmth when we were soaking wet. Said it was more effective if we were naked." She laughed at the memory. "I told him I was game if he wasn't afraid that I'd eat him."

"I'm adding that to the list of reasons I'm sad I missed half the X-fun until now," Kate said as she gathered up her own clothes from Jubilee's dresser, all folded up nice for her. As she did so, she almost knocked over a picture and caught it before it could fall. "Oh — hey. What… is that the Shi'ar _empress_?" she asked, staring at the picture of the much, much younger Jubilee, with Charlles and Lilandra.

"Lilandra?" Jubilee asked as she got up and looked over Kate's shoulder. "Oh, yeah. She and Charlie used to be _a thing._ " She smirked a bit at the old photo. "She actually was a whole lot nicer than the rest of the Shi'ar we met. She had some humanity about her."

"She… and Professor X?" Kate shook her head and just laughed. "That explains all the Shi'ar tech around this place."

"We had that before they were involved," Jubilee clarified. "But it gave us a lot of leeway once they were an item. The tech came when the Phoenix was an issue. They wanted a way to get in touch and show good faith, so we got all the techy upgrades."

"Well — if you decide you ever want to bring Marvel Boy back here? Maybe don't let him see the picture. He might be from a universe of peace, but this universe?" Kate shook her head. "Not so much with the peace."

"Has a problem with Shi'ar, huh? Well. Lilandra is dead anyhow," Jubilee said with a sigh. "But I really did like her. She wasn't really supposed to be in charge of the place."

"Well, he's sort of — he's Kree? I mean, he's a hybrid. But… Kree," Kate explained lamely.

"Oh," she said quietly. "Well. I can't really blame him for having problems with the Shi'ar, then. For the most part, they really are not nice. At least. The ones in charge. The people in the streets though? And the general population? Really nice people."

"Well, he's learned to get along with a half-Skrull, so… he can learn," Kate said with a smirk. "Slowly. He _did_ try to kill Teddy first."

"I hope he can get over himself then — if he wants to hang with me," Jubilee said. "I have issues with people that wanna be freakin' _racist._ Alien or no, I'm not going to put up with it."

"Tell him that," Kate nodded. "Make him get over himself and knock him down a peg. He needs it sometimes."

"That," she said pointing a finger her way, "I can do. _If_ it comes up. Which — I'd have to do more than dance with him."

"And check out his tonsils." Kate raised an eyebrow. "He did tell you about the mind control saliva, right?" she added with a little teasing tone.

Jubilee looked up quickly. "Um. No. No he did not," she said with a frown, pulling a bit at the ends of her pigtails. "But... I didn't exactly give him much of a chance to _talk_."

Kate giggled and waved her hand. "Don't worry. I just wanted to see the look on your face. He doesn't _use_ it except on bad guys," she assured her. "You'd know if he did."

"If he did, I'd have to gut him," Jubilee said easily.

"Well there you go." Kate grinned cheerfully. "Logan would help. You haven't told him that you were playing around with Marvel Boy, have you?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Jubilee said with a smirk. "Not his business anyhow."

"When he finds out, I want to be there to watch the show," Kate said with a little smirk.

"He knows better than to say anything to me about that kind of stuff," Jubes said with her hand on her hip. "I know things about him and his little _habits._ "

"You do seem to have a get out of jail free pass with him," Kate agreed.

"Several. And I'm not about to let him forget it either," she replied.

Kate just laughed and gave Jubilee a wink on her way out. "Sounds like you can date whoever you want then. I just came to give you the mind-controlling, half-Kree, half-insect, ex-boyfriend warning."

"You make it sound so attractive," Jubes said with a little laugh.

"It was, actually," Kate said, dropping a bit of the teasing as she turned back — after all, if he made her friend happy, Kate wasn't going to stand in the way. "At the time," she added.

"But not as attractive as a fuzzy blue elf with a heart of gold," Jubes all but sang out her way.

"Clearly," Kate agreed. "But I'm incredibly biased. Rose-colored glasses with that one. Or… violet-colored."

"Be kind to him; his heart is easily broken," Jubilee called out as Kate got to the door.

"Jubes," Kate said seriously, "I've been nothing but an angel to that adorable half-demon."

"Doesn't change the fact that he's head over heels."

Kate blushed deeply and paused with her hand on the doorknob. "Well. It's — it's not like—"

"Not what?"

"Never mind." Kate was blushing deeper and just waved her off.

"You looooovee him," Jubilee sang.

"Shut up, Jubes," Kate said, grinning down at the floor as she double-checked to make sure the door was still closed. "You're worse than the students."

"You love him, you love him. You love him," she teased as she danced in place. "Tell him and you can move in to living happy ever after with your Prince Charming — the swashbuckling blueberry muffin."

"Shush!" Kate looked around the room as if someone might overhear.

"Am I holding you back from going to take a bite outta that muffin?" Jubilee was nearly cackling. "All covered with sugar and hot out of the oven."

"You're _horrible_." Kate shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "I come here with a friendly warning about mind-control and you — you're trying to… Just… gah!"

"Get you after some hot crossed buns? Yes. Yes I am. It's because I love you both and want you to be happy."

"I am happy," Kate admitted, grinning, before she leveled her finger at Jubilee in warning. "It's _nice_. Don't push it."

"Good, good. But think of how he'll kiss you when you come clean," Jubes said, sitting cross-legged on her bed. "He'll look deeply into your eyes," she laid back and rested her hand over her heart as she moved so her head was hanging off the edge of the bed. "You'll get tongue tied. In several ways. And when you finally let it slip … you'll probably be wondering if Noh is the only one with mind control techniques."

"Then I'll want to save it up for a special occasion," Kate teased, furiously looking for a way out of the conversation.

"His birthday is the eleventh!" Jubilee said with a troublemaking smirk as if she had just been _waiting_ for the opening. "And he doesn't have any plans yet. I checked. Twice."

"You…" Kate pointed a finger at Jubilee. "You can't… I'm not putting a _deadline_ on it!"

"Not a deadline, just a suggestion. And … Logan might be taking him out the weekend before, so — he'll be starved for affection when they get back."

"And all worn out from fighting ninjas," Kate said with a little smile.

"No ninjas," Jubilee said with a shake of her head. "They're going fishing. So he'll be hungover."

"Well I'm not telling him while he's _hungover_ either."

"Well the cure for a hangover is lots and lots of _water._ " Jubilee laughed her way. "And you can make him drink it, right? That's the rumor on the street."

Kate giggled. "It's my secret superpower," she agreed.

"Well, at any rate — make your plans, even if it's just to hang out and watch a movie. Otherwise, Meggan and Kitty will edge you out for the actual birthday," she warned. "They'll show up and whisk him off without you."

"I've met Kitty, but I don't think I've met Meggan," Kate said with a shrug.

"Oh, now … _that_ was a fun time," Jubilee said as she rolled over onto her stomach and grinned up at her - clearly ready to spill on the dirt. "They had a fling while she and Captain Britain were on the rocks."

"Oh." Kate raised an eyebrow. "Well — alright. That's… good information to have tucked away." She thought about it for a moment before she just nodded to herself, knowing that she was totally falling into Jubilee's trap of using one of Kurt's exes as motivation but still making her move anyway. "Yeah. I'll have to clear some things out of my car… I think that old beach house hasn't been torn down yet… and my name's on the place now…." She looked up at Jubilee with a little smile. "Alright. Thanks for the heads up. You know. With ten days to prep."

Jubilee shrugged. "Better than nothing."

"Still not setting a deadline," Kate warned, one finger pointed at Jubilee. "So don't go telling him something ridiculous like — like blueberry muffin puns or something."

"Oh, I'll save those for you," Jubilee promised as she moved over to put the clothes away. She paused and turned to face her again. "But — I should really give you a heads up — end of the month, things could get ugly around here. Watch your surroundings."

"Right, because things never get ugly or exciting when you're in the superhero business," Kate teased.

"No — it's just ... well. Nevermind, I'll let the guys explain it later," Jubilee said as she shook her head and waved it off. "Now leave me to my thoughts in my _boudoir_. I have a party this weekend to go to."

"I wouldn't know the DJ at this party, would I?" Kate teased.

"You might? I'm not sure if he's DJ'ing it or not. It's a rave, actually. The dancing got me in the mood." She pulled out a package from the back of the closet that had a fine layer of dust on it, though she was nearly bouncing in place even before she opened it.

"Oh, he doesn't do raves as much," Kate said with a smirk.

"Too bad for him," Jubilee said, grinning. "My outfit is going to be amazing. And very little to it."

"I might let that slip to Tommy. Who might let it slip to an alien boy. Who knows."

She giggled. "I'll model it for you if you want. Parts of it are old. From before." She tipped her head to the side in thought. "You know, I'd kind of like America's take on it anyhow."

"She'll give it to you, too," Kate agreed. "I think she likes you. And she doesn't like people that quickly."

"Everyone likes me," Jubilee said. "I'm a hummingbird that makes explosions."

"You're a trouble magnet is what you are." Kate grinned. "Later, Jubes. I've got a birthday getaway to plan. And a new bathing suit to buy."

…..

While Kurt had been gone with Logan on their fishing trip, Kate had been busy moving things out of her car, just so that she would have enough space to bring some beach party gear down to the beach house, and she couldn't have Kurt just teleport her there, after all, not if she wanted the location to be a surprise for him.

She was a little nervous about bringing the books up, because these were the worst offenders, the ones that she'd found digging through her dad's archives that she wanted _out_ of her company — the anti-mutant, anti-hero nonsense that, frankly, she didn't feel all that comfortable even _looking_ at, much less reading through.

Usually, when she brought the worst offenders up to the room she shared with Kurt to peer through them for breach of contracts, they would be cover-less… or at least they wouldn't have anything that would advertise just what kind of slop she was wading through trying to clean out her dad's company. She didn't want Kurt to have to deal with that any more than he already had to deal with it in person.

Still, she hadn't been able to tear into the books like she usually would because she was on a time crunch. She hadn't been able to pull the covers off of all the books, but she was moving them in stacks, and besides, she'd shoved them all into the corner by the desk with all her other author contracts and paperwork. It should be fine for just a few days.

She was bringing up another couple bags worth of books and papers from her car, and when she opened the door, it was to find Kurt standing in the doorway — one of the Bishop Publishing books in his hand. It was one of the worst offenders, a virulently anti-mutant volume that clearly advocated violence.

He looked… shocked was the closest word to it, and he was frowning hard when she looked up to meet his gaze and couldn't help but shift a little guiltily.

"What... " He just looked up at her with a thunderstruck look on his face. "I don't understand."

"It's ... all the stuff my dad's company was publishing," Kate tried to explain in a rush. "Everything I could find. I've been looking through it all for _weeks_ , and there's _tons_ of it, and…." She shifted. "And, well, it's a lot of work trying to figure out who the worst offenders are."

"What are you _doing_ with all this?" he asked finally with a frown.

"Trying to clean house," she replied, setting the bags of books down on either side of her with a long sigh. "I've been trying to figure out how to get my name off these… I'm trying to find a way to legally break off the contracts so they'll stop getting _printed_." She gestured at the two bags. "Some of these authors are _prolific_ , and they have pretty strong lifetime contracts I'm trying to break up here."

"I'm not sure how you can do that," Kurt said, looking a bit hopeless as he glanced at the piles and piles of books scattered around the room. "I guess ... I can understand your reasoning … but you're putting yourself out there."

"It's _my_ name on the publishing house," Kate insisted. "And my name's _not_ going to be on any stupid anti-mutant books or essays or _anything_ like that." She put her hands on her hips. "When I'm done with these guys, they'll never write again. Just ... it's a lot of legalese is all." She pulled out one of the books to show Kurt where she'd been making little notations. "I'm trying to prove it's a breach of contract. Hate speech, inciting to violence, _illegal_ things that I can break contract over. Matt Murdock's helping me a lot."

"So leave him to do his job," Kurt said gently as he tossed the book in his hand to the ground and pulled her close to him. "He's talented."

"It's _my_ name on the books," Kate said stubbornly. "So — it's my problem. I don't care if they are best-sellers. I don't _want them_."

He pulled her into a kiss and cradled her head in his hand. "I do love your passion at being stubborn. It's somehow charming."

She broke into a bit of a smile. "I told you when we met — I always get what I want." She reached up to put her hand over his. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you… I just… I wanted to get it all sorted, maybe even hire some new writers — I was thinking of asking you and some of the others to tell your stories…. Get the truth out there…." She was shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and the explanation came out in a rush. "I just ... didn't want you to be dating a publishing mogul with _this_ crap in her company."

"It's adorable, and thoughtful - but it's not your fight, love." Kurt made a point to look her in the eyes. "You don't need to put yourself in harm's way — physically or professionally."

"Let them come after me," she said, waving her hand. "I'll take them all on, and anybody else who messes with you or the X-Men or…" She bit her lip for a second. "Let them come. They can't get mad at me for sticking up for someone I love."

"And we'll try not to wreck your reputation in the meantime — by guilt through association."

"Anybody who thinks I'm any worse of for knowing you isn't worth caring about," she insisted, actually stamping her foot. "These people tick me off, Kurt. They just — they're _horrible_ and they're _nasty_ and they don't _care_ what happens to you and I want to _get them_. And this is the only way I can."

He nodded his head with a little smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. "Shame on them for angering you."

"Oh, they'll learn the error of their ways," Kate promised, not quite catching his teasing tone as she was on a _roll_ with her tirade. "I'm _this_ close to knocking off a contract on a book that's number three right now. Watch the news. It'll be _beautiful_."

"I'm sure you'll have to face Jameson to explain yourself when that happens," Kurt replied, taking her hand in his and raising it to his lips to draw her attention back. "But right now, you are late for your lesson — the _private lesson_. Self defense in sixty different countries. Jubilee is supposed to join you today."

"Oh, right," Kate nodded quickly, finally seeming to come back down from her anger. "Right — I totally forgot… I've been doing this and then there's the trip in a few days…"

"Yes, I understand that, but your teacher is not going to be in the best of moods by the time you get there."

She let out a heavy sigh and then smiled at him playfully. "Come with me and diffuse your best friend?"

"I can only try," he said with a grin before she stepped into him and they teleported down to the Danger Room, where Logan and Jubilee were arguing hotly. Jubilee was trying to convince him that she didn't _need_ a refresher course, but of course, he wasn't hearing any part of it.

"You're not indestructible anymore," Logan half snarled. "So prove to me that you can do it without killing yourself." Jubilee glared at him hard and finally, with a frustrated noise, she turned away from him.

"FINE!" she shouted out. "I'll run your stupid program — and if you give me any more flack, I swear to _God_ I'll do everything I can to make you miserable."

"You're off to a great start," he shouted back as he stalked out of the room to head to the booth. He stopped when he was a few strides away from Kate and Kurt and just pointed at Kate for a moment. "You stay here. You're killing aliens today. Lots of 'em."

"That I know how to do," Kate said with an easy smile.

Kurt gave her a wink and followed Logan out of the room while the two girls prepped to show off. Jubilee was still fuming and had her hands on her hips as she paced, not even considering picking out a weapon.

Kate twirled her bow as she made her way over to Jubilee. "Don't let him tweak you," she teased. "This is what I call a girls night out."

"He's being an _ass_ ," Jubilee said, turning toward the control booth, sure that he could hear them even without the microphones.

"That's not surprising." Kate saluted the booth with her bow. "Thanks for ticking him off before I got here. I thought I was going to get chewed out for being late — so this is _much_ better," she teased.

"It really is," Jubilee said without looking her way. " _Even if he won't come down and fight me himself._ "

Kate just grinned. "Bring on the aliens, tough guy!" she called up to the booth. "I need a warmup before I help my friend kick your trash nine ways to Sunday!"

"Good luck, princess," Logan called out before the room around them shimmered into darkness and then, slowly, glowing eyes lit up around them with a rattling hiss.

"Oh. Perfect. Start off with Brood," Jubilee grumbled as she let her plasmoids grow a bit. "You know how to deal with these guys?"

"Fought a few during my time as a space princess," Kate said with a teasing smile.

"Good. The rules in here are don't let them touch you, or you're out," she told her. "Which is a cake walk when you just Blow. Them. Up."

Kate twirled an arrow between her fingers. "Couple splodeys coming right up."

The two girls smirked at each other as the Brood around them pulled together their attack, and within ten minutes, the two of them had managed to blow up all but the last one — which Kate made short work of with a standard arrow right through the top of its head.

Next up, the room shimmered into the streets of the shopping district in Westchester, full of people on a sunny day. It looked like they were all shopping - laughing and enjoying the day — until suddenly they weren't and one of them nearest the two girls morphed into a Skrull for an instant before turning into Kitty. "Oh, crap," Jubes muttered as she kicked the fake Kitty with a reverse hook kick to the head. "I really hate Skrull fights when they switch disguises mid way."

"They're a pain to keep track of," Kate agreed as she performed a backflip kick to get away from a Skrull that looked like America. "Lucky for you, one of my first ever fights was with Skrulls. I've literally been doing this since I got started." She and Jubilee were sure to stay within eyesight of each other, too, especially after one of them morphed into Kate just beside Jubilee and tried to punch her silly, though Jubilee responded by kicking the Skrull in the chest and launching at her.

But between the two of them, it was clear that they had the battle well in hand, as they gladly showed off every move they'd learned — and called out warnings and encouragement to each other.

Logan didn't give them more than a few seconds to celebrate before the room filled with the Accusers — the biggest pains in the backside Kree that he could think of. Before the leader could shout out the usual warning to just surrender to the might of the Kree or whatever else, Jubilee was already on the move — backflipping across the room to kick the guy in the head then detonate a plasma bomb in the center of them as she flipped her way back near Kate to wait while they regrouped and started their attack.

Kate was shooting arrows two at a time, right through the eyes of the Accusers to keep them from firing any energy bursts through their eyes. She kept up a steady stream of those double shots and just kept moving as Jubilee took to blowing up any recently-blinded Kree.

The two of them did a great job and didn't get more than a scratch on them as they tore them down. When the dust settled and it was obvious that the two girls had won, Jubilee turned to Kate to complement her on her shooting — as a Shi'ar Imperial guard detail opened fire on them. She swore under her breath and dove for cover, pulling Kate with her.

"I don't know how realistic he's making this stupid simulation, but ... they may not be shooting to kill. So — don't get caught. Take a solid hit before you get caught."

"Got it," Kate said, deciding, for the time being, not to tell Jubilee that she sounded just like Noh — who had given her more or less _exactly_ that advice while they were in space.

They were surrounded by small explosions as Jubilee built up her plasma blasts. The sparks were fizzling around the edges of the glowing ball of light at her hands before she turned to Kate with a huge grin. "Ready to win?"

"Always," Kate agreed as she reached for a splodey arrow.

"Pick off any stragglers," Jubilee advised just before she popped up and threw the mass of energy. It exploded at the center of the group, though one of them was far enough off to the side that he managed to hit Jubilee solidly, knocking her out of the simulation and leaving Kate to fend for herself with the last three Shi'ar guards standing. "He's _cheating_ ," Jubilee shouted. "So watch the creep hiding behind the column on your right!"

"Jubes, you never have to tell a Hawkeye to _watch_ ," Kate said with a confident, cocky grin.

"No, but since that one wasn't in the original line up, I thought I'd tell you about the _cheater._ "

Kate giggled to herself as she ran to take on the last of the guards, diverting from arrows to more closed combat when one of them grabbed her bow. She managed to swing up and around one of them and hook her bow around his neck, taking him down with her as she did so before she popped back up to deliver a solid roundhouse kick to another. From there, it was just a matter of fighting just about as dirty as she figured Logan wanted to see until, several minutes later, she was standing, panting, in the middle of the Danger Room as the sim finally ended.

It took just a few minutes before the door opened and Logan and Kurt stepped in. Kurt was tickled and congratulated the girls right away. But Logan and Jubilee took exactly half a second before they were again at each other's throats — arguing on how it ended. He was saying that it was a draw since Jubilee was technically 'dead' in the sim and couldn't … no — _shouldn't_ have warned Kate about the danger behind the column, while Jubilee said he was a jerk and there was no danger until he patched it in after they were pinned down.

"Think of it as — like — Jubes is _my_ version of a spider sense," Kate called out with a wide grin.

"Yes. that's it exactly. It's your _awesome_ sense," Jubilee agreed. "And instead of tingling — it sparkles." She turned to Logan and stalked forward a few steps, sticking her finger in his face. "Don't think I don't know what you were up to, mister." She glared at him for a few minutes. "I'm going dancing tonight anyhow."

She turned Kate's way before Logan could snipe at her. "You want to go with me? I'm not sure if I feel like dancing or kicking someone's ass."

"I'm down for either," Kate said with a little smirk. "And I'm sure we can find _some_ bad guys to fight. I say we paint the town red. Or purple."

"With the outfit I'm wearing, they'll find us," Jubilee promised before she gave Logan a glare. "Come on — I'm sure I've got something appropriate for you. Purple even. Well. Metallic purple."

Kate grinned at that. "I'm sure I can find room in my schedule for a little fun."

"I thought we had something planned," Kurt said, his eyebrows raised, as Jubilee pulled Kate toward the door.

"Oh, don't worry, _Engelchen_ ," Kate said with a soft smile as she blew him a little kiss and waved at him with the tips of her fingers. "I'm still stealing you away _all weekend_. This is just — girls night!"

"Be careful then," he said with a laugh. "Try not to break too many hearts."

Kate drew a halo over her head. "What, me? Heartbreaker? You must be mistaken, good sir." With that, she and Jubilee slipped off, practically cackling.

The girls got dressed quickly, and Jubilee seemed to be in autopilot as she pulled together her rave outfit — which, as she had promised, was barely there yet somehow still quite bright and obnoxious when it came to the neon-colored leg warmers anyhow.

Kate had more sense. Hers was a little black dress that came about halfway down her thigh. It had nothing in the way of shoulders, but it was long-sleeved and fairly basic, with a long purple sash around the middle — along with a signature purple headband, of course.

"And we're ready to party," Jubilee said with a nod. "Let's hit it — are you driving or am I?"

"Oh, you'd better drive. My car is still in a transitory state," Kate laughed.

"No problem; we'll take Logan's jeep." Jubilee grinned broadly and headed off in a rush to snatch his keys from the rack by the garage. "We're not telling him," she decided.

"If we're feeling really generous, we'll even bring it back with a full tank," Kate smirked.

"Oh, that isn't going to happen," Jubilee said with a bit of a glare as she just shook her head hard. "I will drive around Westchester _just_ to run it out."

"I like this plan." Kate grabbed her cell phone to snap a few selfies with Jubilee. "It's a good thing he never checks … well, anything online really, because our little jeep ride is about to go on my board."

"Alright, I'll drive to minimize death threats later," Jubilee decided.

The two girls climbed into the jeep, giggling and laughing to themselves, before they took off down the road with Kate filming and narrating their little adventure and inviting her friends and followers to come and play with them as Jubilee's favorite radio station blared in the background all the way to the rave.


	12. Stardusted Ship

**Notes from both of us: Thanks to O and Scruffy for the reviews! Seriously, Jubes and Kate are all sorts of trouble together. Who let them team up? Not even we were expecting them to be as ridiculous as they turned out to be!**

 **Aaaand as you may have gathered from the chapter title, it's time to bring back CC's favorite crackship ;) And robbie almost can't help but gigglingly point out that she thinks Kate has a type…. Well-spoken little acrobats who can travel dimensions… But Jubes can handle the stardusted one waaaaay better. And it's SO much more fun this way ;)**

* * *

 **Chapter 12: Stardusted Ship**

By the time Kate and Jubilee arrived at the rave, it looked like at least _someone_ had been following their adventures, seeing as America was standing outside the entrance with one leg propped up against the side of the wall. She had the hood of her sweatshirt popped up and was grinning at both of them with her arms crossed. "Took you two long enough. I flew here from across the river."

"Show off," Jubilee said, sticking out her tongue as America just laughed at her.

"C'mon, _chicas_. If we're partying, let's _party_ ," America said with a wide grin.

Kate and Jubilee shared a look before each of them took one of America's arms as they headed to the door in tandem.

"The fun has arrived!" Kate announced as they made their entrance and headed straight for the center of the dance floor, turning a few heads as they did so — which was clearly their intention in the first place.

The three of them hadn't been dancing for fifteen minutes before they had some admirers coming up to them and trying to talk them up, though the first one that tried to do anything more than talk with America backed off fast when she flat told him she didn't butter her bread on that side — and if he wanted to be more her type she'd be more than happen to give Earth a couple small moons to help get him started.

Jubilee burst out laughing at that and slipped her arm around America's waist. "That — is the best thing I've heard in _weeks,_ " she laughed. "Come on, let's ditch those losers."

America actually lifted Jubilee up by the waist as she spun her out onto the dance floor. "Keep up with me now, Glitter Queen."

"Oh, I can keep up," Jubilee laughed as they started their own mini dance party.

Kate grinned as she watched her friends dance off, then laughed outright when she found herself with a guy on either shoulder as Billy leaned in close and tried to make it through the laughter as he said, "Hey, babe, come here often?" in as flirty a voice as he could manage before he and Teddy both burst into laughter.

Kate grinned at both of them and tried to look horribly affronted. "Oooh, don't let my boyfriend hear you saying things like that. He's big and strong and _horribly_ jealous."

"Sounds like she's threatening us, Billy," Teddy laughed out.

"We'll just have to dance the grump out of her," Billy agreed as both boys seized an arm and half-carried her out onto the dance floor to join the other two.

"We saw the live blog," Teddy explained over the music, grinning wide. "Tommy and Noh are on the way — they just have to park the spaceship."

"Remind me again why Noh is letting Tommy run around in space where he can get even _more_ of a rap sheet," Kate laughed out loud.

"I think _someone_ told Noh that he shouldn't be alone? And he took it to heart?" Billy said, smiling innocently. "So he found himself another nerd and they've been painting spacetowns red. I think they both like having someone around who's also super fast."

Kate laughed. "They're trouble," she agreed.

The little group was absolutely the life of the party, laughing hard and taking an overabundance of selfies at every given opportunity — when at last Tommy and Noh showed up. Tommy ran right to his brother and then Kate to immediately declare that it was "time to dance," but Noh just walked right up to Jubilee, wearing a sharp black button-up shirt with sleeves that seemed to be purposefully cut to show off his arms.

"So — is this party invitation-only, or can I steal a dance?" he asked Jubilee with a twinkle in his eye.

"Well hello!" she said with a grin. "I don't think you need to steal a dance — unless you think America will fight you over it."

"I mi-i-i-ght," America sang out but didn't make a move to try and step between them.

At that, Jubilee darted over to give America a very obvious kiss on the cheek and huge hug. "Thanks for the dance, beautiful!"

"You've got my number, Glitter Bomb!" America called back before she just broke into a wide grin and spun Jubilee back into Noh, who grinned and waved at his old teammate.

"So. Still want to dance?" Jubilee asked lightly. "Or do you have places to be and people to save?"

"Oh, there are always places to be and people to save if you look hard enough," Noh said, though he answered her question by pulling her in for a dance all the same. "This is Earth, after all. It seems to be a state of being with you all — danger, I mean."

"It would be so much more fun if life had a soundtrack," Jubilee said with a sigh. "Then we could all look like action heroes all the time."

He leaned forward with a conspiratory look. "I keep a set of records in an extradimensional pocket just to play during fights, if there is a place to play music," he told her.

"I," she said leaning closer to whisper in his ear. "Have an iPod. It's not extradimensional, but it holds about ten thousand songs and it auto synchs to my computer. _And_ it's in a sparkly glitter case. Perfection."

Noh spun her around for a moment. "Oh, I have a holographic box with instant access to all my music, but there is something about records that just… _sings_." He picked her up in the air with that last part for a more involved spin that ended with a little kiss on her cheek.

She grinned up at him when he set her back on the ground before she put on a very obvious look of disappointment "Oh, I knew it. I only rate a cheek. Sadness."

"I'd kiss you further, but I admit to being scared of Miss America Chavez," he teased with a little glance over his shoulder. "She is horrible."

"She's darling, you know it, and you love her. Just admit it," Jubilee teased with a grin before she darted forward and kissed him.

He picked her up again to spin her through the kiss and then laughed. "I'd like to introduce you to one of my favorite Earth customs when we have the chance. It's called, as I understand it, a 'hot makeout.'"

"Oh, yes, well — I'm vaguely familiar with that one, but it's been terribly long time since I've done that," she said through her laughter. "I'd love to see your take on it."

"It's a wonderful custom — and it's made even better with a decent view of the stars," he promised before he kissed her again and then spun her. "But of course — right now? There is _music_."

"There is," she agreed with a grin. "And there will be later too."

"I believe you'll find with me, there is always music," he laughed. "It's my favorite part of this dimension."

"Well, that's just because you haven't seen what makes me special yet," she teased.

He grinned as he spun her again. "I'm sure I'll be absolutely astounded."

"Most are," she promised. "But you can play your music while I show you what I can do. I might even show you my mutant ability."

He grinned at her. "Well — you are good friends with Kate Bishop of Earth. I hope she has not spoiled all my ... triple-jointed surprises for you."

"No, she left that out," Jubilee said with a shrug. "But she can't keep up with me in my gymnastics class either."

He just responded by kissing her hard, his eyes sparkling with all sorts of trouble. "We'll just have to see, won't we? I _am_ an explorer, after all."

"Oh. My. Gosh. Get a _room_ ," Tommy said with a look of dramatic pain and a hand to his chest. "You two are _killing_ me here. Offending my noble sensibilities."

"When we get done _dancing_ ," Jubilee said with a wicked look Tommy's way. "Maybe I'll take you for a ride in the jeep. Get away from the noise. Start a bonfire on the beach ..."

Tommy ran a quick circle around the group of them that lasted all of a millisecond. "I hate cars. They're _slow_ ," he teased.

"Yes, but it's not so much the car as it is the destination at the end."

"Hey, it's your party," America said, smirking. "I'll ride for a while if you need someone to make Tommy _sit_ _still_."

"Hey wait a minute. Sit still?" Kate made a face and shook her head. "If we're not dancing, I feel cheated. I could be at home with a fuzzy blue elf!"

"If you feel that I've led you astray, you can take the jeep back," Jubilee teased as she just pulled Noh along to be more in the middle of the dancing. "I'm sure I can hitch a ride."

"I was promised Jubilee dancing," Kate insisted with a smirk. "And painting of the town red."

"True. I'm sure you have nothing like tonight planned for your … surprise," Jubilee agreed, her eyebrows raised high as she leaned forward with a significant grin.

"Just a lot of sun, sand, and snuggles," Kate agreed with a little smirk. "So I need loud music, dancing, and trouble to get it out of my system first."

"And to deflect," Jubilee sang out, earning her a little _look_ from Kate. "But — okay, let's do it." She gave Noh a quick kiss before she spun over to Kate and dragged her to the side of the dance floor where there were platforms raised above the crowd that the dancers could climb up on and dance in tiny groups of two or three. "Come on, Hawkeye! Put it on display!"

Kate was laughing as she started to just dance her heart out. "You just try and keep up, Jubilee! See if you can keep your focus on _dancing_."

"Oh, I've got all kinds of dances in mind, Kate," Jubes promised with a troublemaking grin.

"Kurt was right. You're a terrible, terrible influence."

"That's what happens when you spend your formative years with Wolverine," she laughed. "You learn quickly that it's _fun_ to have all kinds of … experiences."

"I'll take your word for it," Kate said before she broke into an impish smile. "I'm satisfied with the one I got."

"Oh. My. GOD. _NOT LIKE THAT._ " Jubes looked terribly insulted. "He's like — a dad or a big brother — Jeez. that's like — worse than … than someone putting you and Clint together."

"It was _totally worth it_ for the look on your _face_!" Kate was giggling madly, practically unable to dance.

"You know what? That was just rude," Jubilee said as she crossed her arms. "I should leave you here all alone to draw in creepers."

"I'll just call in a certain teleporting cutie, and I'll _still_ be laughing," Kate countered.

"Yeah, until Logan sees that blog," Jubilee said, her arms still crossed as she cocked her hip to one side.

"I'll just tell him you ditched me and ran off with an alien," Kate shot back.

"Be that as it may? He'll smell that lie. You can't lie to him." Jubilee shook her head.

"It's not a lie. I know what you're planning. Don't break the boy," Kate laughed.

"You make it sound like I'm some kind of predator looking for the weak and wounded."

"He's a darling little idiot. He is the definition of innocence," Kate said, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

Jubilee was staring at her open-mouthed. "Again. You make it sound like I am out hunting." She laughed hysterically. "At least I didn't _lie_ to you about Kurt. Innocence, my eye."

Kate couldn't answer because she was laughing too hard — but the laughter evaporated almost instantly when all of a sudden, Tommy let out a high-pitched shout, and the group of them all turned their attention toward him as one of the partygoers had very suddenly morphed into a metallic Sentinel. He must have caught Tommy by surprise — the young speedster was on the ground and already unconscious.

"Oh crap," Jubilee shouted before she jumped off the platform and flat out ran toward the Sentinel that had taken him down, her hands glowing as she gathered up her abilities. The sparkles and whistles had just started when a second Sentinel morphed right next to her before she could reach Tommy.

She turned toward the nearest one and let loose one handful of plasma, but before she could throw the second, the original Sentinel had thrown a dart of some sort that stopped her in her tracks and in the matter of seconds, the plasmoids simply faded as she crumpled.

The mechanical beings gathered both of them as the crowd around them swarmed, making it all but impossible for their friends to get to them before the two Sentinels simply powered up and flew them out of the building.

"We've got to get after them," Teddy shouted out. He and Billy had been a little further out from the action to grab a drink — and Teddy had one hand protectively around Billy's waist as he was eyeing the crowd to make sure there weren't any more surprises that might try to grab the last of the mutants in their group. He sprouted a pair of green wings and took off in a rush, still gripping Billy tight.

America grabbed Kate as the four friends took to the sky, but it was quickly clear that the precious time they'd lost being swarmed by the crowd had cost them their shot at seeing which way the Sentinels were going.

"So now where do we go?" America asked, frustrated as she set Kate down on the nearest rooftop and the two boys made their landing — Billy on his own steam this time as he was already charging up a spell.

" _IwanttoknowwhereTommyis. IwanttoknowwhereTommyis. IwanttoknowwhereTommyis._ " Billy was chanting it as an energy gathered at his fingertips, and it seemed almost like he was looking through little holoscreens as he searched.

Noh vaulted over the edge of the roof close behind them and looked over the little group. "Superhumans in peril. It's always the same on Earth," he teased lightly, though he let the grin drop when Kate shot him a _look_.

Finally, Billy looked up from his spell as he waved away the energy. "They're underground. That's why we couldn't spot them from the air," he explained quickly.

"Underground facilities, huh?" America cracked the knuckles on one fist. "Bring it on."

Billy offered them all a lift on a bit of energy suspended in the air that was solid enough to ride like a disc — and since he was the one who knew where they were going anyway, they let him steer without complaint. The Young Avengers quickly made their way across town on their energy transport, though before they could get entirely geared up for battle, they could feel the ground rumbling underneath them.

…

In the underground abandoned subway station, Jubilee was shouting toward her newest companion. "Don't hold _back!_ " She was shooting off mid-level plasmoids and destroying everything in her path as the two of them cut a path of destruction through the Sentinels and their equipment.

"Just — trying not to bring the ceiling down on us!" he called back, his arms outstretched as he sent an explosive sound wave through a wall.

"You so totally worry too much," Jubilee replied, her explosions screaming like the fireworks she was known for.

Tommy looked supremely insulted. "I'm not _worried_!" he called back to her before he tried to explain. "I just get in trouble for the — you know — killing civilians accidentally thing?" Tommy was bouncing from one foot to the other as he seemed to be concentrating on something.

"It's called collateral damage," Jubilee replied. "And you can't keep them out of the way if they're too stupid to not GO when the fighting starts."

"Right." He looked at the wall in front of them with a bit of determination and then, to her surprise, just ran right through it. She could hear him shout "gah!" on the other side before the whole floor started to shake, and the wall he'd just passed through crumbled, revealing a grinning Tommy and a whole lot of wrecked equipment on the other side. "Like so?" he teased.

"Perfection!" she laughed his way.

He grinned. "It kinda tickles when I run through things," he said with a far more exaggerated shudder than was necessary. "Did I get any creep juice on me?"

She grinned and twirled one finger in the air, asking him to spin for her. When he did so, she grinned _wider_ and shook her head. "Doesn't look like it."

"Oh good. Because you know that stuff doesn't wash out," he replied, laughing.

"It really doesn't. You have to burn your clothes - probably why my mentor ends up buck naked during a mission more often than not," she laughed his way.

He spun and struck a pose. "What, this isn't enough for you?" he asked. He lit up with a grin and zipped around the room, coming back with a piece of a pipe to twirl like a can and push up an imaginary top hat.

She gestured down at her outfit, which more or less added up to a bikini. "No. I'm not on the shirts team — clearly."

"Clearly." He took in a deep breath and looked at the next wall. "I'm going to go over there and blow things up now. I may or may not lose a shirt in the process. Don't get too excited."

"I'll try," she said, rolling her eyes. "Good luck. If you come back with rended garments I'll snap a photo for your adoring fans between blowing up stuff over here."

With that, he took off at a run and passed right through the wall, and the two fell into a quick rhythm, alternating rooms and just generally causing mayhem and explosions between the two of them. By the time they saw the first sign of the stairs leading up, they were both coated in dust and debris and grinning wide.

"Allow me," Tommy said with a deep bow as he gestured at the blocked entrance to the underground before he just held his hands out and let out a destructive wave that blew not only the entrance open but a big chunk of gravel and even grass above them.

"How very kind of you, sir," Jubilee said with a grin and a little curtsey. "Shall we go and see if there's anyone between us and our path to freedom so that we might crack some skulls?"

Tommy grinned at her for a second before he held up a finger in an indication for her to wait. He dashed off and returned half a second later with a gleam in his eyes. "Yes. Yes there are skulls to crack. Does that answer your question?"

"Now I just get to wait and see if it's worth more sparkles or if I should just beat them half to death," she said happily.

"If you're not opposed to the bridal carry, I can take you right there," Tommy offered.

"As long as you don't misplace your hands, I'm all for it."

He grinned and ran over to scoop her up. "Faster this way," he explained. "You guys are _so slow_." With that, he took off, and before Jubilee could blink, they were in the middle of a knot of guys.

She giggled as he set her down and went right into a spinning kick aimed at the nearest guy's head before she threw an elbow into another one's face. "I'm not going to kill them unless I lose my top," she warned.

"I like the way you fight!" Tommy called back to her as he just started to zip around taking cheap shots and turning people upside down for the fun of it.

The two of them worked their way through knot after knot together, with Jubilee getting increasingly more vicious the closer they got to freedom. "Which team are you on?" Jubilee asked him between flips and kicks.

"Sort of unaffiliated, I guess," he replied. "I used to be a Young Avenger, but they're all - spread out? And I haven't really been superheroing. Just — you know, if a bad guy shows up, I'll hit them."

"Well if you're not opposed to it? You should totally talk to Wolvie and Storm about joining the X-Men," she advised. "We're a little short on younger members."

"Thought that's what you have the better-looking Hawkeye for," he teased.

"She refuses to admit she's on the team," Jubilee said with a huff. "Which is stupid. I mean. I've been one for like — ever."

Tommy paused for a second in fighting to grin her way. "I know how to fix this. Just give me a patch or twelve and about, oh, one-eighth of a second. Presto. X-uniforms."

She giggled his way. "I was thinking of hitting her with it for Christmas if she doesn't pull her head out."

"Kate? Oh. Good luck with that one." He chuckled and shook his head. "If she's in denial, she is in it _deep_. You should've seen how long it took us to get a first date. And I am _not_ patient. That was… that was _hard_."

"I hadn't noticed. I thought you were a pillar of patience. I mean … you've been so patient here," she teased.

He smirked and then ran once around the room to knock down the last few guys left standing. "That was taking too long. Let's go bug the others now," he said.

"See? What did I just say?" She laughed as he scooped her up again.

"I don't know. I had already moved on to other things," he teased before he took off at a run until they reached open air — and the rest of the Young Avengers, who looked like they had been poised for a fight and were a bit surprised to find their friends had already rescued themselves.

"I did not ditch you!" Jubilee shouted Kate's way before Kate could say anything.

"No, but you definitely had all the fun without us, it looks like," Kate said, gesturing to the two of them. They were both fairly covered in dust and rubble from everything that they had been blowing up, not to mention the results of their fighting. The other Young Avengers spread out a bit just to double-check that there were no more bad guys and that no one was following their friends, but they all seemed to relax when there was nothing in the way of action.

"But you guys were so _slow_ ," Jubilee laughed.

"That's why I'm always saying!" Tommy said as he set her down. "See, Billy? _She_ gets it." He grinned her way. "Hey — do X-Men take part-timers?" he asked all of a sudden.

"Most of them are part-timers," Jubilee admitted. "More often than not, Logan is gone - off … doing … well. Things."

"I love doing things." Tommy grinned at her.

"His things usually involve ninjas or cyborgs or secret government run black torture groups. It's a real laugh riot."

"Mine usually involve aliens or secret government-run black torture groups," Tommy said, pulling a horrible face.

"Yep, we get aliens too from time to time," Jubilee said with a nod. "Thanks for the lift, Speedy."

"It's just Speed," Tommy said with a grin and a two-finger salute. "And with that — I am off. I have a factory shift, believe it or not. Like a _responsible citizen_." He looked surprised at himself.

"That sounds awful," Jubilee said.

"It really really is," Tommy agreed fervently. "A couple months' work in five minutes flat, but boy does it pay the bills." He grinned her way. "I already stole your digits from Kate — I'll call you about the X-patches later."

She nodded and waved his way as she walked toward the rest of the group. She took a deep breath and gestured down at herself, allowing the grin to slip as she instead went into a dramatic sort of pout. "I got dirty. Blood and dust and yuck."

"The shower facilities on my ship are superb, if you need a good rinse," Noh-Varr offered, grinning at her.

"I'd need clothes too," she told him. "Eventually."

He waved his hand with a little laugh. "Details."

She giggled at the expression on his face and turned to Kate. "You want to take the jeep back to Sunshine?"

"Is he going to kill me if I come back alone? Because if so, the answer is no," Kate teased.

"No, just call Kurt when you're five minutes from the house and have him meet you in the garage. Again. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, and it's none of his business," Jubilee said with a smirk.

"Then have fun, you crazy kids," Kate said, holding up a hand to catch the keys Jubilee threw her way. In a quiet whisper as she passed Jubilee, she added, "I think — third drawer from the bottom. I might have left some clothes behind."

"I'm kind of curious to see what his plan is without throwing him a lifeline," Jubilee admitted. "I didn't really appreciate the last alien clothes I wore, but … I was fourteen at the time."

"If he starts drowning, that's where you should go. I don't think he even knows there are shirts in there still."

"Have fun with your Elf," Jubilee said with a troublemaking little grin. "I don't know how long this will take, but — you know nothing."

Kate mimed a zipper over her mouth. "No, Wolverine, I have no idea why the jeep smells like the two of us and hair spray. Why would you ask such a thing?"

"Just tell him he's paranoid," Jubilee suggested. "Works more often than not to cover your tracks."

"Because it is not even a lie," Kate agreed before she waved Jubilee off. "Have fun. And if you decide to stay in space, send me pictures of the planets you go to. I expect selfies."


	13. Isla Des Demonas

**Notes from robbie: I'm not going to lie, it was just a happy coincidence that this** _ **particular**_ **chapter just happened to fall on unlucky number 13… but it is a beautiful, beautiful thing that I'm going to chalk up to fate. I'm not even going to tell you why, because it would spoil it. Just… just read it. Just trust me. It's amazing.**

 **Notes from CC: It was fate with the 13. For sure. And I think that for the sake of because let's say the most important stuff in this chapter happened on a Friday. Why not. Enjoy! It's beautiful and I'm tickled STILL that you guys are reading along while we're grade A Goons. Much love!**

* * *

 **Chapter 13: Isla Des Demonas**

Kate hadn't allowed Kurt to have any idea of where they were going for his birthday, insisting not only on driving to the airport but also on packing their suitcases herself and everything. By the time all the bamfs and Kurt and the suitcases were loaded up in the little purple car, Kate was full-on singing to herself as she snapped out a new pair of sunglasses and pushed them up the bridge of her nose.

"You're so _old_ today," she teased him as he slipped into the passenger seat beside her. "I think I saw a gray hair and everything. So old."

"If I have a gray hair, you gave it to me," he said with a smirk.

She placed one hand on her heart. "Me?" she asked innocently. "I'm no trouble at all. I don't know _what_ you're talking about."

"Tell that to my gray hairs," he said with a laugh before he kissed her.

"They make you look so distinguished," she teased right back.

She drove them down to the little airport and hired a private flight for them — and he teased her as usual about how she spoiled the bamfs when they each got their own seats and little in-flight snacks again. For her part, she insisted that the bamfs were hers now anyway and she just let him pretend to keep them for appearances' sake before she drew him into a kiss and cuddled up under his chin for the duration of the flight.

It took a few hours — and then at last they landed at a tiny private island out in the Keys, with a beach house that looked like it hadn't been used in a while, though Kate had made some arrangements to at least have it cleaned out and have new furniture and such brought in.

"Nothing like a warm weather getaway in the middle of fall," Kate announced as she threw open the door to the beach house and tossed the suitcases onto the very large and very purple bedspread. "Your swimming trunks are in there, and I even packed bug spray," she informed him before she leaned over to kiss his nose and then started to dig through her own suitcase. "I bought three brand new bathing suits just for the occasion, and I look good in _all_ of them."

"You look good in everything," Kurt amended for her.

"It's a gift," she teased. "How else am I supposed to catch the eyes of handsome elves?"

"You did that by being charming," Kurt replied easily, watching her with a fond smile. "The cute was a lucky coincidence."

She beamed at him. "Well. You're pretty darn adorable yourself — and dashing and heroic. Plucking pretty girls out of the sky and all that."

"It's my niche," he said with a laugh.

She hung her jacket over the nearest chair and shimmied out of her jeans into some short black shorts before she slipped out of her shoes, digging through the suitcase for some flip-flops to wear instead. "You're very good at it, you know. The dashing thing," she said half over her shoulder, knowing she was slightly rambling as she could hear her heart beating somewhere in between her ears instead of in her chest where it belonged as she tried to work up the nerve to just… _say it_. "Must be because you practice."

"I don't need to practice it," he replied her way as he looked around them carefully, taking in all the preparations she'd made. "I was just born this way."

"Lucky me," she giggled. "Because I happen to love dashing heroes."

"No, lucky me that some other dashing hero didn't scoop you up from mid-air," Kurt replied, his smile stretching as he watched her finally find her shoes.

She smirked his way before she dashed over to steal a little kiss. "Well, no one does the heroic scoop quite the way you do," she teased.

"That's entirely true," Kurt replied easily, then slipped into a chair to lean back. "So much travel. It's exhausting. _Flying_." He said it as if the very thought was painful in his overly dramatic tone.

"Well, not all of us can take the brimstone express, and this?" She gestured around the little beach house. "Was a birthday surprise."

"I'm sure the house is magnificent, but that's really not the view that interests me."

She laughed and just sat down on the edge of his knees, leaning in for a kiss. "Typical," she said with a dramatic sigh. "To think I went to all this trouble."

"I do appreciate the change in wardrobe though," he said with a devilish grin.

She grinned at that. "I thought you might," she teased him as she started to play with his curls, twisting them with her index finger for a moment. "And there's no X-Men or aliens or anything way out here to bother us either," she added in a low whisper. "I hardly even get cell coverage."

"Oh, promises, promises," he countered as he pulled her closer to him and kissed her tenderly. "There is at least one X-Man here, and aliens - well. Who knows what that porter was back at the airport."

"At least one?" she repeated with a teasing smirk. "Are you inducting the bamfs?"

"If that's what you want to believe," he laughed quietly.

"I'm sure they'd hate wearing the uniforms," she said thoughtfully, pretending to consider the possibility.

"I'm sure they'd love it — but we'd _hate_ the fall out from them wearing uniforms _in public_ ," he countered.

"Which part? The they-look-like-babies part or the demons part or the part where you _know_ they'd try to dress up as _specific_ X-Men at some point?" she laughed.

"All of that, and the property damage that would be easier pinned to us," he answered, laughing quietly as he traced the tips of his fingers over the edge of her shoulders. "Two bamfs did over five thousand dollars in damage when Bobby took them out for pizza."

"Well, I'll have to start making a line-item budget for that if I want to stick around," she said. "Bamf property damage… romantic getaways… new bathing suits. You're a lot of work," she teased outright, clearly enjoying herself.

"I'm a terrible drain," he agreed. " _Very_ high maintenance."

She grinned and kissed his cheek. "It's alright. I love you anyway."

He beamed at her, clearly delighted, as he took her chin in his hand and nodded. "And I love you, too." He leaned forward and the two of them shared a kiss as the skies around them suddenly turned dark and the wind whipped up, blowing all sorts of debris around them.

The kiss broke, and they looked around them with no small measure of alarm as it seemed they were in the center of a swirling smoky vortex. The vortex seemed to close in on them, and Kurt held her tightly and tried to teleport them out of it, but when that simply didn't work, he sucked in a quick breath in alarm and joined her in looking at the approaching dark, hot smoke anxiously, his arms around her shoulders and his tail around her middle as she held on with both hands to his arms as well.

The closer it got, the tighter they held each other, fearful that once it reached them they would be torn from each other. But the vortex was a lot stronger than they thought, and the harder they tried to hold on, the harder it was to do just that. Before they knew it, they were holding each other's hands by the fingertips — and then they were separated.

It was impossible to see anything in the haze of smoke and debris, and Kate had to close her eyes against the heated swirling winds that made her eyes water and threatened her best sense. She reached out blindly when she thought she felt something like solid ground beneath her — and nearly choked on relief when she felt the comforting familiarity of a tail wrapping around her waist and fuzzy arms supporting her as she got to her feet. She blinked against the embers and smoke as she grabbed onto the wrist just supporting her at the elbow and held on as she looked beyond them to try and determine where they were, the smoke still heavy and the sensation of being whipped around still playing havoc with her insides.

She thought she could see a figure in the smoke itself and for a moment tightened her grip on the arms supporting her — until she recognized the pointed blue ears and the switching tail and let out a little squeak as she looked down and realized for the first time that the tail, and the arms holding her — were _red_.

Kate quickly released her grip on the man's wrist and tried to push him back, but he just grabbed both of her wrists in his hands, red tail wrapping even tighter around her to pull her even closer as he looked her over with an almost amused expression on his pointed features before he turned his sights on Kurt, who was picking himself up from the smoke and looking downright gobsmacked — and completely furious.

The red-skinned man let out a soft chuckle as he looked Kurt over. "Aren't you going to introduce me, my boy?" he said in a silky tone. "I'd offer my congratulations on your…" He paused and looked Kate over. "...discerning tastes, but I haven't yet had the pleasure."

"You have no right to know anything about her," Kurt half snarled, his hands curled into fists at his side. "Let her go."

"Why don't you come and get her?" Azazel asked with a wide smile. "Should be simple enough for you." As if to taunt Kurt, he released one of Kate's hands but held the other over her head and, with a quick twist with his tail, spun her into a little twirl that only ended up spinning her in closer to him so he could take her chin in one hand and grin at her.

Kate jerked her head back away from him and glared with narrowed eyes. "You're gonna lose that tail in five seconds," she snapped at him as she tried unsuccessfully to pull free.

He pulled her in tightly and got mere inches from her nose. "Go ahead and try it," he half purred before he addressed Kurt without looking away from her. "I think I see what you like about this one."

While Azazel's attention was on Kate, Kurt reached to his hip and very carefully pressed the button on his badge that would turn on his locator. "Why did you bring us here?" Kurt called out to try and draw his father's attention back to him and away from Kate. "You have no reason to bother her."

A pleased sort of expression flitted over Azazel's face. "No reason?" he laughed, finally turning to face Kurt. "My boy, I have every right to give my blessing, meet the woman who may well give me my next grandchild." He looked Kate over again, his gaze falling far from her face. "How long do you intend to make me wait?"

"Eternity," Kurt replied coldly and without hesitation. "I won't do anything to help boost your power. Especially at her expense."

"I see," was the simple response, almost unconcerned. The red tail was slowly wrapping around one of Kate's legs as he just watched them both for a moment before he grinned softly to himself. "Then perhaps, if nothing else," he said, his attention back on Kate, who seemed to be simply livid as she kept trying to pull away, "I can trust you to raise your next little brother or sister as your own."

"That … _no_ ," Kurt half stammered. "That is _not_ going to happen. I won't just — you _can't._ " Kurt's tail was switching behind him in irritation, the movements growing more restless the wider Azazel just grinned at him.

"Are you going to stop me?" Azazel asked with a laugh that was pure amusement.

"You know that I will if she can't," Kurt countered.

The response only seemed to please Azazel. "Stop me then," he chuckled, daring him. "Do try and make it a challenge, my boy. Though I doubt it will be one." He laughed quietly. "Especially as you are so reluctant to use the abilities I gave you, obstinate child."

Kate was trying to kick at Azazel's tail to get it _off_ of her as she glared at him. "C'mon, Kurt, give him what-for. I'll help you feed him his tail — just 'port me away from the Mayor of Creepville, and we'll take him together."

"I can't," Kurt replied through his teeth. "That's exactly what he wants."

She paused in her losing battle to look up at him in pure surprise. "What _for_? So you can drag him nine ways to Jersey and back?"

"He doesn't want to go to New Jersey," Kurt explained calmly. "But he'd be tickled to go back to his armies in Hell. He's trapped here on earth, and it's limiting his powers. He wants out — one way or another."

"Oh." Kate took just a second to nod before she went back to trying to break Azazel's grip. "That's alright, _Engelchen_. You sit this one out. I got this," she muttered out with a deep glare as Azazel just burst into laughter at her words.

"An angel, she calls you," he chuckled deeply. "As if any son of mine could fall so low."

"He's worth twenty of you!" Kate practically snarled at him, and Azazel turned her way with a little smirk.

"Hush now," he said, moments before he sent a bolt of energy through Kate that positively froze her in place. He looked her over with a satisfied smile before he turned his attention to Kurt, his expression one of pure amusement. "It's so unlike you to _hide_ behind such a fragile little thing, my boy," he said, still smirking. "Allowing her to play with fire — such a tragedy should she get burned."

"You can't have what you came for," Kurt said as Azazel gently set Kate down on the sand. "I won't teleport, I won't kill you, and _she_ is off limits." He headed toward his father with a thunderous look of rage on his features. "But I _will_ beat you."

…...

In Westchester, Logan was trying to settle in to watch a hockey game when the room was filled with panicked, angry bamfs that didn't want to seem to leave him alone.

One of them was yanking at the hand that held a beer, another had flipped off the television — and the rest were just ... swarming and chattering at top speed.

He looked from one to the next, frowning as they were just _so_ upset and _so_ anxious. "What's the problem here?" he asked trying to pull his hand away from one of them. "I can't understand you when you chatter that fast."

 _Bamf_. Logan looked up at the little noise to see one of Kate's friends, the speedster, who looked like he had been sound asleep and was s,till in his pajamas with very bad bedhead. "What. The heck," he said sleepily.

"I'd offer you a beer, but they won't even let _me_ drink it right now," Logan muttered. "They're interrupting my game, and they won't calm down enough to explain." The bamfs around him were still pulling on him and chattering.

 _Bamf. Bamf._ Another two of Kate's friends, looking less sleepy and more irate, appeared as well — Teddy and Billy, dressed to the nines and clearly having just been stolen from a date. The bamfs that had brought them both there immediately abandoned them to go to Logan and start jabbering some more, pointing at the two more Young Avengers almost as if they thought that would help clear things up.

"Bringing more people here isn't making this any easier," Logan told them a little heatedly. "What do you want?"

While the bamfs were gesturing and chattering and trying to make themselves understood, Tommy ran over to his brother and looked him over. "Alright. I was going to complain, but I'll give it to you instead."

"We didn't even get our drinks," Teddy said with a long sigh. "It took me forever to get a reservation, too."

"What's going on here, anyway?" Tommy asked.

"If you've got an answer, I'd love to hear it," said Clint — who had just arrived and looked to be part of the way through wrapping some bandages around his knee.

By that time, Logan was crouched down and concentrating on one bamf that seemed to be a little calmer than the others as he very carefully tried to tell Logan what was going on. Logan was nodding from time to time as the other little bamfs were enthusiastically nodding or holding each other and looking scared. "Okay. But when did that happen?" Logan asked, and the little one started talking again in a long series of bamfs as Logan frowned deeper.

He looked up at the gathered friends of Kate then back to the bamfs. "You really think you needed to bring all of them here too?" The little bamf answered wide-eyed as he nodded slowly before he started jabbering again. "Oh," Logan said softly before turning to the others. "Clint, quit trying to do that yourself. Go have Henry fix you up. I'm not asking."

"I'm just about done," Clint said, indicating his knee.

"If you don't go down there, I'm gonna give you three new reasons to head down," Logan promised.

Clint rolled his eyes and made a face. " _Fine_. Is that all that's going on here? Little baby demons brought me to get yelled at? What'd the kids do to earn that?"

"No, we're going to find Kate and Kurt," Logan said. "Sounds like Azazel is trying to pull some crap."

Clint looked a bit pale before he all but ran down to find Henry and called over his shoulder, "I'll need some extra quivers, if you know where Kate keeps hers in this place."

Logan turned to the little bamfs and just tipped his head, waiting for them to go do as Clint had asked. There was a little pop, and three of them disappeared to get the quivers. He then turned to the well-dressed couple. "You can't go fight him like that."

Teddy tipped his head at Billy, who sighed and raised his hands. " _Wearingouruniforms. Wearingouruniforms. Wearingouruniforms_ ," he said, and in a second, the two of them were dressed far more appropriately for battle — and even Tommy had his green and white suit and goggles.

"Sure," Logan said with a frown. "Come on, I'll take you downstairs. Gotta check something out on the way so we know where we're goin'."

"Didn't they tell you that?" Tommy asked. "I mean — seeing as you speak the language, apparently."

"They don't know," Logan replied as he led them off. "Apparently they weren't allowed in — or ... they got left out ... didn't want to go with Azazel — something."

"How'd you get all that from just a bunch of 'bamf's?" Teddy asked curiously.

"You just kinda — get it," Logan replied with a shrug as he pushed open the door to the ready room, where there was a beacon going off on the screen. He shook his head and let out a humorless laugh. "Well that just figures."

"Figures what?" Tommy zipped over to look at the beacon himself.

"Island of Demons," Logan replied, reaching over to grab Tommy by the back of his uniform before the kid could speed off on his own. "We're going together, though, so don't get any smart ideas. You don't know what this guy is like."

Tommy let out a noise like a whine. "But you guys are so _slow_. Can't I just run down and grab them?"

"I know. It's painful sometimes. Learn to deal. If it's too hard to cope, I can just knock your ass out." Logan gave him a dry look, as if to show that it was an actual offer.

Tommy shifted for a moment before he quickly decided that he didn't want to find out if Logan was being serious, and he let out a loud sigh. "That's okay. I can wait," he grumbled. "Just … give me two seconds. I need food. Little blue fuzzballs woke me up after a factory shift."

"Help yourself," Logan told him. "I gotta get my party dress on anyhow." He pointed down the hall. "End of the corridor is the hangar. Meet you there." With that, he headed toward the med bay to fill Clint in on what the plan was.

"Thanks, man," Tommy said with a wide grin, zipping down and then back again a few seconds later with several armfuls of food. "Okay, I'm set. Lead the way, oh brother mine," he told Billy with a cocky grin.

Billy rolled his eyes at Tommy's antics, but the three Young Avengers quickly headed down the corridor anyway, with Tommy munching happily all the way down.

"You guys looked nice before. Practicing for the wedding dinner?" he asked conversationally.

"No," Teddy said with a light shrug. "Just a night out."

"You know. Not the usual quick meal at the nearest diner after a mission thing?" Billy pointed out. "We've got to shake it up."

"If you say so." Tommy shrugged easily and just kept right on snacking. "Think Kate has a stash of coffee around here? No, wait, don't answer that. I'll find it." He shoved all the food into Teddy's arms and dashed off, reappearing a few moments later with a full coffee cup that sloshed as he came to a stop. "Ow." He shook out his hand. "Right, yeah, not quite awake yet. I was very out."

Billy shook his head at Tommy. "You know you can come be part of the Avengers if you want. I'll tell them you're my brother and-"

"Oh no. You guys are _way_ too serious for me," Tommy said, shaking his head quickly. "I'm good. Just call me in for the big crises and stuff."

Billy just sighed and rolled his eyes at his brother, and they made their way into the hangar. Teddy and Billy fell into easy, quiet conversation as they discussed their next date and how to get their reservations and their money back, while Tommy was eating through what looked like half a pantry.

It wasn't long after the Young Avengers were situated before the two oldest among them made their appearance — both of them ready to go and looking very serious. Once they were all loaded up, Logan closed the door behind him and just headed up for the cockpit.

"See? What'd I tell you. _Serious_ ," Tommy said as he looked over the two of them.

"Only serious because I have to deal with Kurt's stupid dad," Logan grumbled. "Killed his mom, guess it's time to do in his dad too." He turned to look at them for a moment as the engines warmed up. "Any of you ever cross paths with Azazel before?"

The three Young Avengers shared a look of alarm before they all shook their heads, though Teddy said, "We've read some freaky reports, though."

"Reports. That's all they give these kids," Logan said half under his breath before raising his voice to a more normal level. "He's a demon with half the powers of Hell backing him up. Keep away from him if you can — just get Kate away. Try to get Kurt away too. Killing demons is my turf. At least — this one is."

"Like — a literal demon from Hell?" Tommy cocked his head to one side like he couldn't quite believe it.

"Did I stutter?" Logan asked dryly.

Tommy ignored the jab and just seemed to consider his options for a moment "Is he going to come back if I shatter him in pieces?"

"Your job is to get Kate away. I don't know what he'll do if you shatter him — but I doubt he's alone, and he hasn't stayed dead yet."

"It'll take me two seconds to get Kate. I wanna _shatter_ a demon."

"If history's any indicator," Logan said as they finally took off. "There will be more than one demon there. Shatter one of them. Hell, shatter a dozen — but keep away from Azazel."

"Good enough for me." Tommy was grinning wide, a deep contrast to his brother's expression of downright concern. He settled down to finish eating — and the Young Avengers fell mercifully silent for the rest of the trip.

"Isla des Demonas," Logan muttered out a short while later, shaking his head as they circled in for a landing. "You guys ready for this?"

"Very much not," Teddy admitted before he glanced to Logan. "But also — yes. Very ready."

Logan smirked at that. "Just try and keep away from Azazel, and you'll probably be fine."

Clint looked back at the kids with an easy smile. "Don't worry. Nobody'll judge if you fall on your face — so long as you don't die."

"Yeah," Logan chuckled. "I'd rather not be the one to have to talk to Wanda if you croak."

"So inspirational. Both of you," Billy said, rolling his eyes before he made a show of rolling up his sleeves. "Okay ... demons. I think Loki might have taught me a spell or two for those."


	14. Matters of Blood

**Notes from robbie: Thanks to everyone who's still sticking with us while we have a blast with this story. We're tweaking Azazel just a bit from what's currently in the comics, since we figured him being stuck on Earth would give him some problems. Because consequences are a thing, guys. We believe in consequences.**

 **And also! This is the final chapter of Volume 2. Can you believe it? We're wrapping things up here and finally getting these idiots to admit how much they love each other** _ **openly**_ **. Imagine.**

 **We'll be putting up the first chapter of Volume 3 on Canucklehead Cowgirl's account very shortly, so make sure you look out for that. It's called "Kree, Shi'ar, and Skrulls, Oh My!" and we're pretty darn excited about it because it introduces… well, you'll see ;)**

 **From CC: Thanks for sticking with us … so … I guess it's now … time - *c'mere … let's go.***

 **That is all I have. I am sorry.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14: Matters of Blood**

Logan found a reasonable clearing to land the blackbird in, and the little group quickly made their way out, though Clint looked fit to be tied as Logan stood a few yards from the bottom of the steps with his eyes closed just ... taking it in and trying to isolate the scents in the air. They stood near him, and the Young Avengers were making their own conclusions about what the heck he was up to until Logan's eyes popped open and he took off at nearly a run, zipping through the tropical island jungle as if he'd been through there a hundred times before.

"Caught the scent," Clint muttered over his shoulder at the three boys before he took off after Logan too, and the Young Avengers followed after him — Tommy at a jog that looked like it physically pained him with how slow it was and the others at a run.

When they came up on a clearing near the beach, Logan slowed to a stop and just watched the scene in front of him for a moment. Kurt was fighting off several incredibly nasty looking demons — while Kate was idly standing next to Azazel holding a tray and looking as if she was serving him drinks. Kurt looked to be wearing down as Azazel taunted him, daring him to use his abilities to end the fight faster.

"Gotta get the demons off Kurt. One of you guys get your girl outta trouble; I'm goin' for the red one," Logan said before he simply burst out of the underbrush, headed right for Azazel.

The red-skinned demon only just saw him before he attacked, and he leapt to his feet to defend himself. He drew his sword and swung as Logan popped his claws and met the swing with a resounding clang.

The others shared a look before they also burst out to start fighting. Clint and the two other Avengers ran right over to join Kurt in fighting off the demons, while Tommy zipped across the sand to try and snatch Kate back from Azazel. He scooped her up bridal style to carry her away from Logan and Azazel, though he nearly dropped her when she dropped all the drinks and glasses as he did so — and one of the glasses broke beneath them to very badly tear up his feet.

"Ow. Ow, ow. Ow," Tommy said as he skidded on the sand, put Kate down, and reached down to pull a chunk of glass from his heel. "Ow." He was distracted enough extracting the glass that he didn't see Kate take a swing until the tray connected with the side of his head, and he went sprawling. " _OW_."

Kate spun to throw the tray at him, and he narrowly ducked before it would likely have taken his head off at the speed it was traveling. Hopping on one foot for a moment, he looked up at her with a perfect puppy dog pout. "So mean, Hawkeye. You gotta learn to play nicer."

She just took a running dive right for him, and he zipped out of the way, running on his injured foot with little muttered "ow"s the entire time. With a shout, she grabbed hold of a bottle that hadn't shattered and, for a moment, watched his trajectory — which was easier to see when he was limping and slower than usual — before she threw the bottle with precise aim and smacked him square in the forehead, knocking him over.

In a second, she had pounced on him, her knees on his chest as she grabbed a piece of broken glass and looked about ready to drive it into his neck.

Suddenly, Azazel cried out in pain as Logan sunk his claws through Azazel's thigh. And with the cry of pain, Kate seemed to suck in a sharp breath as she realized what she was about to do to Tommy. She dropped the glass and backed up a step as she stared at Tommy wide eyed.

"Tommy — I'm sorry. I couldn't…" She stared at him for a second — until he grinned at her and shrugged openly.

"Welcome back, Hawkeye. There are demons to fight. Want to help?"

"Your foot," she said, glancing down not only at Tommy's foot but at the little red droplets everywhere that he had left in his wake while running.

"Yeah, you busted it. It'll heal," Tommy assured her as he limped over and draped an arm around her shoulders, pointing with one hand to where the battle was still taking place. "But _demons_ , Kate. Let's go fight them."

In the meantime, the other three members of the rescue party had run over to where the demon fight was. Teddy and Billy were both in the air to engage the ones with wings — while Clint slid right up beside Kurt, who was wielding two swords and looked to be worn down and plastered with sweat but was, to the others' surprise, not teleporting.

"Thought you and Katie were supposed to be having a romantic getaway. Unless this is your idea of romance?" Clint asked as he just started firing arrows.

"I'm in no mood for playful banter right now, _mein Freund_ ," Kurt replied shortly. "We are in a battle for heaven and earth."

"Right." Clint nodded and dropped his smirk. "Big stakes. We're here for backup, though. You look like you could use a breather. Catch one."

Kurt glanced Clint's way and smiled genuinely. "What is it that Logan likes to say? We can sleep when we're dead?"

"If you say so. I'm all for naps and pizza. You know. After the battle for heaven and earth."

"That sounds amazingly tempting — and _when_ we win this, I will take you all out and pick up the tab," Kurt promised. "But for our immediate future, please — don't stop shooting the demons. Don't waste your time using fire, though; they love it."

Clint made a show of putting away the splodey arrow he had been about to fire. "Good to know. I'll have Stark look into making ice arrows if we ever decide to do this dance again."

"How do they feel about a little rain?" Billy called out. "I'm not Storm, but I might be able to make a little cloud for a few seconds."

"It couldn't hurt to try," Kurt called back to him.

"Alright then." Billy raised both his hands and started to chant, " _Iwantittorain. Iwantittorain. Iwantittorain_ ," until, for just an instant, there was a pure downpour that left everyone soaked and the demons positively steaming — literally. It didn't last long, and Billy looked a bit tired afterward, but it had definitely gotten the attention of the creatures they were fighting, who looked put-out and had a little less bite to their attacks while they were sopping wet like that.

"Alright, Billy!" Teddy called out to his fiance before he took the opportunity to shapeshift into what looked like a green copy of one of the nearest demons and knock the thing out of the sky into a quick and dirty wrestling match.

With that, Kurt had finally gotten enough help from Clint and the Young Avengers to try and turn his attention toward other matters. He wanted to go right to Kate — to make sure she was safe — but Logan was closing in on the kill. "Logan, _no!_ " Kurt shouted out before he ran toward where his best friend was moments away from sending a fist full of claws through Azazel's head. "You can't kill him."

Logan looked confused as very suddenly, Azazel started to try and pull Logan's arm closer. The action in and of itself got the little berserker to stop in his tracks and retract his claws and simply hit him instead before he called out to Kurt. "The hell's goin' on, Elf?"

"His power is limited here. He wants to get to his armies — and he needs to get to the other side for that to happen. If we kill him, he will have the means to take over, heaven, earth, and everything in between," Kurt answered in a rush, hoping desperately that his friend would simply trust him and ask for more later. "We can stop him, but we can't kill him."

Logan looked toward Azazel's smug expression. "As if this animal can go against his urges," Azazel said quietly. With that, Logan and Azazel glared at each other for a moment until Logan just head butted him hard and knocked him backward a few steps. Both of them were partly torn up at least — and Azazel seemed to have no problem trying to tear into Logan as viciously as he could, even using the tip of his tail to slice open fresh wounds as the two of them battled, now with Logan's claws sheathed more often than not.

Just moments later, Tommy and Kate came running in to join the battle with the other demons, reluctant to get anywhere near the vicious one-on-one nearby, and as Clint tossed Kate a collapsible bow and she shook it out to use, she called to him, "How did you even know where to find us? Where _are_ we, even?"

"Ask your small demon fanclub," Clint replied. "They went to get backup. Something about how they didn't want to touch this fight or… something, I don't know. I don't speak baby blue fluff."

"I sent out a beacon," Kurt explained as he twirled and lunged between two demons. "It's integrated into the badge — which I have been _trying_ to get you to wear."

"And here I thought it was just... " Kate shook her head and let fly three arrows at once. "Alright, I'll wear the badge! I didn't realize it was _useful._ "

Kurt grinned her way. "Do you think we could get Logan to wear it if there wasn't a sound reason behind it?"

"Fair point," Kate admitted. "I just thought — honestly, I thought it was just that you were…"

"Marking my territory?" Kurt said with a little grin.

"Yes, that. Exactly that," she agreed, starting to laugh. "Now I sound paranoid."

"Oh no, _Vögelchen_ — it's that too," Kurt teased.

"Well." She paused and looked his way as she fired another couple of arrows. "Maybe I'd still wear it even if it wasn't useful, then."

"I'd kiss you if I were closer," Kurt called out as he spun into the slimiest looking demon to kick it in the eye.

"You two are ridiculous. And I can't believe _I'm_ the one saying that!" Clint called back to them, and Kate just laughed at her mentor before she turned her attention to the fight between Logan and Azazel.

The two of them were back to slashing at each other, though Azazel seemed reluctant to get too close to Logan even as he made his attacks. Logan had no such reservations, though, and was decidedly the more blood-coated of the two as he teetered closer and closer to an all-out berserk rage.

Kate was surprised for a moment at Azazel's reluctance to get closer, watching the demon cross blades with Wolverine until she noticed it — the way he drew back when Logan managed to get a blood-soaked hand on one of Azazel's open wounds. It wasn't the blow that Azazel drew back from, she saw now — he was trying to get Logan's blood off of him, and she saw his tail rubbing against the wound even as he dove back into battle.

She ran over a bit closer, trying to put words to the thought that was forming in her mind as she called out, "Look, I dunno if it's a race thing or what, but he doesn't want your blood touching his Or ... getting him infected or something, I don't know!"

"I can't freakin' infect him," Logan spit out between blows. "Healing factor won't let anything live in my system long enough to be an infection."

"Well it sure bothers him, anyway," Kate said before Azazel took a moment to just sneer her way.

"Such a naive child, who still believes in fairy tales," he said with a deep glare. "Who calls _my_ son an angel and seems to expect their help."

"Is that supposed to be some kinda crack?" Logan snarled out. "Cause I sure as hell ain't anywhere close to an angel, but I did beat the crap outta your boss — so what does that mean, exactly?" He lunged toward Azazel and slipped under his arm to pop up behind him and wrap an arm around his throat, hauling him backward before he popped the claws on his free hand and cut open his own arm wide, letting the blood drip down across Azazel's chest.

The demon hissed with displeasure, Logan's grip slackening enough that Azazel simply slipped free of him, before he turned the full force of a glare at Logan. "No, you are no angel," he half-snarled. "You are far lower than that. Unlucky fodder tossed aside with an accident of protection in your veins."

"So you're sayin' she's right, and that it burns." Logan smirked at him, the frustration of the slow fight quickly slipping away as he now had a plan on how to deal with it. "Shoulda brought Henry and a transfusion kit." Logan didn't take his eyes off of Azazel as he shouted over to Kurt. "Hey, Elf! I'm about to be blood brothers with your dad. He's not thrilled with the idea."

"So — does that make you his nephew?" Clint asked Kurt with a little smirk just before a demon tackled him and distracted his attention.

But Kurt was frowning as he looked Logan's way. "You should _not_ give my father access to your blood, _mein Freund_."

"If it hurts him, what difference does it make?" Logan asked, already back to blows with Azazel.

"For one thing — I said not to kill him, and your blood, it seems, may do just that," Kurt countered with a frown.

Logan blinked for a moment, glancing between red and blue. "You're tyin' my hands here, but fine. Just beat him into submission. That I can do. But I'm gettin' tired of this crap." With that, Logan switched his stance to a more disciplined one and started to lay into him with what Kate thought was at least eight different styles of martial arts — no claws needed.

"If I knock him senseless is that gonna lighten up your demon load?" Logan asked.

Kurt ran both of his swords through a demon before he looked up at his friend. "It just might," he called back.

"You got any tranq arrows, Kate?" Logan called out as Azazel missed hitting Logan in the throat by a fine margin, and he threw a similar shot right back at him along with a follow up that the demon couldn't dodge.

Kate checked the quiver that Clint had given her. "I've got two — do you want them both?"

"Probably not" Logan shouted back. "Try one and see if it helps. I just want to put him down without killing him since apparently today is tag and release."

"You got it," Kate said, lining up a shot as Teddy tackled a demon that looked like it might try and stop her before she let it fly with a satisfied smirk.

But while the arrow hit home — right in the side of Azazel's neck — it seemed only to infuriate the demon, who let out a cry and a half snarled, "Insolent _children_ ," before he threw Logan back from him and leaned over Logan before he could get back to his feet, pressing his thumb and index finger to Logan's forehead with blood-smeared hands. "I'm in no mood to play just now. I have more important matters to discuss with the boy." He waved a hand at Kate and Teddy. "Run along and play with them, beast," he told Wolverine before he turned his attention elsewhere as Logan crouched low and looked the kids' way.

"Oh, crap," Kate muttered before she scrambled back and away from the now apparently controlled X-Man, with Teddy right behind her.

"Um. Billy? _Billy_!" Teddy called in increasingly frantic tones. "Wiccan!"

Logan just started to creep forward slowly, matching them step for step, claws out and growling low as he stalked after them, half daring them to turn and run just through body language.

"Don't run!" Kurt shouted their way. "Whatever you do, _don't run!_ "

"What about flying? Is flying okay?" Teddy shouted back, his long, green wings already extended.

"As long as you can get out of his reach before he gets there," Kurt replied as he tore his attention from the demons and rushed toward his father.

Teddy grabbed Kate by the arms and took off from the ground in a rush of wind as Kate held her bow at the ready to try and hit Logan with it if he got too close — since she knew arrows wouldn't slow him down much.

But they didn't expect him to half run up a nearby palm tree and leap at them like he did, attaching himself to Teddy's back, with one arm around his neck and growling. As good as Teddy was — he couldn't hold up all that weight.

The three of them went tumbling into the sand, and the two former Young Avengers both instinctively rolled as far from Logan as they could, popping back up to defend themselves.

" _Logan'smindhisown, Logan'smindhisown, Logan'smindhisown,_ " Billy was chanting above them — and then trying a few others like _Iwanthimtostopattacking_ and _GotosleepWolverine_ — though some of those seemed more desperate than others.

It was helpful, too, when Tommy sent a wave through the sand that knocked them all off their feet, including Logan, which bought them a little time for Billy to try and break the hold, but it was clear to all the Young Avengers that it just wasn't working.

In the meantime, Kurt had rushed for his father, and the air rang with the sound of their swords meeting, until, for just a moment, Azazel managed to push Kurt back and looked over at Wolverine stalking up to Kate and Teddy with a subdued smirk. "Mmm. What a shame," he said softly. "And you so liked her too." He turned back to Kurt and shrugged. "Ah, well. I have other grandchildren."

Frustrated, Kurt kicked his father backwards and ran over to where Logan was making his charge at Kate and Teddy. He ran as fast as he could, and when he was close enough, he launched himself forward and attached to Logan's back, wrenching Logan's arms backward and wrapping his legs around his waist, trying to pull Logan off center. He leaned his head forward to try and keep from getting bashed in the face when Logan threw his head back, and he struggled to keep Logan's arms pulled back as the two of them played tug of war with Logan's arms.

"You have to block him out, Logan," Kurt muttered over Logan's shoulder. "You've fought back demons before; you can do it now too." He looked up to Kate and Teddy. "I can hold him. But you will need to keep Azazel busy."

With Billy still chanting his best attempts to break Azazel's spell, and Tommy and Clint occupied fighting demons, Kate and Teddy looked to each other and nodded. Teddy shifted his form once more to a taller, more slender approximation of a demon — with wings — and took off at a run, with Kate close behind him already stringing her arrows.

Teddy had rushed in to use his strength against Azazel and try to simply wrench the sword out of the demon's hands so they could get a better shot at him. Azazel just laughed low and loud as he sidestepped Teddy and took a swipe at the green hero, which Teddy only just dodged. Kate followed Teddy's attack with one of Clint's trick arrows, which Azazel snatched out of the air before it could strike him.

"Silly child," he said her way. "I have seen weapons like that for centuries and—"

The arrow exploded in brilliant light and blinded the demon temporarily, allowing Teddy to get close enough to start pounding on the guy for a while, knocking his sword aside before Azazel recovered and, with a snarl, plowed into Teddy with a blast much like the one he had used on Kate, paralyzing Teddy and leaving him in the sand as Kate rushed forward to protect her friend.

She was a few steps from Teddy when Azazel's long red tail lashed out and wrapped around her arm, and she shouted in frustration before she grabbed one of the arrows from her quiver and just plunged it into his tail, with the full intent to try and sever it. Azazel let out a hiss as his tail uncurled from her wrist, barely still hanging on, before he rushed for her.

It was honestly a testament to her training with Logan that she was able to get some solid hits in, with knees, elbows, shoulders — anything she could plant in his sides and stomach and other places. But for as good as her training was, she simply hadn't ever faced a demon or a fighter like Azazel — except maybe Logan, without the tail — and as she lashed out with a punch intended to knock the wind out of him, he caught her hand in his.

Her eyes widened for a split second before he grinned at her and readjusted his grip, his hand on her wrist now as he pulled her arm behind her so hard that she couldn't help but cry out.

"Behave," he said over her shoulder in a low, threatening, near-purr. "Learn your place now, or the rest of our time together shall not be nearly so pleasant as it has been thus far."

Across the beach, Kurt was getting frustrated. He could see Logan was trying hard to shake it, but it just wasn't something he could shrug off so easily. "This is why you shouldn't have given him your blood," Kurt said low only for Logan to hear just before his old friend threw himself backwards into a tree, trying to crush Kurt and make him let go. He wouldn't be able to stay in the fight much longer, and then Logan would be loose and still under his father's command.

"I'm sorry, _mein Freund_ , but I have no choice," Kurt said before he wrapped his tail around Logan's neck and started to simply strangle him. For a moment, Logan fought back harder, trying to reach Kurt's tail, and failing, his fingers falling just short until he slumped to his knees first, then backward on Kurt until his body simply relaxed. Kurt waited just a moment longer before releasing him and making sure that he was still, in fact, breathing before he rushed off to finish this insane fit that Azazel was having.

He arrived just as Azazel was whispering his threats over Kate's shoulder, and as Kurt saw his father simply tighten his grip on her, he adjusted his own grip on his swords as he settled into a glare. "I told you before to let her go," Kurt called out, fury on his features as he bared his teeth toward his father. "You cannot face me in a fair fight or you would have. So much for _me_ making it interesting. You brought a hoard of demons and had to possess my best friend. Coward!"

Azazel returned the furious, bared-teeth expression — the first time any of the group of Young Avengers had seen Kurt and his father look that much alike. For a moment, the two of them glared at each other before Azazel waved the hand that wasn't holding Kate, and it seemed some of the demons backed off — enough for Clint to run over to check on Logan and for Tommy to do the same for Teddy. "If you feel you've been treated unfairly, my boy, all you had to do was say so," he said in a sneer.

"I'm sure you can't tell the difference without someone pointing it out to you anyhow," Kurt replied. "Fight me. But know this — even if you manage to kill me, you will _not_ be joining me. You will stay right here on this blasted island for eternity."

Azazel simply tutted for a moment. "Willful child," he said with a shake of his head before he grabbed up his sword and swept Kate aside as he dove toward his son, his expression more smug than furious.

The two of them met each other on the sandy battlefield in a rush of steel, and the others who had come to the island couldn't help but watch — as much as they could — as the two master swordsmen battled. Neither could teleport, but that was what made the dance much more interesting, as they were both working fast, swords spinning as much as the sand around them.

It wasn't too long into the fight that the Young Avengers simply couldn't help but pause in their own fights to enjoy the show as the two swashbucklers put on their best efforts to beat the other. Azazel seemed to have no trouble making it clear that he was going to kill Kurt should the opening arise, though Kurt was pushing for incapacitation. It would have been easier, in fact, for Kurt to have simply killed him.

Azazel had spun toward Kurt and rushed in with a thrust, but at the very last possible moment, Kurt broke form and spun a bit himself simply to land an elbow squarely in his father's face, breaking his nose with a crunch. " _Sie werden immer langsam, alter Mann_ ," Kurt spit out with a wicked grin.

Azazel let out a cry of anger as he lunged forward, a bit more power to his strikes as he tried to repay Kurt in kind - or worse. The force of his counterattack actually propelled Kurt back a few steps and created an opening for just a moment as Azazel struck, one sword piercing Kurt at the shoulder as he returned Kurt's grin with a cruel smile of his own. "And yet I am fast enough to deal with wayward little boys," he whispered out. He drove the point of his sword in deeper. "Do you still honestly believe you can stop me without using my gifts?"

"My gifts were bestowed on me by God, not you," Kurt spit back. "And I shall use every bit of his grace to stop you."

"It will not be enough," Azazel replied, smiling wider.

"It is always more than you can deal with," Kurt argued. "Which is why you fear it so."

Azazel sprang forward with another angry cry, clearly intending to try and do the same thing he had just done and power through Kurt, but Kurt met him there, his teeth gritted as he pushed his father back this time.

"I will have that beastly little friend of yours finish the job," Azazel threatened. "And I will return with my armies in place. What good will God's grace do you then?"

"You will do none of those things, because his grace will stop you _now,_ " Kurt returned. "I already told you - you will live here on this island until the end of time itself."

Azazel attacked with a roar and tried again to power right through Kurt, but the fuzzy blue elf would have no part of it. Their swords clashed, sparks flying with each strike as father and son danced through across the beach and half into the water — spinning and lunging, slashing and blocking, until Azazel made an unexpected dart forward.

Kurt barely saw him coming, but once he did, he turned and simply raised his sword and pulled back as Azazel drew forward. The moment of impact when Kurt brought the hilt of his sword down left a great crack that echoed the air, and Azazel simply fell first to his knees and then slumped face down in the sand.

Kurt stepped back, panting and sweating as he looked up at the gathered crowd. "Is everyone alright?" he asked gently.

" _Keephimthere keephimthere keephimthere,_ " came a chant above Kurt's head, and the sand around Azazel solidified into what more or less amounted to shackles before Billy looked over at Kurt. "That — was terrifying and awesome at the same time," he half whispered.

"We're all more or less standing," Clint said from where he was still half watching Logan just in case. "Except for this one," he added, gesturing warily to the still Wolverine.

"He won't stay down for much longer," Kurt said with a little nod before he turned to the Young Avengers that had travelled in with Logan and Clint. "Would you do me a service, and go to the blackbird? There is a small silver bottle of water in one of the cabinets at the back of the jet."

"Say no more," Tommy said quickly before he dashed off and returned a few moments later, skidding in the sand and leaving plumes of it behind him with a chorus of little "ow"s before he handed the water to Kurt.

" _Danke_ ," he said gratefully. He turned to Kate as he made his way to Logan. "To be sure," he said as he raised the water.

Kate raised an eyebrow. "What's in there?"

"Holy water," Kurt said calmly before he knelt down next to his friend and started muttering in Latin and used just a touch of the water as he went through his rite. When he was done, he rested his hand on Logan's chest and just waited for a moment. "I think we should be fine."

"Then let's get out of here before Red and Angry wakes up," Clint suggested.

"Yes, good idea," Kurt replied before he tried to rouse Logan slowly. When Logn opened his eyes, Kurt beamed down at him. "How do you feel, _mein Freund_?"

"Like I got hit by a truck," Logan replied thickly. "Should bounce back quick enough, though."

Kurt offered his hand and helped to hoist him to his feet. "The next time I tell you not to allow a demon to touch your blood, I expect you to listen," Kurt teased as the two of them headed toward the rest of the group. Logan chuckled the slightest, and the two of them put an arm around each other as they made their way to the group.

When the two old friends met up with the others and parted ways, Kate ran right to Kurt with a look a concern as she looked over his injured shoulder. "I'm taking a look at that once we're in the air," she said. It wasn't a question.

"You can look over anything you'd like," Kurt said with a kind smile before he gave her a quick kiss.

She grinned and kissed him back just as quickly before she jerked her head to indicate the plane. "Tommy says to hurry up. He's _dying_. According to him."

"Will he ease up on the whiny little baby routine if I show him how to fly it?" Logan asked.

"I don't actually know," Kate admitted. "I mean — he doesn't really like cars, but planes… maybe?"

"I'll see what I can do then," Logan said as he gave her a quick pat on the head as he passed her by. "Cute that you worry about them. Seeing as you're five minutes older."

"I'd argue that it's more like two years, but then you'd tell me _two_ minutes," Kate said, hands on her hips.

"You're learnin'," he called out her way as he jogged toward the jet.

As soon as everyone was in the blackbird, Logan got them in the air, as they were all ready to leave the island behind as fast as they could. Kate made good on her promise to make Kurt let her look at his shoulder, and she shook her head at the stab wound as she set to work cleaning it with far too much of a practiced hand — she was used to it, looking after the Young Avengers, Clint, and herself, really.

"For future reference," she told him in a quiet undertone, "your dad wins for evil. I have _no_ idea how _you_ came from _that_."

"I tried to tell you that," Kurt said low. "Hopefully you'll never meet my mother. Logan has killed her once or twice and has sworn to do it again should she show her face. Or — if he catches her scent, I should say, seeing as she is a shapeshifter."

Kate raised an eyebrow but snorted out a little laugh and leaned forward to kiss the side of his temple. "Well, we'll avoid all future family reunions, then. Seeing as mine would mean a visit to rehab for Susan and yours would mean ... all that stuff we just did."

"Well, if it's my mother, then it would mean another supervillain meeting," Kurt confessed.

She finished cleaning his shoulder and tilted her head at him before she gave him a soft smile. "Well, of course," she said in a tone that clearly told him she wasn't too concerned about his family tree at the moent. "Only a supervillain could — you know… _want_ to stick around your dad?"

"She didn't," he said with a shrug. "And I was adopted out." He gestured to himself. "Clearly a case of nurture over nature."

"I was wondering how you turned out so wonderful, pure, and good," she said with a little smile before she kissed his cheek again.

"Just luck, honestly," he told her.

"No, I think you're just _like_ this," she countered with a little grin.

"It must be," he said before he let out a sigh. "I should tell you that after this, Logan will likely run you through some simulations with my mother as the target. And if he doesn't, I will."

She nodded thoughtfully. After having to deal with his dad in person, she wasn't about to argue the point when she'd just seen how much she was _woefully_ unprepared. "Alright. Better to prep for the inevitable horrible," she agreed.

"Yes, I'm sure that's what her name translates to in one language anyhow," he said, trying to tease before he held his breath for a moment. "I … get my coloring from my mother. Have you heard of Mystique?"

Both of Kate's eyebrows went up for a long moment. "Well… yeah," she said quietly. "We thought Teddy might be, you know, sort of like her — when we thought he was a mutant, not a Skrull."

"Ah," he said with a nod. "So he is my _almost_ little brother then."

She held his gaze for a second as she thought over the revelation before she leaned forward and gave him a little kiss. "You're nothing short of a miracle with parents like yours," she whispered, still inches from his nose.

"Believe it or not, Azazel is the better parent," Kurt replied.

" _No_." Kate pulled back a bit so she could see his expression and then shook her head when she realized he was serious. "That's insane."

"It is," he agreed.

"Then I definitely don't want to meet your mother," Kate decided with a little nod. "We'll just ignore the meet-the-family stage of dating, shall we?"

"Please," he said with a relieved little laugh.

"There's no reason to look so relieved," Teddy said from close by, and when they both looked up at him, he looked sort of embarrassed and gave them a little wave. "I, uh, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. Billy's taking a turn at the stick, and I just stopped by and... " He shook his head and then blew out a breath before he looked at Kurt. "Seriously, don't know what you were worried about. This is _Kate_."

"Be that as it may, a supervillain and a demon for parents is a lot for anyone to swallow," Kurt pointed out. "There is always the concern that my nature might come out in time."

Teddy made a face for a second before he shapeshifted - first into a form of himself with the green, distinctive Skrull clefts in his chin and then into a Kree soldier and then back. "Same here," he said. "And Billy and Tommy?" He leaned forward. "Grandfather issues," he said at a whisper. He shrugged again. "Plus, Noh's parents tried to conquer infinite universes and then kill us all when we met them — the un-dead them, I mean? So it's kind of a tired card for our team. But maybe we're just screwed up that way."

"No, Logan is always telling me to get over it," Kurt admitted. "It's just a hard pill to swallow."

"Kate, kiss the boyfriend. He needs it," Teddy ordered with a little smile, and Kate happily obliged as Teddy just shook his head.

"Well, it's all a moot point," Kurt said as he looked down at his hands. "He shouldn't bother us any time soon. The island is cursed, and the locals won't approach it."

"Then how did he even know where to find us in the first place?" Kate asked, her eyebrows wrinkled.

"You could always ask the resident magic user," Teddy suggested, tipping his head toward the cockpit. "Hey, Billy!"

Billy stuck his face out. "Teddy, I'm flying the _blackbird_ ," he said with a pout. "What's going on?"

"Do you think you could figure out what kind of demonic magic thing got Kate and Kurt busted out to his dad?" Teddy asked. "I mean — we should be good friends and make sure it can't happen again."

"Oh, I'm not sure… that's pretty advanced stuff…"

Tommy jumped up from where they _thought_ he'd been sleeping to run up to the cockpit and clap a hand on his brother's shoulder. "C'mon, Billy. What good is all that power if you're not even going to try?"

Billy glared at his brother but then sighed, climbing out of his seat to stand by the rest of them and run a hand over both Kate and Kurt without touching them with a little frown. He was muttering a spell, but too quietly for them to hear all the words — though one of them sounded like "scan." He had his eyes closed, but when he was finished, he looked up at them both with a strange sort of smile. "Well, the good news is, the spell was a one-time thing," he said. "The better news is I think you two have finally learned to _express_ yourselves."

Kate made a face at her friend. "What are you talking about?"

But Billy waved her off and looked over at Kurt for a second. "The good news for you is that it doesn't look like the spell has been on you until recently. Probably about when you died? Or maybe a little after you came back? I can only pinpoint it within years, maybe a handful of months, but..." He shrugged. "If I was a better spellcaster, I could do it," he explained before he tipped his head the slightest bit and took a deep breath. "The bad news, and I think you know this — is that your dad kind of sucks. He was waiting for you to… well, to fall in _love_. That's what triggered the portal or whatever, as far I can tell."

Kurt frowned the slightest bit. "If that's the case, I don't see why I haven't had to face him sooner," he admitted quietly, but Billy just shook his head.

"No, no," he explained. "You _both_ had to say it — and mean it." He grinned brilliantly at them both and clapped a hand on a shoulder for each of them. "Don't worry. We won't tell anyone the _big secret_ that you're madly in love. I'm sure no one can figure it out," he teased with a wink.

Kate tipped her head Kurt's way, studying him as she digested just what it meant that the spell hadn't been triggered until then ... if not one had said it _back_ to him... before she leaned over to kiss the line of his jaw for a moment. "You," she said softly, "are apparently starved for affection. I'm going to fix it."

"You're welcome to do whatever you think is necessary," Kurt said with a smile. "I won't complain."

Kate positively beamed as she addressed Billy without taking her gaze off of Kurt. "And it's just a one-time spell? It won't happen again if I say anything now?" she asked.

"It doesn't look like he was expecting to have to use it twice. It's a pretty advanced spell, but…" Billy grinned for a second. "Well, maybe you should try it now, just to be safe."

Kate grinned and leaned in to kiss Kurt. "I love you, fuzzy blue Elf."

Kurt smiled softly. "And I love you, _Vögelchen_."

The whole assembled group of them glanced around — but there was no swirling vortex, no rising smoke. Just two very widely grinning X-Men, who took the opportunity to celebrate the lack of smoke with a very long, relieved kiss as a little army of bamfs reappeared and broke into raucous dancing when they saw not only that Kurt and Kate were safe but that they were, once more, kissing.


End file.
